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Flaky people

It's the interwebs.......I expect you to flake. And am always pleasantly surprised when you don't. That being said, if you're rude or pushy, I'll flake on you. Or, if you start to bore me. I refuse to hold an entire conversation up either. I am well aware that I'm wordy, and that that irritates some people. I get it. But, if I'm writing sentences and you're writing 3 or 4 words and that's the gist of the whole thing, I just assume I'm either boring you or you're not interested in chatting and I go away. Great conversations can be had about literally anything, but great conversations require 2 way participation at a bare minimum.
 
Some people come on here and they just want to have a sex chat. Some people begin asking questions about personal details about your identity. Some people are here to have a genuine friendly conversation or to discuss an issue that's bothering you. I have a friend on here who messages me when he is stressed out about life and then he may not talk to me for a month, but I am fine with that because I know that most people have a lot going on with their lives and Zooville is only a small part of that. when I was on beastforum, I was nervous about talking to people online and I was only on the site every other month or so. I probably ghosted a lot of people back then. Now, I know how to spot certain types of people, how to play it safe, and I am more comfortable about talking to people online. I would not worry too much about being ghosted. You need to be worried about the guy who asks you too many questions. "What is your name?" "Where do you live?" "Do you own a dog?" "How old are you?" When people begin asking you those kinds of questions then it is time to ghost them.
 
A lot of people saying about being pushy overly sexual etc. I'm on about people that I've had a really good friendly unsexully related chat. Just chatted about interests and really gotten to know each other well. But then just flaked out on me. Seems to happen overwhelmingly within the zoo community. Which I get in a way. But still disheartening when you really get on with someone and seen to make a friend and then they drop you.
 
I don't think it's anymore prevalent in the zoo circles than elsewhere, if you factor in the thirsty dude salivating over any chick with interest in dog sex. But, I chat everywhere, not just zoo type environments. I think people are just flaky in general even in real life.
 
Dogdaddy69 said:
It's the interwebs.......I expect you to flake. And am always pleasantly surprised when you don't. That being said, if you're rude or pushy, I'll flake on you. Or, if you start to bore me. I refuse to hold an entire conversation up either. I am well aware that I'm wordy, and that that irritates some people. I get it. But, if I'm writing sentences and you're writing 3 or 4 words and that's the gist of the whole thing, I just assume I'm either boring you or you're not interested in chatting and I go away. Great conversations can be had about literally anything, but great conversations require 2 way participation at a bare minimum.
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I speak a genuine few words when i chat lel of my exact answer the hardest part is extending it into a bigger one.
 
I expected it to happen when I first joined and its happen a few times. It was a little odd but I got over it pretty quickly. It's normally why I never reach out to people, I let them reach out to me.
 
Sevens said:
I expected it to happen when I first joined and its happen a few times. It was a little odd but I got over it pretty quickly. It's normally why I never reach out to people, I let them reach out to me.
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Exactly. Just expect it. Because that's the nature of humans. It's not any different really than the number of douchebags out there who are ONLY around when being around is to their direct benefit. In fact, if I had to make a guess, I'd put my money on the 2 things being directly connected to the same cause, somewhere down the line. I'd lay hard cash money that if the ghoster had felt like they would profit in some way, not necessarily financially, they would have hung around until the end of time and space as long as they had that feeling.
 
Dogdaddy69 said:
Exactly. Just expect it. Because that's the nature of humans. It's not any different really than the number of douchebags out there who are ONLY around when being around is to their direct benefit. In fact, if I had to make a guess, I'd put my money on the 2 things being directly connected to the same cause, somewhere down the line. I'd lay hard cash money that if the ghoster had felt like they would profit in some way, not necessarily financially, they would have hung around until the end of time and space as long as they had that feeling.
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You seem to forget the other half of it though; when someone replies back continually but without getting a response, it would make the recipient feel like he or she is getting stalked. It's generally understood that when you try to talk someone and they don't respond back, they simply don't want to talk to you anymore.
 
Pillar said:
You seem to forget the other half of it though; when someone replies back continually but without getting a response, it would make the recipient feel like he or she is getting stalked. It's generally understood that when you try to talk someone and they don't respond back, they simply don't want to talk to you anymore.
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True but they could at least have the courtesy to shut the door on the way out instead of leaving it open
 
Common shut door ones "ill let you know if i need anything bye" or "this was a wonderful chat good luck with X" it lets the other person know if your at least done in that sequence.
 
Pillar said:
You seem to forget the other half of it though; when someone replies back continually but without getting a response, it would make the recipient feel like he or she is getting stalked. It's generally understood that when you try to talk someone and they don't respond back, they simply don't want to talk to you anymore.
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Less forgot and more didn't mention it. Personally, I just ignore people who can't take a hint, and if that doesn't do the job, I personally go straight to confrontation. Just to be sure they get the memo, in no uncertain terms, that I have zero interest. After that, it's back to ignore again. Permanently this time. It is the internet. People do stupid shit on the interwebs they would never have the guts to do face to face, but that comes with the territory. What else would you do? Life's too short to track down everyone who deserves an ass whoopin.
 
Reconscope said:
Common shut door ones "ill let you know if i need anything bye" or "this was a wonderful chat good luck with X" it lets the other person know if your at least done in that sequence.
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You're much more courteous than I am. But, then again, I generally ignore them until well past common courtesy level of response. And, I tend to favor a much blunter more direct approach. Although, not always. Occasionally it will be something along the lines of what you wrote, but laced with sarcasm. Problem with that is those type people generally tend to blow right past sarcasm as if they can't see or sense it at all. Which leads me to respond in a much more forthright manner.
 
Dogdaddy69 said:
Less forgot and more didn't mention it. Personally, I just ignore people who can't take a hint, and if that doesn't do the job, I personally go straight to confrontation. Just to be sure they get the memo, in no uncertain terms, that I have zero interest. After that, it's back to ignore again. Permanently this time. It is the internet. People do stupid shit on the interwebs they would never have the guts to do face to face, but that comes with the territory. What else would you do? Life's too short to track down everyone who deserves an ass whoopin.
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And that's the issue - "taking a hint" doesn't mean the other person will get it. Indirect communication only works when one person comprehends the other and vice versa.
 
Dogdaddy69 said:
It's the interwebs.......I expect you to flake. And am always pleasantly surprised when you don't. That being said, if you're rude or pushy, I'll flake on you. Or, if you start to bore me. I refuse to hold an entire conversation up either. I am well aware that I'm wordy, and that that irritates some people. I get it. But, if I'm writing sentences and you're writing 3 or 4 words and that's the gist of the whole thing, I just assume I'm either boring you or you're not interested in chatting and I go away. Great conversations can be had about literally anything, but great conversations require 2 way participation at a bare minimum.
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I find myself relating to the flakey internet person type. I wish I could be more honest with people, so we don't waste each other's time, but not in a harsh way of course.
 
Pillar said:
And that's the issue - "taking a hint" doesn't mean the other person will get it. Indirect communication only works when one person comprehends the other and vice versa.
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I completely agree. In fact, a large percentage don't or won't take the hint. So what? Why do I care? The end result is the same. Whether they take the hint or not, the "conversation" is over. They can keep trying until the end of time and it won't make a bit of difference to me.

What I don't understand is why you seem to think it's any issue at all? You simply don't waste your own time, end of problem.
 
If there is any issue, it's not got a damn thing to do with me, it's their issue. Not my problem.
 
Too_much_dancing said:
Is it just me or does anyone else find people on here really flaky? Like I'll strike up a good convo with someone and then all of a sudden I'm ghosted. I'm starting to take it personally ?? or do other people find this?
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Not just you. Happens all the time. Sign of the times I think. Cell phones and Internet have made people disposable.
 
Dogdaddy69 said:
You're much more courteous than I am. But, then again, I generally ignore them until well past common courtesy level of response. And, I tend to favor a much blunter more direct approach. Although, not always. Occasionally it will be something along the lines of what you wrote, but laced with sarcasm. Problem with that is those type people generally tend to blow right past sarcasm as if they can't see or sense it at all. Which leads me to respond in a much more forthright manner.
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So in other words, you just want the ability to act like a totally uncouth jackass, without paying the dues or without repercussions.

The fact of the matter is, whether you like it or not, or even if you believe it or not, in order to partake from society, you have to actively participate. That means you owe other people common courtesy even if you don't want to bother yourself to give it. That's what polite society is. Everyone owes everyone else some common courtesy. If you don't think you owe anyone anything, because you have the right to do whatever you want, remember that your rights stop where everyone else's start. It is incomprehensible how people can continually go through the world, without being empathetic enough to understand they have the obligation to make their way, not have to go around continually repairing it.

Thanks for demonstrating that you're exactly the kind of jerk everyone wants to avoid.

** Plonk**
 
aintgottaandwanna said:
So in other words, you just want the ability to act like a totally uncouth jackass, without paying the dues or without repercussions.

The fact of the matter is, whether you like it or not, or even if you believe it or not, in order to partake from society, you have to actively participate. That means you owe other people common courtesy even if you don't want to bother yourself to give it. That's what polite society is. Everyone owes everyone else some common courtesy. If you don't think you owe anyone anything, because you have the right to do whatever you want, remember that your rights stop where everyone else's start. It is incomprehensible how people can continually go through the world, without being empathetic enough to understand they have the obligation to make their way, not have to go around continually repairing it.

Thanks for demonstrating that you're exactly the kind of jerk everyone wants to avoid.

** Plonk**
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Hey, thanks for demonstrating a complete failure of reading comprehension. Nice read on what I said. FAIL.
 
I have NO obligation to humor anyone who fails to understand the basics of common courtesy. A lack of social function on someone else's part does NOT constitute some obligation on my part to coddle or humor them. Full Stop.
 
Dogdaddy69 said:
I have NO obligation to humor anyone who fails to understand the basics of common courtesy. A lack of social function on someone else's part does NOT constitute some obligation on my part to coddle or humor them. Full Stop.
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You do have obligation to humor or coddle them if you wanted to chat with them in the 1st place keep in mind these arent 1s and 0s. If you want them to stop then say so.
 
That's your opinion. You're entitled to it. I would suggest you go back and read and UNDERSTAND what I said at any point. If you like, I'll summarize it for you.
 
aintgottaandwanna said:
So in other words, you just want the ability to act like a totally uncouth jackass, without paying the dues or without repercussions.

The fact of the matter is, whether you like it or not, or even if you believe it or not, in order to partake from society, you have to actively participate. That means you owe other people common courtesy even if you don't want to bother yourself to give it. That's what polite society is. Everyone owes everyone else some common courtesy. If you don't think you owe anyone anything, because you have the right to do whatever you want, remember that your rights stop where everyone else's start. It is incomprehensible how people can continually go through the world, without being empathetic enough to understand they have the obligation to make their way, not have to go around continually repairing it.

Thanks for demonstrating that you're exactly the kind of jerk everyone wants to avoid.

** Plonk**
Click to expand...
Speak for yourself, snowflake. I find it refreshing that someone besides myself actually speaks plain, rather than constantly trying to dance around the possibility of offending somebody. If somebody is offended, that's THEIR problem to deal with.
 
A.) people in general are flaky. I expect this, real life or internet. More so on the net. I go in expecting a flake out. Tickled if it turns out they aren't flaky. More than happy to HAVE a conversation.

B.) I think this is common is ALL forms of human,........ i.e. I don't think it to be any more or less common in beast community.

C.) I will flake on you as well, if you are rude, pushy, or otherwise annoying.

D.) Or, if it becomes apparent that I am the only party actually conversing. If I'm writing a paragraph and the other party is doing 3 or 4 word responses consistently, it's not really a conversation, it's me carrying the load by myself more or less. That means it's time for me to exit. The topic is irrelevant, great conversation can literally be about ANY topic, but, the minimum requirement for a good or even functional conversation is TWO people. Period. Full Stop.

E.) For some reason, talk went to when one person bails and the other refuses to acknowledge that fact and continues to message, at which point I said I would ignore that behavior up to a certain point. Once that point has arrived, I will respond and do so in a manner that makes it impossible for that person to still retain the idea that I wish to continue the "chat". It may be pointedly worded, it may be a complete flame. That would be based solely on the manner in which THAT person has conducted themselves.

F.) If it gets to that point, so be it. I'll make my point, and that's that. It's back to ignoring them, should they not get the "hint". MOST times, that will be that and it all ends there. If not, there is an ignore feature for this very reason. Time to use it.

G.) At NO POINT am I obligated to remain in a conversation of any type, good or bad. PERIOD. I have manners and courtesy, if I'm finished with a conversation, I WILL let you know in an appropriate manner if it actually was a 2 party conversation, if it wasn't that, see above.

H.) At NO POINT am I obligated to maintain YOUR illusion of any conversation (this is the part for people who don't seem to be aware, mentioned earlier in point E)

I.) I'm adding this point here to CLARIFY any misunderstanding remaining. If someone refuses to accept reality, that's NOT my problem. Nor is it a responsibility of mine to continue to be courteous to someone who is more or less harassing me, which is what it is when someone refuses to get the memo and continues to message you when it's been made clear that the conversation is now over. Understand too, that by harassing, I do NOT mean that person sent 1 or 2 messages past the point I considered the conversation over. I am speaking of continued unrelenting attempts. WELL past 1 or 2 times.

J.) I will talk to literally anyone. Further, I am an adult and I carry myself in an adult fashion. Chat CAN be about whatever, but, there ARE topics that I won't discus with certain people. For instance, I will not talk about man on man sex. I WILL talk to gay men, but not in a sexual manner. If that's your thing, that's great. It isn't mine and whoever is on the other end should respect that. By the same token, should I breach a subject the other party doesn't wish to speak about, it's on ME to respect that going forward. That's common courtesy and basic human respect.

K.) If the things I've said seem to be unreasonable, I don't know what to tell you. I guess we can agree to disagree.
 
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