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do you guys think it’s wrong of me to hide this lifestyle from my boyfriend?

dogbait said:
i’m not rly asking for actual advice but i’ve been thinking about this for a while and feel the need to talk about it!

i’ve been with my boyfriend for a while and i love him so much, i really wanna marry him in the future but i have to hide this side of me from him because he’s so, SOO against the idea of zoos. he says some nasty stuff about it a lot and has said so many times if he knew a zoo or was friends w one he’d report them to the police - and i’m just kind of sitting there pretending that i’m not a zoo in secret. i’ve never had any irl zoo experiences and i’m still trying to have one but having to hide it and sneak around my bf is exhausting, constantly erasing my porn history and only accessing this site thru incognito windows.

does that make me a bad person or am i just keeping myself safe?
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I think for better or worse we all hide tho gs from our partners spouses etc. I don't think most people could live with each other if we knew every secret of the partner.
 
AriesAngyl said:
Same with me. I date and have bfs, but I keep my lifestyle with shadow a super secret. I have never been able to be honest about it for fear of well…everything. I am not sure if it is because I am keeping it a secret and there is some effect, but I haven’t had any really long term relationships so it hasn’t been a big problem

If I do meet someone I think is amazing for me and a good fit, it would take a lot of trust and courage to be open about shadow
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Guess the hard parts done if I know about him lol ?
 
dogbait said:
i’m not rly asking for actual advice but i’ve been thinking about this for a while and feel the need to talk about it!

i’ve been with my boyfriend for a while and i love him so much, i really wanna marry him in the future but i have to hide this side of me from him because he’s so, SOO against the idea of zoos. he says some nasty stuff about it a lot and has said so many times if he knew a zoo or was friends w one he’d report them to the police - and i’m just kind of sitting there pretending that i’m not a zoo in secret. i’ve never had any irl zoo experiences and i’m still trying to have one but having to hide it and sneak around my bf is exhausting, constantly erasing my porn history and only accessing this site thru incognito windows.

does that make me a bad person or am i just keeping myself safe?
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You have to follow your heart. I wouldn’t give up love for another
 
You're just keeping yourself safe, I don't think you should feel bad at all. I do however want to express my sympathies, I'm really sorry that you have to hide who you are from someone you care about. Unfortunately that's just the way the world is at the moment though and I'm at least thankful that we are able to chat with like minded individuals here on zooville, its nice to have somewhere that we can be ourselves.
 
Consider: Everyone lies about sex. Its a given....Then remember this....If you know, as you seem to, that doggie sex is not leaving your life, then hiding it is not in your own best interest. But if you can't share that deep dark secret with your SO, youre going to have to make a choice. If you do marry, and somewhere down the road, you get caught, you'll regret it, and you could lose everything in your life at that point....divorce courts don't like to have to deal with this sort of thing, and outraged spouses fight hard for custody of kids if they think the other is a perv. If you can't give up the man, you'll eventually give up the critter OR the other way round.There is no easy way around what youre setting yourself up for. Its your call, of course, and your life to live....but why live it
walking on a wire?
 
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Put love aside and focus on what's more important for you. This is a serious situation as it can turn terribly wrong if he ever discovers you're active or into this lifestyle. If you cannot live without him, bury these feelings and move on with it as an old flame or desire.

If he figures it out, what do you think he will do? Become physical perhaps go public against you? He has already discussed his hatred towards it and has threatened the highest of fears to a zoo, the police
 
I don’t think it makes you a bad person at all. Everyone has their own kinks, and their partner may not be into them, and that’s okay. Liking zoo porn doesn’t make you a zoophile (at least, I don’t think it does), do you entertain any thoughts of actually giving it a try? It’s just my personal opinion, but I think any sexual contact outside of your relationship is cheating if your partner hasn’t given you the go-ahead, is that something you’re comfortable with doing? How important is this to you?
 
dogbait said:
i’m not rly asking for actual advice but i’ve been thinking about this for a while and feel the need to talk about it!

i’ve been with my boyfriend for a while and i love him so much, i really wanna marry him in the future but i have to hide this side of me from him because he’s so, SOO against the idea of zoos. he says some nasty stuff about it a lot and has said so many times if he knew a zoo or was friends w one he’d report them to the police - and i’m just kind of sitting there pretending that i’m not a zoo in secret. i’ve never had any irl zoo experiences and i’m still trying to have one but having to hide it and sneak around my bf is exhausting, constantly erasing my porn history and only accessing this site thru incognito windows.

does that make me a bad person or am i just keeping myself safe?
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I probably wouldn't bother hiding it from him chances are he'd like watching you tbh
 
being together with a person necessarily implies compromising. every person has limits. sometimes one's own limits are considered to be insurmountable. For example, I just can't seem to like the idea of having intimacy with another man. if my partner asked me, she would take a step beyond my limits. I should leave her. also because in addition to the non-acceptance of the thing itself, there would be the frustration of knowing that I would not live up to her expectations, of not being able to reconcile myself with an aspect of her personality. if you tell him about your secret you do him violence and seriously risk losing him forever. but, but ... think that sex with dogs literally disgusted me until a few years ago. yet here I am. and to be honest, for two days my brain has been in a loop on a thought: how can I start to establish an intimate relationship with “Molo” and “Pard” while respecting their emotionality? The hope is the last to die…meantime keep your secret in safe.
 
psychonaut said:
ik this is old but i so feel u T_T ive brought it up to my boyfriend as a "joke" and he told me people who fuck dogs are disgusting as fuck and they only do it because they can't get any action from other people so they resort to using animals... little does he know..
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That sounds frustrating it's like only humans knows how to fuck well some animals do fuck better in my opinion.
 
After reading about your situation i honestly feel very very lucky!
Many years ago, me and hubby bumped into zoo life by accident and viewing some zoo videos seemed strange BUT curious.
After some time we decided to try..........and we never stopped
 
Here is my observational opinion:
From those that I've seen that have tried to hide or deny a portion of their self in the interest of a human relationship, the majority end up unhappy with their situation.
Carefully evaluate the risk factor to yourself and/or animal companions before deciding.
If you are communicative and truthful, do so with the understanding that it may or may not be accepted, and you might have to move on.
One common responses is that the human partner feels jealousy and/or inadequacies due to the presence of the animal partner.
It's a case by case basis. But in general, long term happiness is what makes a successful relationship for all involved.
 
Personally, I couldn't be with a partner if I knew they would look at me like a monster if they found out, or worse my animals would be rehomed or killed... And our relationship would be built on a lie of omission.
 
People often stay in a dead end marriage or relationship because it's easier than starting over. I would know I was one of them for about a decade.

I can't tell you how to live your life. But I can say I've never been happier than I am now with my new partner who loves me no matter what and actually wants me to live this life. Because I'm me.

I hope my ex finds someone more compatible than I was. You just never know if you never try something different. , Yes I was in love and it hurt to leave . Couldn't afford not to though. You only get one life why knot spend it with your true match.
 
I'minterested2 said:
I think if he's this diametrically opposed, your marriage won't last. Either, you'll resent him for blocking your kinkiness, or him not allowing you to be your true self, or you'll have zoo experiences and he'll catch you or deduce that it happens. If you really like this guy, you need to get him on board, or break up with him. If you get divorced years later over zoo experiences, he is going to feel like he wasted years of life. Not trying to be mean, I'm speaking from years of experience being married.
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This exactly
 
dogbait said:
i’m not rly asking for actual advice but i’ve been thinking about this for a while and feel the need to talk about it!

i’ve been with my boyfriend for a while and i love him so much, i really wanna marry him in the future but i have to hide this side of me from him because he’s so, SOO against the idea of zoos. he says some nasty stuff about it a lot and has said so many times if he knew a zoo or was friends w one he’d report them to the police - and i’m just kind of sitting there pretending that i’m not a zoo in secret. i’ve never had any irl zoo experiences and i’m still trying to have one but having to hide it and sneak around my bf is exhausting, constantly erasing my porn history and only accessing this site thru incognito windows.

does that make me a bad person or am i just keeping myself safe?
Click to expand...
all i will say is, i have hid it from all of my exes and it always ended badly. So now im not hiding anymore and my next partner HAS to be zoo
 
I'd see his reaction to like furry porn, then feral furry porn or zoo hentai, like randomly browse around, and if he has a great reaction, then you can be like "do people do that irl" and then if he has a good reaction, then you can later on talk about "it seems interesting". As some have said, of he's not interested in it, and very opposed, then he can't know or love you fully for who you are. I'm lucky enough that not only is my bf interested in it, but has been involved with his old male pit. We've had plenty of times before his pit passed, where he has gotten sloppy seconds after his pit, and he loved it, because it made my insides warmer.
 
psychonaut said:
ik this is old but i so feel u T_T ive brought it up to my boyfriend as a "joke" and he told me people who fuck dogs are disgusting as fuck and they only do it because they can't get any action from other people so they resort to using animals... little does he know..
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yup, that guy is a moron "only do it because" hah
 
If I couldn't tell all about myself, then I wouldn't fully trust, and not trusting, couldn't love romantically. A person who doesn't accept whoever you are is not worth it.

So my suggestion is Tell It! The way he reacts will tell you whether you want to become his mate or not. He's not cool with it? Dump him!
 
Personally i make sure they know im a Zoo if I'm starting to consider them partner material. If you want a relationship that works in the longterm ya have to be open and honest with each other.
 
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