Unfortunately there are a lot of men who are not respectful of a woman’s wishes to not engage with them sexually. While I understand the desire to want to be an active participant, being an owner does not guarantee you that right. Ultimately the woman has the right to choose who her sexual partners, and she should be free to do so without coercion.
There are plenty of owners out there who are good, respectful people. They may be harder to find, but there are plenty out there. Don’t get discouraged, but be cautious when discussing plans with an owner. You’ll find what you’re looking for eventually.
Of equal importance is that finding an owner, any owner, doesn't give anyone guaranteed access. Of equal lack of respect is the concept that anyone can use an owners animal as a sex toy. It's a 2 way street.
You want milk from a store, just because they have it doesn't mean you can have it. The understanding is that the milk has a price, if you don't feel the milk is worth the asking price, you look elsewhere for the milk.
It works both ways, prices vary. Everyone is free to look until they attain a price they are ok paying.
While I don't really disagree with anything you said, I do strongly disagree with the way you chose to frame it. It has exactly nothing to do with any lack of respect for a woman's wishes. You talk about it before you set it up, she knows what is or isn't required before she agrees to meet. If she chooses to proceed, with something she disagrees with, who's fault is that? If she chooses not to proceed, that's also perfectly fine.
The characterization that an owner's requirement for sexual interaction with their animal be that they are also involved is somehow disrespectful is dishonest at best and pandering at worst. How disrepectful is it for you, or anyone else, to imply that my ownership of an animal somehow entitles random people to sexual access on whatever terms they deem acceptable?
At the end of the day, it's always going to be a negotiation, you like the terms or you don't. If you like the terms, you proceed, if you don't, you look elsewhere.
It's not as hard as many people make it. It's also not nearly as easy as many people come into it believing. Most people, on BOTH sides really need to adjust their expectations to reality, something quite a few members of this site are clearly not very in touch with.
Talk to people, talk to many different people. Base your actions on reality, and the includes the reality of what type of person you are talking to. There are some very responsible owners on this site, and there are some very responsible seekers here as well. But, like any other place on the internet, there are also quite a few careless and irresponsible people. Those fall on both sides of the equation as well, and those people are as dangerous to themselves as they are other people. I would suggest anyone seeking either side of the equation pull their head out of their ass and pay very close attention to who they are dealing with and what those people are saying. Like anything else in life, you get out of it what you put into it. You put honest effort in, you'll have better results, if you put in trash, you'll get trash out.
Above all, at the end of the day, it's YOUR ass at risk, if you're smart, you'll keep that in mind all through the process. Because it's you who pays the price when things go south.