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Dealing with feeling lost as a zoo

TheZetaMeta

TheZetaMeta

Tourist
Hey, new here and very grateful I found this site lol…

I myself am a zoo-exclusive and always have been, however because of my sexuality I feel incredibly lonely, lost, and not worthy of being a human being… it really sucks and I want to love my sexuality but at times is really hard…

Any advice?
 
Make friends. I'm also an exclusive as are many others and it's a common problem. Most of us, exclusive or not, have to hide certain facts from those around us, but I feel that exclusives are often hit harder by it. It really helps to sit down and be social with other zoos, but that's often not an option, so you need to socialize with others who share some of your other interests.
I fill some of my social needs with kennel club stuff, some with other hobby groups. Find things in your area that are interesting and engage.

Keep the zoo stuff here and just be a normal human being in your day to day life.
 
egoldstein said:
Make friends. I'm also an exclusive as are many others and it's a common problem. Most of us, exclusive or not, have to hide certain facts from those around us, but I feel that exclusives are often hit harder by it. It really helps to sit down and be social with other zoos, but that's often not an option, so you need to socialize with others who share some of your other interests.
I fill some of my social needs with kennel club stuff, some with other hobby groups. Find things in your area that are interesting and engage.

Keep the oo stuff here and just be a normal human being in your day to day life.
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Exactly, you are far more than your sexuality.
 
Yea, I also find the shit that happens to people like me extremely heartbreaking…
I struggle accepting people like me well- struggle to be accepted…
 
TheZetaMeta said:
Yea, I also find the shit that happens to people like me extremely heartbreaking…
I struggle accepting people like me well- struggle to be accepted…
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It's not just us, most of these feelings are just typical human feelings but they can get amplified when you're in a group that is marginalized.
 
egoldstein said:
It's not just us, most of these feelings are just typical human feelings but they can get amplified when you're in a group that is marginalized.
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Yea, I do genuinely wish I could start accepting and actually liking my sexuality, but struggle to do so..
Any advice?
 
TheZetaMeta said:
Any advice?
Click to expand...
This is individual. But I have an actual book which is about 127 pages long and took me years to write which contains my entire zoo history, thoughts and issues. And working on this, reading it over and over again and reworking it and forcing yourself to reevaluate your own mind did help me to come to terms with who I am.
 
pes said:
This is individual. But I have an actual book which is about 127 pages long and took me years to write which contains my entire zoo history, thoughts and issues. And working on this, reading it over and over again and reworking it and forcing yourself to reevaluate your own mind did help me to come to terms with who I am.
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Yea, mine would be nowhere near as long, but putting my thoughts onto paper sounds like an amazing idea..

I actually have one very good zoo friend who has really helped me a ton with feeling better with who I am. unfortunately though they live in Wyoming meanwhile I am in New Zealand…
 
TheZetaMeta said:
Yea, I do genuinely wish I could start accepting and actually liking my sexuality, but struggle to do so..
Any advice?
Click to expand...

I'd start with thinking about it.
Serious questions; if noone is harmed, all are adults, willing participants, and they share a mutually pleasurable experience, what is there to feel bad about?
I feel it has more to do with overcoming the social rejection that gets pounded into us than anything else.
 
TheZetaMeta said:
I am unable to accept myself because I feel hated and unworthy, put bluntly
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As long as you being zoo does not come up in public. As far as you are concerned, you are a regular nobody. Not hated or worth more or less than anyone else.
 
Gunslinger1X said:
Who cares?
Seriously, does the opinion of people who have NO bearing on you or your life mean anything?
Simple answer is no.

If they don't feed you, fuck you or pay your bills then what they THINK don't mean shit
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Kek, maybe I use social media too much…

Will take this advice to heart
 
TheZetaMeta said:
I have to ask, would seeing a therapist be a good/terrible idea?
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It works for many, but you have to be selective about the therapist. Some don't follow the standards and still see it as a negative.
If you follow up with it and the therapist is unsupportive, find another that you are comfortable with.


TheZetaMeta said:
Yea lol, annoying that you have to be so uptight with where your info regarding yourself is.

Only takes one leaked file and your own, and partner(s) life is pretty much over…
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It's not always as dire as it seems, I've largely been out for decades. I'm not recommending that as everyone's situaton is different, but the biggest power that stuff has is in the ability to shut you down. It's best to try and stay out of the limelight, but if you get found out it's not usually a life ending situation.
 
egoldstein said:
It works for many, but you have to be selective about the therapist. Some don't follow the standards and still see it as a negative.
If you follow up with it and the therapist is unsupportive, find another that you are comfortable with.




It's not always as dire as it seems, I've largely been out for decades. I'm not recommending that as everyone's situaton is different, but the biggest power that stuff has is in the ability to shut you down. It's best to try and stay out of the limelight, but if you get found out it's not usually a life ending situation.
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I don’t really care about myself really, I am most concerned what would happen to my partner (in specific, would be a mare, don’t have one currently)
 
TheZetaMeta said:
I don’t really care about myself really, I am most concerned what would happen to my partner (in specific, would be a mare, don’t have one currently)
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You need to fix that first issue.
Lack of self esteem is probably the root of the problems you've described
 
Gunslinger1X said:
People these days are so concerned with others accepting them that they forget that they have to accept themselves first
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Completely agree with you there! Once I really put the time and effort in being alone with myself and going to do things that *I* enjoy for nothing else, other than my own enjoyment could I love others. My relationship with my animals is so much better now too.
 
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