Cheating, frowned upon or DONT DO IT?

[jellybean56]

@jellybean56 There are certain habits, in western culture, that I cannot help reacting to. My particular perspective makes some of the views that are normalized, in western culture, look bizarre and otherworldly. It is not really possible for me to convey an understanding of how some of these norms look to me, from a partly external perspective. When you were writing that, you could not have possibly been aware of how I, as an alien observer, would receive it. You are not really obligated to predict how someone from my own particular background sees things that are normal to you. It was mean-spirited and catty for me to poke fun at you based on the assumption that you could have reasonably been expected to know how I would receive it.

I therefore apologize for not being more courteous and sensitive toward you, and I promise that I will exercise better theory of mind in the future.

There is a thing called 'context'. This author's post is of Western origin, therefore it requires a response in Western social standards.

 

[SigmaTheZeta]

There is a thing called 'context'. This author's post is of Western origin, therefore it requires a response in Western social standards.

I am just gay.

We actually have a variety of views on cheating, but historical exclusion from the western value system has been a contributor to many of us not caring a rat's ass about it. Some gay couples are actually openly polyamorous, and my husband and I have two friends that live together and generally like each other but no longer have sex except with other people. Some couples have rules that go something like, "Don't cheat, but if you do, use a condom." Some are indeed truly monogamous but only because they want to be: they had plenty of alternatives that were more exciting, so they tend to have very little question about each others' fidelity. Furthermore, we are substantially less likely to believe we are obligated to get married, to begin with: we tend to marry older if we do at all, so by the time we do, we are more mature and less impulsive. It leads to us being very well-adjusted.

So mainstream western culture is just something that I see on television. I am sure that it is somewhat exaggerated and silly.

 

[Dogwatcher]

It would be cheating yes, and btw women sense when stuff is off and they're brilliant investigators and chances are she will find out. I would advise staying away and not doing it, but on the other hand I do think your wife should be open minded to at the very least try it for you just once as its such a big thing for you. If it was just you and a dog, then I don't think its cheating, its fine, if its you, a girl and a dog, then thats cheating in my opinion and I don't think you should do it, if your marriage and sex life is as good as you say it is, don't risk it.

Thank you for the advise and that's all I'm looking for. I hate for anyone to think I'm putting my personal issues out there for recognition. This forum has honestly been my only "social media" attempt. So just looking to see if others with a similar situation had any success with their partner over time or if they had something on the side and how if it was worth it. Granted who i am and who my partner is, may not have a similar outcome as others. Either way I don't want anyone getting hurt so definitely can't be selfish in this situation. Again thank you for sharing your input. Most appreciated.

 

[ILoveZooGirlsXXX]

So I'm not trying to convince myself, but I would like some feedback. So 36/m married and partner is not interested in zoo or k9 or anything. I'm not complaining about the sex, that's awesome, but of course my quest for anything k9 would have to be with another person. Marriage is great wouldn't change a thing and I would never push her to be uncomfortable or leave her because of just that one thing. So if I intend on pursuing my k9 fantasy with another person and not lying to that person about my relationship status, would that be cheating, frowned upon or just stay away and don't do it. Look forward to responses.

I've been in your situation before and I will say only you can make that decision. When I'm in a relationship I personally don't believe in lying to my partner, so when I'm with a non zoo I have stepped back from zoo as I know it would have ruined the relationship.
Hiding it and lying about it really becomes a choice of your own personal convictions. If you feel it's OK then you should proceed as you wish.
I will admit that there are times that I thought about it, and it's tough to not find an excuse why this one time won't be a problem.