Am I the only one irritated by this

[nomad4perras]

So I've been involved with animals for a long time, and I been a member of a couple different forums/websites through my life.
It seems like every website I've been on, 90% of people are just looking to find an owner and hookup, while 10% are actually looking for a legitimate group of friends.
I understand that because of the nature of this society, just to have someone who shares the same interests is an amazing thing in and of itself, but it shouldn't be the foundation of an entire friendship/relationship. I have made comments on other posts in the past stating the same thing. I'd like to find a group of friends that I can hang out with on a regular basis that I share more than one facet of life with.
I'm not sure if it's a community wide thing or if I'm coming out of left field here, but I just want to meet some good people to talk to. This whole aspect of our interests is just a bonus, not a focus.

I understand your point. In fact I can understand this from both angles. However most guys I have found are not even zoo. Rather are watchers or just here to find women. I actually have a hard time finding a solid set of people to discuss further about this topic. I find people today are microwave friends. They want to get off and leave. I don't want a large group of zoo buddies where im at its not safe in the USA. But when im here. this is my "zoo crew"

 

[Justforme]

I understand your point. In fact I can understand this from both angles. However most guys I have found are not even zoo. Rather are watchers or just here to find women. I actually have a hard time finding a solid set of people to discuss further about this topic. I find people today are microwave friends. They want to get off and leave. I don't want a large group of zoo buddies where im at its not safe in the USA. But when im here. this is my "zoo crew"

Yeah it is crazy the shit going on here. I look around and see all the stuff that is acceptable and then there are people like us and we are ostracized. I wish that it wasn't this way, but sadly I don't think this particular aspect of humanity will ever be socially acceptable.
I also see the aspect you're referring to when you talk about most guys just wanting to watch, nut, and leave. It really upsets me because if that's the case, then watch some porn and move on. Don't dilute the community with that bs.

 

[Panda Chen]

There are people who want to find friends or are willing to be friends but there are a lot of obstacles.
One is the ones usually worth knowing take a long time to get to know. They are cautious and want to not get burned.
Trust is a must and that too takes time.
Then there is the fact that a fair amount of those who are zoos are not necessarily great at being social with other humans.
Then you both may be good people but not have many common interests.
That is where you end up with the how are you doing thing. Which doesn't mean someone doesn't care just may not know what to say. I personally am not the best at leading conversations.
Also life contributes to this as most have jobs and things that need doing.
Then you have to be careful about what you talk about. There may be aspects about life of work that if you put out there can make it easier to find you.
It is difficult to maintain friendships in real life without restrictions of personal info and anonymity. Yet alone here.
Also part of why the sex becomes the main topic. It is safe here. It is information that if you are here it is presumed you know and don't have to hide. Where as being a veterinarian in a small town really shouldn't be told.
.
So basically you have to hit the perfect equation of properties that make a compatible friend to you and put in the time , sometimes years, to earn trust between both of you and if you are wanting to meet in person be close enough to do so.
In real life I know plenty of people that are nice enough people but aren't what I would consider friends.
It is not impossible but both parties have to see value in putting effort into it.

 

[Justforme]

There are people who want to find friends or are willing to be friends but there are a lot of obstacles.
One is the ones usually worth knowing take a long time to get to know. They are cautious and want to not get burned.
Trust is a must and that too takes time.
Then there is the fact that a fair amount of those who are zoos are not necessarily great at being social with other humans.
Then you both may be good people but not have many common interests.
That is where you end up with the how are you doing thing. Which doesn't mean someone doesn't care just may not know what to say. I personally am not the best at leading conversations.
Also life contributes to this as most have jobs and things that need doing.
Then you have to be careful about what you talk about. There may be aspects about life of work that if you put out there can make it easier to find you.
It is difficult to maintain friendships in real life without restrictions of personal info and anonymity. Yet alone here.
Also part of why the sex becomes the main topic. It is safe here. It is information that if you are here it is presumed you know and don't have to hide. Where as being a veterinarian in a small town really shouldn't be told.
.
So basically you have to hit the perfect equation of properties that make a compatible friend to you and put in the time , sometimes years, to earn trust between both of you and if you are wanting to meet in person be close enough to do so.
In real life I know plenty of people that are nice enough people but aren't what I would consider friends.
It is not impossible but both parties have to see value in putting effort into it.

That was a very eloquent response and I feel probably encapsulates the largest issues facing the community.
Doesn't make it suck any less, but it does feel nice to be understood at least.

 

[allyfitz]

It seems like every website I've been on, 90% of people are just looking to find an owner and hookup, while 10% are actually looking for a legitimate group of friends.
I understand that because of the nature of this society, just to have someone who shares the same interests is an amazing thing in and of itself, but it shouldn't be the foundation of an entire friendship/relationship. I have made comments on other posts in the past stating the same thing. I'd like to find a group of friends that I can hang out with on a regular basis that I share more than one facet of life with.

Yea... I've noticed that, but that's just the internet. People are driven by their basal urges... and sex is one of the big ones. And when they have the anonymity of the internet... they know how they act wont affect them in the real life... hence why people will say things online that they'd never say to another person in the real world. So that extends to behavior in general.
You'll just need to put in the effort to prune who you talk to until you find a group of people who are willing to be internet friends and have deeper real discussions. It can happen. I've been blessed to find a handful of people here that I genuinely feel friendly affection towards.

 

[RandomEquine]

That is how it’s been for as long as I’ve been a part of the “zoo community”. It’s just the unfortunate nature of the beast in these circles. It’s always nice and refreshing running into folks who are actually looking to make friends rather than hook up.