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I Praise and Applaud this Fervently ?
I agree that there is sometimes a fine line as to what constitutes "abuse" and I also agree that what someone may consider abuse may not be to someone elses idealization.
If I may, I would like to throw some input out on here and perhaps it will be adopted as part of this rule as well as being thought provoking to those who may not see some acts or situations as abusive.
There was a time in my life where my "sexuality and preferences" came into question. Although many consider the entire thought of being Bestial or Zoo and the further idea that there are those who have and even prefer romantttic and deep sexual relations with other species, here is the one question that came up and subsequently "got me off" ( no pun intended, lol ).
Q: Was my partner in the act being harmed, malnourished or mistreated in any way, including being restrained in such a way that she couldn't get away had she desired?
The short and simple -- NO, she was not in harm's way nor mistreated in any way by any means.
Therefore, due to my understanding of True Real Love and due to the fact that Many species can reciprocate that same type of love and still, many species can initiate, encourage, and consent to intimacy... a loving heart and Common Sense were the best defense from the beginning.
Love, Passion, and Intimacy require a level of emotion and feeling that goes deeper than just simple touch or immediate gratification. Sure, in the human world, there are "kinks" such as sadism, masochism, object fetish, and so on, but... Kins are just what they are and do require a form of consent that - in general - four footed beings simply do not know and therefore do not incorporate into their lives.
So, here is my list of "Please Don't s" in order to not only show your mate you love them, but it also shows - without a doubt - that love and sexual relationships Can and Do exist between humans and other species and don't require "training", "aids (peanut butter, grain, etc.)", and can be of mutual consent.
I personally (and in the legal eye as well) consider most if bot all the following, forms of abuse ... (weird thing though, the legal field attempts to call the sexual act abuse, lol - but if you can prove there was No Harm Done, you can further prove Our sex is the same sex in All Mammals).
1. Tying, Hobbling, etc. - For Heavens Sake and for your mate - Restraing them in a way that they cannot move away from your advances is akin to "rape". Although a leash or rein is ok just for public safety and to be led around... Please, don't tie them in a way that they cant "say no".
2. Enticement - food or treats should only be used because you love them and want them to have a gift they like. Treats can also be used as rewards, but ... using treats or enticing things to "Make them stand, lick, etc.", can be considered an abuse - except in way of purely oral sex - providing you can prove oral sex would be performed in lieu of a treat.
3. Withholding food or water for Any reason.
4. Using an object such as a dildo or "stretching" aid or using objects that can bring pain or harm... No, No, No.
5. Inflicting Pain, drawing blood, displays of anger, rage, or yelling to intimidate or otherwise frighten into submission - Big No No
6. Drugging - Have you ever heard of Date Rape? Then Don't Do It.
So... I am guessing there could be many more things that "could be" considered abuse but.... As I was told by both a psychologist and lawyer... As long as she (my partner) was of legal age, of size and weight to be able to comfortably withstand sexual acts, and was not tied up or restrained. As long as she was displaying consent by accepting the act and - upon my advances - did not bite at me, kick at me, or otherwise try to get away. And as long as she was in good care and health and I could present a veterinary clean bill of health (which also had to show testing for STDs and Zoonotic STD tests), and as long as my partner was "legally of sexually mature age" ... ......
Well, they had no choice but to dismiss everything.