Why is it so hard to make new friends?

[Okami]

I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong or what it is, but it is extremely difficult for me to make friends on here. I’ve gotten so many messages from people who say they want to make new friends and build strong connections. And I’m always open to meeting new people chatting. I love getting to know new people. The only time I have ever turned down someone was when they asked to borrow my dog or otherwise only showed interest in my dogs.

But every single person does the exact same thing. They either never respond(after messaging me first), respond a few times and then ghost, or by far the most common thing, they only respond in short 1-2 word responses and are completely disinterested in the conversation. And this is after they messaged me first stating that they were “looking to meet like minded individuals” or something similar to that effect.

For example, anytime I ask this one person (who shall remain nameless) about their day, weekend, job, whatever it may be, I get the same response everytime...”mostly ok.” And that’s it. The conversation never goes anywhere from there. I asked them if I was bothering them or if they didn’t want to talk to me. The said no you’re totally fine. But they never message me, and only respond with 1 word responses.

Maybe I’m just overthinking but 95% of the conversations I have are ridiculously one sided and it’s fucking exhausting. Why should I put in all the effort to keep a conversation going with someone(who wanted to talk to me first) when I can’t even get a full sentence out of them?

Not to mention all the people I get asking to fuck my dogs, do you have any pics/videos, can I come get fucked by your dog, blah blah blah. It’s all the same. I see so many of you on here talking about the amazing friendships and memories you’ve made with people on here and I want that but it doesn’t seem to be possible for me. Am I crazy?

 

[Deleted member 76481]

Finding friends is hard for some people, and with excluding all those wankers, picture hunters, and dog borrowers, you are left with not that many people. There are people I know online and I consider friends, even close ones. But when chatting with them on daily basis I find it really hard to keep the conversation interesting, not routinne. And I struggle with that quite a lot, thinking of new topics you can talk about is getting hard, and unless you share some passion or hobby it's almost unrealistic. At point of continuous conversation for weeks or months I can't really blame anyone for answers getting briefer.
Not forcing the conversation and replaying less often might do the trick, more interesting things to talk about might gather over few days. It usually works for me, my life is just not that interesting to make small talk all the time...
Hopefully you'll be able to figure things out, or find friends closer to you. Wishing you all the luck with that.

 

[Ookami]

Well, this is a forum and in my opinion not as good to keep connected. It's more focused on discussion threads. Maybe you'd be more happy in the chat, where I do chat regularly with some people while I rarely have anything going on here. I'm sure the people who stop writing back don't do it because they don't like you, maybe they just don't think they've got anything interesting to say at that point and don't think of you in particular when they do. Also the best memories usually are of meeting others in person as you get to do stuff together like eat or collectively stare at random dogs or practice sword-fighting or get humped by dogs/hump them XD Or meet acquaintances of other zoos - like was visiting another zoo and he had another guest - ended up in him making an encrypted persistent kali linux stick while I sat there doing other stuff and dictated commands to him and explained some stuff XD
Anyway - don't always think you're bothering others - most likely that isn't so.

 

[Okami]

Well, this is a forum and in my opinion not as good to keep connected. It's more focused on discussion threads. Maybe you'd be more happy in the chat, where I do chat regularly with some people while I rarely have anything going on here. I'm sure the people who stop writing back don't do it because they don't like you, maybe they just don't think they've got anything interesting to say at that point and don't think of you in particular when they do. Also the best memories usually are of meeting others in person as you get to do stuff together like eat or collectively stare at random dogs or practice sword-fighting or get humped by dogs/hump them XD Or meet acquaintances of other zoos - like was visiting another zoo and he had another guest - ended up in him making an encrypted persistent kali linux stick while I sat there doing other stuff and dictated commands to him and explained some stuff XD
Anyway - don't always think you're bothering others - most likely that isn't so.

You had me totally confused for a minute because I thought I replied to myself lol. Hello other Okami lol.

Anyway, yeah I totally agree with you on the in person part. There is 1 single person that I’ve met up with a few times. He’s cool, we’re into a lot of the same stuff. But there’s 2 problems with meet ups. 1. Im not taking the risk of meeting someone until I really get to know them and that doesn’t happen when every conversation goes nowhere. And the second problem is anytime I have ever mentioned meeting up, they either assume they’re gonna fuck me or my dog. No matter how many times I say I’m not interested in getting fucked and I don’t share my dogs with people I barely know, it never get through their head. I just want to hang out and chill, maybe go do something fun. If we get close and something happens down the line, so be it. But I don’t want the entire friendship to be built on then foundation that they’re gonna fuck my dog(or me.)

 

[dartel]

To quote Jerry Seinfeld:

When you're in your thirties it's very hard to make a new friend. Whatever the group is that you've got now that's who you're going with. you're not interviewing, you're not looking at any new people, you're not interested in seeing any applications. They don't know the places. They don't know the food. They don't know the activities, If I meet a guy in a club on the gym or someplace I'm sure you're a very nice person you seem to have a lot of potential, but we're just not hiring right now.

Of course when you're a kid, you can be friends with anybody. Remember when you were a little kid what were the qualifications? If someone's in front of my house NOW, That's my friend, they're my friend. That's it. Are you a grown up.? No. Great! Come on in. Jump up and down on my bed. And if you have anything in common at all, You like Cherry Soda? I like Cherry Soda! We'll be best friends!

 

[Okami]

Finding friends is hard for some people, and with excluding all those wankers, picture hunters, and dog borrowers, you are left with not that many people. There are people I know online and I consider friends, even close ones. But when chatting with them on daily basis I find it really hard to keep the conversation interesting, not routinne. And I struggle with that quite a lot, thinking of new topics you can talk about is getting hard, and unless you share some passion or hobby it's almost unrealistic. At point of continuous conversation for weeks or months I can't really blame anyone for answers getting briefer.
Not forcing the conversation and replaying less often might do the trick, more interesting things to talk about might gather over few days. It usually works for me, my life is just not that interesting to make small talk all the time...
Hopefully you'll be able to figure things out, or find friends closer to you. Wishing you all the luck with that.

I try to avoid forcing conversations as much as possible. I tend to overthink everything and if I notice they don’t seem interested of I’m being a bother, I stop. If I was the one to message them saying all these things about making friends and all that, and they weren’t interested, I would stop. But it’s the other way around. They message me first. I try to keep the conversation going and as interesting as possible. But it always fizzles. I mean, would it be frustrating if I replied to you and only said “Maybe” or “OK?” You type out this big long response and I simply say “OK.” That’s what it feels like.

 

[Pillar]

I try to avoid forcing conversations as much as possible. I tend to overthink everything and if I notice they don’t seem interested of I’m being a bother, I stop. If I was the one to message them saying all these things about making friends and all that, and they weren’t interested, I would stop. But it’s the other way around. They message me first. I try to keep the conversation going and as interesting as possible. But it always fizzles. I mean, would it be frustrating if I replied to you and only said “Maybe” or “OK?” You type out this big long response and I simply say “OK.” That’s what it feels like.

OK

 

[jumba]

Join forums with other areas of interest as the topic. You'll find more genuine people when your other interests overlap, too. I know it's not that easy, but the more overlap you have with interest, the more likely you are to find someone that overlap with personality and values.

 

[comb]

I've been trying to do the same thing as well, although making posts and replying to others help out a bit with that feeling!

 

[Jewelry Fish]

As someone who’s one of the people you talk about (On and off the forum) for me I guess it’s just I don’t feel the need to keep talking and talking, if that makes sense. It’s not meant to be rude or cold, it’s just how I am. I like things to progress naturally as I bump into people. Having long, deep conversations is draining. I’d rather just keep things short and sweet, and let things flow from there. I don’t want to feel obligated to keep responding back with every new message, and I don’t want to feel like I always have to have something to say. That’s just dull.

Honestly, going straight to PMs is the worst way to make good, committed friendships in my opinion. You should get to know each other naturally, and then go into private messaging. I’ve made some pretty good friends here, and for a majority of them, I never felt the need to message them in private. We just hang out and get to know each other slowly. And that’s a sweet feeling.

So don’t rush things, man. Take things slow and steady. Try and get more active in the forum. As you participate, you’ll meet more regulars. Those are the kinds of users you’ll eventually bond with.



(Also, this forum is highly porn-driven in all honesty, so this probably isn’t the best place for private conversation/friend-making, lol.)

 

[Reconscope]

I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong or what it is, but it is extremely difficult for me to make friends on here. I’ve gotten so many messages from people who say they want to make new friends and build strong connections. And I’m always open to meeting new people chatting. I love getting to know new people. The only time I have ever turned down someone was when they asked to borrow my dog or otherwise only showed interest in my dogs.

But every single person does the exact same thing. They either never respond(after messaging me first), respond a few times and then ghost, or by far the most common thing, they only respond in short 1-2 word responses and are completely disinterested in the conversation. And this is after they messaged me first stating that they were “looking to meet like minded individuals” or something similar to that effect.

For example, anytime I ask this one person (who shall remain nameless) about their day, weekend, job, whatever it may be, I get the same response everytime...”mostly ok.” And that’s it. The conversation never goes anywhere from there. I asked them if I was bothering them or if they didn’t want to talk to me. The said no you’re totally fine. But they never message me, and only respond with 1 word responses.

Maybe I’m just overthinking but 95% of the conversations I have are ridiculously one sided and it’s fucking exhausting. Why should I put in all the effort to keep a conversation going with someone(who wanted to talk to me first) when I can’t even get a full sentence out of them?

Not to mention all the people I get asking to fuck my dogs, do you have any pics/videos, can I come get fucked by your dog, blah blah blah. It’s all the same. I see so many of you on here talking about the amazing friendships and memories you’ve made with people on here and I want that but it doesn’t seem to be possible for me. Am I crazy?

Imo im open to chat if you want.

 

[open_to_anything]

I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong or what it is, but it is extremely difficult for me to make friends on here. I’ve gotten so many messages from people who say they want to make new friends and build strong connections. And I’m always open to meeting new people chatting. I love getting to know new people. The only time I have ever turned down someone was when they asked to borrow my dog or otherwise only showed interest in my dogs.

But every single person does the exact same thing. They either never respond(after messaging me first), respond a few times and then ghost, or by far the most common thing, they only respond in short 1-2 word responses and are completely disinterested in the conversation. And this is after they messaged me first stating that they were “looking to meet like minded individuals” or something similar to that effect.

For example, anytime I ask this one person (who shall remain nameless) about their day, weekend, job, whatever it may be, I get the same response everytime...”mostly ok.” And that’s it. The conversation never goes anywhere from there. I asked them if I was bothering them or if they didn’t want to talk to me. The said no you’re totally fine. But they never message me, and only respond with 1 word responses.

Maybe I’m just overthinking but 95% of the conversations I have are ridiculously one sided and it’s fucking exhausting. Why should I put in all the effort to keep a conversation going with someone(who wanted to talk to me first) when I can’t even get a full sentence out of them?

Not to mention all the people I get asking to fuck my dogs, do you have any pics/videos, can I come get fucked by your dog, blah blah blah. It’s all the same. I see so many of you on here talking about the amazing friendships and memories you’ve made with people on here and I want that but it doesn’t seem to be possible for me. Am I crazy?

yeah its difficult i think its because a lot of people see it as just a porn site rather than a meeting place, for me i love getting to know someone but it has to be leading somewhere ie meeting and possibly dating

 

[nekdoneco123]

feels like making friends is nearly impossible when you're an adult in general... not just here. then again, i can see most ppl here losing interest when they find out you're not their preferred gender and/or are not interested in doing a private show for them. just really an observation on my part as i'm not really trying to seek new friends here. i got my share of "HI!"s i responded to and nothing else happened and i just left them at that, i can't do small talk for the life of me.... aaaand i forgot where i was going with this.

 

[Michioliphant]

The key is total honesty. NOT an easy thing to fulfill. That and be willing to help move dead bodies without a ton of IF, BUTS, MAYBE, POSSIBLY conditions.
?

 

[Pillar]

The key is total honesty. NOT an easy thing to fulfill. That and be willing to help move dead bodies without a ton of IF, BUTS, MAYBE, POSSIBLY conditions.
?

But, if there's conditions, then it's possibly suspect... Maybe if I know for sure it's legitimate. ?

 

[stretch]

Most of us are here for a reason. To communicate with like minded people. No different
than a chat line for car clubs or facebook,
My issue is with some members are only here for porn. It takes a few emails to weed them out.
Some of the one word responses could be from active and practicing members being extremely cautious.
Trust needs to be earned.

 

[FlareFanatic]

For me naturally I love chatting with new people but i have a tolerance limit and once that bar gets too high I get annoyed and start shutting down, ignoring messages or leaving one to two word replies. The people who get this treatment are the ones who are wanting to be fake friends or 2 replies into chatting want to know every detail about my sex life. I have no problem stating that I live with a good friends who is also zoo and he has 2 great dogs who are active. He doesnt mind me being open about it, if i meet cool local people who are down to hang out, bbq, go hiking and other outings then my roomate gets to meet new people as well. But its becoming pretty common for people to want to be "friends" and a few messages later start asking me how likely is it for my friend to share his dogs with them or want to know every detail about my sex life. I dont care if your male, female, gay, straight, a couple, 20 years old or 50. Im a very easy person to chat with but your not going to use me that easily to fulfill your animal sex fantasies.

But yall got to admit it sometimes can be fun to troll when you know they are just chatting with you to get their rocks off and you wont give them that satisfaction. I enjoy when they ask for pics and ill get on paint and draw a really shitty stick figure pic of a guy and a dog or 3===D~~ (Y) and they all pissy and never message again.

 

[stretch]

I don't think people that go to AA meetings want to talk about how much they drank. They are there for social support. The talk
is usually about hobbies, fishing, the weekend football game or whatever.

So why do some of the trolls on here want to talk about sexually preferences and activities. I just want to chat about
life in general. Not what I have poked or poking now. NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. I will open up, if I want. Maybe!

 

[itdoesnotmatter]

I don't think this is a place to make friends. Don't forget that most people here are zoos and zoo stuff is what they are here for. Most ppl are not here to make friends, but to share some zoo related experience, learn something about a specific animal and/or breed, share something about their zoo lifestyle and read an experience about a fellow zoo person/find and share zoo porn.

On top of that there are non-zoo people that just enjoy watching females get fucked by dogs, lots of trolls and lots of people that just PM others to try their chances to get any pic/video or to ask if they can fuck your dog/horse, both of which is just ridiculous. And to top it all off there are a few retards here and there who are anti zoos and just want to expose somebody from our community to make his/her life a nightmare.

So there are some reasons for you, and there are many more.
Maybe I'm old fashioned but I always preferred my relationships and friendships to start and be developed IRL, and I'm 26.

 

[PonyLove]

A long time ago when I would try to meet others, finding someone close was key. But that was back in Southern Calif during the 70's, so everything was possible.

But this is a zoophilia site, and that is what people are interested in. And when you separate out the haves from the have nots, your chances of finding someone shrinks. You just may have to eventually share your animals if you want to meet others. But I would not make it a deal breaker. I'd say after we become friends and comfortable, it may be a possibility.

Check the personals out. A lot there.

 

[Ruben]

You just may have to eventually share your animals if you want to meet others.

You definitely don't have to share animals to make friends. Do non-zoos tend to share their spouses to make and keep friends? They don't.

Someone insinuating that you have to share your animals to meet would be a red flag for me. They are probably not interested in a genuine friendship in the first place.

 

[Labraguy5]

I think the best people you'll meet on here are by chance, like posting on the same topic and having similar interests, zoo or not. I've made a few cool friends from this forum, although non are locals and we talk more about hobbies and day to day stuff and zoo just pops in and out of the conversation. If you stick to locals or the Personals section, most are just going to try "befriend" you for hook ups or porn, I personally don't post there for that reason. And it's easy enough on here to look at someone's posting history if they message you, if you don't get a good feel for them you don't have to respond.

You just may have to eventually share your animals if you want to meet others.

If this is someone's requirement to be friends, then I've lost all interest

 

[Ookami]

I'd never promise anyone to have sex with an animal - as it should be the animals choice anyway. But animals aren't usually monogamous

 

[PonyLove]

You definitely don't have to share animals to make friends. Do non-zoos tend to share their spouses to make and keep friends? They don't.

Someone insinuating that you have to share your animals to meet would be a red flag for me. They are probably not interested in a genuine friendship in the first place.

There are plenty of non-zoo web sites that one can go to to find a friend.

If I was to join a couples swinging website and had a meet up with a couple, the expectations are evident. If I meet someone on a coin collectors club website, the interest would be the same. If I was to meet someone on a zoo website, the expectations are zoo related.

Maybe some may be searching for feedback from someone about their sexual animal interest. Maybe seeking confirmation or acceptance. Maybe join a psychology club and get a friend their.

I agree, sharing an animal with someone that you may meet on this website should not be a prequisite for frinedship, but it is not really an out of line position or expectation.

 

[Pillar]

There are plenty of non-zoo web sites that one can go to to find a friend.

If I was to join a couples swinging website and had a meet up with a couple, the expectations are evident. If I meet someone on a coin collectors club website, the interest would be the same. If I was to meet someone on a zoo website, the expectations are zoo related.

Maybe some may be searching for feedback from someone about their sexual animal interest. Maybe seeking confirmation or acceptance. Maybe join a psychology club and get a friend their.

I agree, sharing an animal with someone that you may meet on this website should not be a prequisite for frinedship, but it is not really an out of line position or expectation.

You come to a zoo site to talk about bestiality and zoophilia, not about invading someone's sexual space. Leave the creepiness out of it.