• Suddenly unable to log into your ZooVille account? This might be the reason why: CLICK HERE!

Unintentionally hilarious fortune cookie messages

It's almost like they don't even read what you write..............hmmm, who'd have thought a troll would not read what's been written?
 
caikgoch said:
The most disturbing I've ever got was " ", blank. Like, "you don't have a fortune."
Click to expand...
Seems I've read somewhere that a "no fortune" fortune cookie is supposedly the ultimate in good luck. The logic, as i recall, goes something along the lines of "By failing to give you a fortune, the universe now owes you something good to make up for the error."
 
UR20Z said:
Seems I've read somewhere that a "no fortune" fortune cookie is supposedly the ultimate in good luck. The logic, as i recall, goes something along the lines of "By failing to give you a fortune, the universe now owes you something good to make up for the error."
Click to expand...
Or it's like the TV show, forget which one it was, where everyone in the world passed out and saw a vision of themselves in the future. Except some people just passed out and saw no image of the future. As the world tries to figure out what happened and gets closer to the time of the vision it becomes clear that everyone who didn't have a vision will be dead by the time of the future comes to present.

No fortune, you're about to die.
 
dartel said:
Or it's like the TV show, forget which one it was, where everyone in the world passed out and saw a vision of themselves in the future. Except some people just passed out and saw no image of the future. As the world tries to figure out what happened and gets closer to the time of the vision it becomes clear that everyone who didn't have a vision will be dead by the time of the future comes to present.

No fortune, you're about to die.
Click to expand...
FlashForward. The book was MUCH better. Though the TV show was decent, the network fucked it up by moving it around the schedule seemingly at random, and seemingly every other week, then administered the death-blow by putting it on a mid-season hiatus that lost most of its viewers. Another problem was that they kept throwing in more and more and more and more and more and more and... characters and convoluted situations that had no chance of being resolved without massive applications of handwavium, so it was starting to turn into a soap opera - It was getting to the point where Joe AverageTVViewer couldn't keep track of who was who, why they were important, and how they interacted with the constantly growing list of other characters even before the hiatus, and post-hiatus, the storyline became so convoluted that missing an episode meant not knowing what the hell was going on. Add in the "secret cabal"/"terrorists did it" sub-plot (that somebody in the project obviously pulled directly out of their ass - no such thing - not even a hint of it - in the book) that started really becoming clear after the hiatus, and you had a recipe for a show that had no hope of continuing. Which is a bummer, since it had GREAT potential when it first got started.
 
Well, I've had similar experiences with texts like "you will pass an interesting hour with a stranger" and "your partner enjoys your company more than you think".
 
UR20Z said:
My most recent fortune cookie message:

"Without you in it, the world would be a less friendly place."

I almost choked on the crumbs while trying to keep from busting into howls of laughter.

Wudda the rest o' youse apes got on this theme?
Click to expand...
Oh, you just send them to talk to us...
 
PeteVap said:
Reminds me of the old song by the Byrds - You Got a Reputation
Click to expand...
Can't recall if I've ever (knowingly) heard that one. Chestnut Mare and Eight Miles High are my two favorite Byrds tunes, though I *KNOW* I've heard others that I just can't think of right now. (I've currently got Rush's 'La Villa Strangiato' blasting at a volume fit to wake up the neighbors half a mile down the road - Kinda wipes all other music off the face of the planet while it's playing, if ya follow me :) )
 
I had a philosophy professor who half-jokingly said that an aphorism is always true if you add the words "in bed" at the end. When I was in college, we always added the words "in bed" to the end of our fortune cookies fortunes...until one of us got a "fortune" that said something like "Children are a source of great pleasure."
 
WhaleSong said:
I had a philosophy professor who half-jokingly said that an aphorism is always true if you add the words "in bed" at the end. When I was in college, we always added the words "in bed" to the end of our fortune cookies fortunes...until one of us got a "fortune" that said something like "Children are a source of great pleasure."
Click to expand...
While most won't like that, unfortunately there are some out there that will. You can always turn it around and make it innocent instead of the heinous meaning.
 
PeteVap said:
While most won't like that, unfortunately there are some out there that will. You can always turn it around and make it innocent instead of the heinous meaning.
Click to expand...

Usually adding "in bed" makes the aphorism or fortune funny (or funnier), but it didn't work that time.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top