THERE WAS A MAN FROM KENT

[Steven Raccoon]

There was a man from Kent
whose dick was bent.
Every time he had sex
he got into a hex.
For instead of cumming he went.

I have a bent cock. Curves to the left. The curvature is like of a banana. Just wondering if ladies like crooked dicks. And do any guys have severe bent cocks like 90° or more? Do you have to sway your hips side to side to fuck or use a rod to straighten it out?

 

[Predlov]

There was a man from Kent
whose dick was bent.
Every time he had sex
he got into a hex.
For instead of cumming he went.

I have a bent cock. Curves to the left. The curvature is like of a banana. Just wondering if ladies like crooked dicks. And do any guys have severe bent cocks like 90° or more? Do you have to sway your hips side to side to fuck or use a rod to straighten it out?

You either have read and should read Dirty Little Limericks.

 

[Steven Raccoon]

I've read a few. Lol

 

[Predlov]

I have the original print hardback and its sequel that came out a couple decades later.

 

[Steven Raccoon]

That's awesome. I'm racking my brain trying to remember other ones that I've heard.

 

[UR20Z]

There was a man from Kent
whose dick was bent.
Every time he had sex
he got into a hex.
For instead of cumming he went.

I have a bent cock. Curves to the left. The curvature is like of a banana. Just wondering if ladies like crooked dicks. And do any guys have severe bent cocks like 90° or more? Do you have to sway your hips side to side to fuck or use a rod to straighten it out?

There once was a man from nantucket
whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was a pussy, I'd fuck it!"

As for bent dicks, my understanding is that it's pretty well universal, though for some guys, you'd have to take EXTREMELY close measurements to tell. It has to do with the two sections of the corpus cavernosa (the part that fills with blood to cause a stiffy - think of it as something more or less like two condoms inflated side by side inside a sock, with a third, slightly smaller one, called the corpus spongiosum, below and nestled into the bottom "crack" between the two halves of the corpus cavernosa) not being perfectly matched in size. The direction your boner bends is the side that's a bit smaller. The larger the size difference between the two, the sharper the bend. I've never seen, read, or heard of much more than a 30-ish degree deviation, though I'd be surprised to find out that there haven't been "worse" than that.

 

[Steven Raccoon]

That's the limerick I was trying to remember! Only knew the first line.

 

[saddlebum66]

There once was a man from nantucket
whose dick was so long he could suck it.
He said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin,
"If my ear was a pussy, I'd fuck it!"

As for bent dicks, my understanding is that it's pretty well universal, though for some guys, you'd have to take EXTREMELY close measurements to tell. It has to do with the two sections of the corpus cavernosa (the part that fills with blood to cause a stiffy - think of it as something more or less like two condoms inflated side by side inside a sock, with a third, slightly smaller one, called the corpus spongiosum, below and nestled into the bottom "crack" between the two halves of the corpus cavernosa) not being perfectly matched in size. The direction your boner bends is the side that's a bit smaller. The larger the size difference between the two, the sharper the bend. I've never seen, read, or heard of much more than a 30-ish degree deviation, though I'd be surprised to find out that there haven't been "worse" than that.

When its an extreme situation its called Peyronie's Disease. Usually the bend is to the non-dominant hand side....guess why?
But at a certain point, it becomes a problem. See your urology guy if thats a concern.

Between several friends and I we wrote about 400 limericks we posted at Beast Forum. Some of them were quite good.

 

[Steven Raccoon]

There once was a man called Dave,
Who kept a dead whore in a cave,
He said "I admit,
I'm a bit of a shit,
But think of the money I save"

 

[YIMBY]

Your limericks are classics, but off-the-cuff is where the real fun is.

There once was a young man named Steven
Whose dick was a little uneven
He asked for advice
On if it was nice
When the beast of two backs was heavin'

 

[Wasbitchpolly]

There was a young man from leeds
who swallowed a packet of seeds
within an hour his arse was a flower
and his cock was covered in weeds