Starting to feel regret

[WolfMalice]

So I had my first experience with a dog recently (I've already written a post about it so I think it'd be redundant talking about it again - click my profile if you want to see it) and have been on cloud 9 ever since. However in the last few hours I'm starting to feel really guilty about everything that happened.

Was this right? Did I push boundaries way too far and just do something reckless? Was I wrong to feel so turned on by it? God I'm actually a mess right now. I liked the experience but that's what's scariest. And it's probably something I'm going to keep doing as I loved it.

 

[Goattobeloved]

Joys of the Human mind and its convoluted connections. You do something you enjoy, and it backfires... This is something that will be different for each one, so hard to give an answer.

I would think it as something that you needed to try or it would have been going around your mind forever. It did not really hurt any of the parts at the time, which is good, and looks like it was actually enjoyable for both then.

Now you either see it as something personal you both enjoy and keep it up IF you feel like repeating, or keep the memory if you dont.
Or, accept it happened, file under "experimental day" and do not come back to it.

Personally never had deep regrets just because I tend to overthink things before they happen. I am more gradual and slow, but helps me avoid guiltiness on on impulse acting (I do not know if that is the case)

 

[TheHound77]

So I had my first experience with a dog recently (I've already written a post about it so I think it'd be redundant talking about it again - click my profile if you want to see it) and have been on cloud 9 ever since. However in the last few hours I'm starting to feel really guilty about everything that happened.

Was this right? Did I push boundaries way too far and just do something reckless? Was I wrong to feel so turned on by it? God I'm actually a mess right now. I liked the experience but that's what's scariest. And it's probably something I'm going to keep doing as I loved it.

If you loved it and it feels right for you, and you weren’t harming anybody (your animal mate included), I don’t think you should feel bad about it. Of course what you feel is what you feel and there’s nothing wrong with that either, but ask yourself if this regret isn’t coming from social conditioning.

 

[WolfMalice]

Joys of the Human mind and its convoluted connections. You do something you enjoy, and it backfires... This is something that will be different for each one, so hard to give an answer.

I would think it as something that you needed to try or it would have been going around your mind forever. It did not really hurt any of the parts at the time, which is good, and looks like it was actually enjoyable for both then.

Now you either see it as something personal you both enjoy and keep it up IF you feel like repeating, or keep the memory if you dont.
Or, accept it happened, file under "experimental day" and do not come back to it.

Personally never had deep regrets just because I tend to overthink things before they happen. I am more gradual and slow, but helps me avoid guiltiness on on impulse acting (I do not know if that is the case)

Thank you for all of your advice, it's really helpful to read it all

 

[WolfMalice]

If you loved it and it feels right for you, and you weren’t harming anybody (your animal mate included), I don’t think you should feel bad about it. Of course what you feel is what you feel and there’s nothing wrong with that either, but ask yourself if this regret isn’t coming from social conditioning.

I think you're right and it's probably coming from social conditioning. I know we both had an amazing time at it. I can't help but feel some level of regret

 

[BlueBeard]

So I had my first experience with a dog recently (I've already written a post about it so I think it'd be redundant talking about it again - click my profile if you want to see it) and have been on cloud 9 ever since. However in the last few hours I'm starting to feel really guilty about everything that happened.

Was this right? Did I push boundaries way too far and just do something reckless? Was I wrong to feel so turned on by it? God I'm actually a mess right now. I liked the experience but that's what's scariest. And it's probably something I'm going to keep doing as I loved it.

If it helps at all... when we were young (bros, sis, friends and I), we decided our consciences would be better informed in these matters by what the dog's reaction/attitude toward it was -- not duplicitous adults, who pronounced this or that thing to be immoral but then, we discovered later, did it anyway.

Our dog could not be moral/immoral. So what were her reactions? Her input we judged to be more honest, trustworthy than ours. If she were cool with it, so were we. If not, then we wouldn't do *that* anymore.

That you feel "guilt" or at least are second-guessing whether or not you've done something wrong is proof you are good-hearted -- a redemptive trait, human by design, and as yet so far uncorrupted.

So, now, just don't forget there was another creature beside yourself involved here. How was your behavior received?

And finally (if you're still listening, if this is helping at all), even if you were to discover something to feel guilt about, just identify that, don't do that again.

As Roethke said, "I learn by going where I have to go. Take a few more lines from that poem, use them as a meditative mantra right now, perhaps? I love these lines, myself:

I learn by going where I have to go. / ... We think by feeling. What is there to know? / ... Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground, I shall walk softly there, / ... And learn by going where I have to go. ...

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know. / ... I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. / I learn by going where I have to go.

(To read the poem in its entirety, search for The Waking, BY THEODORE ROETHKE)

 

[WolfMalice]

If it helps at all... when we were young (bros, sis, friends and I), we decided our consciences would be better informed in these matters by what the dog's reaction/attitude toward it was -- not duplicitous adults, who pronounced this or that thing to be immoral but then, we discovered later, did it anyway.

Our dog could not be moral/immoral. So what were her reactions? Her input we judged to be more honest, trustworthy than ours. If she were cool with it, so were we. If not, then we wouldn't do *that* anymore.

That you feel "guilt" or at least are second-guessing whether or not you've done something wrong is proof you are good-hearted. A redemptive trait yet, human by design, and as yet uncorrupted.

So, now, just don't forget there was another creature beside yourself involved here. How was your behavior received?

And finally (if you're still listening, if this is helping at all), even if you were to discover something to feel guilt about, just identify that, don't do that again.

As Rhoethke said, "I learn by going where I have to go. Take a few more lines from that poem, use them as a meditative mantra right now, perhaps? I love these lines, myself:

I learn by going where I have to go. / ... We think by feeling. What is there to know? / ... Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground, I shall walk softly there, / ... And learn by going where I have to go. ...

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know. / ... I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. / I learn by going where I have to go.

(To read the poem in its entirety, search for The Waking, BY THEODORE ROETHKE)

Thank you for all of that really great advice, that has gave me a lot more comfort

 

[Jmmp2803]

There’s nothing wrong with it. I still occasionally felt guilty years after starting. Societal conditioning is a hard thing to break. There’s nothing inherently wrong with what you did nor with how you felt.

 

[egoldstein]

So I had my first experience with a dog recently (I've already written a post about it so I think it'd be redundant talking about it again - click my profile if you want to see it) and have been on cloud 9 ever since. However in the last few hours I'm starting to feel really guilty about everything that happened.

Was this right? Did I push boundaries way too far and just do something reckless? Was I wrong to feel so turned on by it? God I'm actually a mess right now. I liked the experience but that's what's scariest. And it's probably something I'm going to keep doing as I loved it.

If you were both willing and unharmed, what's the problem? This is something to think seriously about. If there was harm, evaluate what you did and take efforts make sure that doesn't happen again. But if there was no harm, and everyone had a good time, why would that be an experience to regret? You may or may not wish to repeat it, that is for the individual to decide. If you choose to repeat the experience and your partner is also interested, enjoy one another's company, I can think of no ethical problem with treating another being with love and providing them with pleasurable experiences

 

[MypupandI69]

Everyone goes through this phase and basically what it comes down to is he makes you happy and you make him happy and are able to satisfy his wants and needs. Yes you are pushing your boundaries of what is right and wrong but you just have to realize that there's nothing really wrong happening in the first place especially since you are both happy and consenting. Being in love with an animal isn't anything to be ashamed of. However it is something that is looked down upon by most nationalities and religions and the vast majority of people won't understand us but that just means that ya have to be a bit cautious is all.

 

[VegasZoo]

You going to feel regret the next time you do it.
...wait, don't go, let me finish. It may likely be less the next time. And even less each time you do it.
Question is, are you okay with feeling regret over a period of time before it's no longer an issue or you don't do it again to any more regret?