Sincere question to the women who has a human male partner. How did you come out of the closet?

LilyBlue

LilyBlue

Tourist
Sorry for the long title. I know there are a few women here, maybe not as noisy as the men, but I have been meaning to ask this question for quite some time.
If you are a female and involved in the lifestyle (let's say dogs is your fancy), how did you first open up to your partner. Was it early when you were dating? Later when the relationship was serious? Or maybe, you haven't said anything?

I am longing for a relationship with a human, a person who can accept me the way I am. I do have this taboo which I know won't go away. I have tried being "normal", but it just isn't me. Yet, I don't want to "cheat" or go behind my partner's back and engage in sex with my dog as I would feel guilt and shame. At the same time, how do you tell someone that yes, this is me, and if you want me, then you will have to accept that I will be having an intimate relation with my dog.

Not only will you freak them out. You will also risk starting rumours if things fall apart. What is worse, however, is the legality. Tell it to the wrong person, or the person turns on you later, and you will end up with a mugshot and being thrown to the press as the crazy woman who has sex with her dog who then has to be put out of his "misery".

How did you tell your partner? Is there anyway one can do this without hurting them later on, and yet, let them know before the relationship is very serious?
I feel lost as most my friends are getting married, having kids and they wonder, why am I the only one not interested. And yes, I would love to engage with a human male, but it wouldn't be only him I go to bed with.
 
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I may not be the best to answer this question because my husband and I got into it together. What i can tell you though is you need to be open and honest with your partner. If you hide who you truly are and feel you can’t be open with that person 1. That person is probably not right for you 2. You will always have a level of resentment towards them because you feel you are not able to open up.
 
Okay so I can tell you that most guys will be okay with it. But that really isn't the issue. The issue is the maturity level of the guy. I've dated three guys who all said they were cool with it and even excited about it. But they wanted to be in control. They wanted to set rules about when I could do it, and that they needed to be there. Each one said they were "different" and wouldn't be like that, but they did. Every one of them.

I'm kind of dating a guy now, but I have no plans to tell him anytime soon.
 
Excelente abordaje del tema... soy de Argentina (hombre, hetero y casado). Me pasa que le he insinuado a mi mujer que me gustaria verla a ella "hacer algo" con nuestro perro... le he dicho que sería interesante verla jugar o que se deje hacer algo por el perro, para ver que iniciativa tenía.. .o si se iba a sumar a mi morbo.
lamentablemente ella me mira con cara extraña ...me dice que estoy loco o directamente que ella no haría nada... solo pude hacer que el perro la lamiera, pero no estuvo ella a gusto esa ocasión y no la voy a obligar a sumarse en esta onda si no quiere.
es una última que no se sume... eso opaca un poco mi hermoso matrimonio xq no puedo ser yo y dar rienda suelta a mi infinidad de fantasías zoo que me gustaría cumplir con ella.
Espero algun dia ella me acepte así o sino poder hacer amistad con alguna mujer o pareja de Mendoza (mi ciudad) para poder conversar abiertamente de estos temas y si se pudiera cumplir mi fantasia, mucho mejor!
Gracias por escucharme y espero sus consejos y comentarios.
SALUDOS
 
paragirl said:
Bien, puedo decirte que a la mayoría de los chicos les parecerá bien. Pero ese realmente no es el problema. El problema es el nivel de madurez del chico. Salí con tres chicos que dijeron que estaban bien con eso e incluso entusiasmados con eso. Pero querían tener el control. Querían establecer reglas sobre cuándo podía hacerlo y que ellos tenían que estar ahí. Cada uno dijo que eran "diferentes" y que no serían así, pero así fue. Cada uno de ellos.

Estoy saliendo con un chico ahora, pero no tengo planes de decírselo pronto
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¡Hola! Muy cierto... no todos son lo suficientemente maduro para abordar esos temas y compartirlos con uno!
espero te vaya bien cuando se lo digas!
 
LilyBlue said:
Perdón por el título largo. Sé que hay algunas mujeres aquí, tal vez no tan ruidosas como los hombres, pero he querido hacer esta pregunta desde hace bastante tiempo.
Si eres mujer y estás involucrada en ese estilo de vida (digamos que te gustan los perros), ¿cómo te abriste por primera vez a tu pareja? ¿Era temprano cuando salías? ¿Más tarde cuando la relación era seria? ¿O tal vez no has dicho nada?

Anhelo una relación con un ser humano, una persona que pueda aceptarme tal como soy. Tengo este tabú que sé que no desaparecerá. He intentado ser "normal", pero simplemente no soy yo. Sin embargo, no quiero "hacer trampa" ni tener relaciones sexuales con mi perro a espaldas de mi pareja, ya que me sentiría culpable y avergonzado. Al mismo tiempo, ¿cómo le dices a alguien que sí, este soy yo, y si me quieres, entonces tendrás que aceptar que tendré una relación íntima con mi perro?

No sólo los asustarás. También correrá el riesgo de iniciar rumores si las cosas se desmoronan. Pero lo peor es la legalidad. Díselo a la persona equivocada, o la persona se volverá contra ti más tarde, y terminarás con una foto policial y serás arrojado a la prensa como la mujer loca que tiene sexo con su perro y luego tendrá que sacarlo de su "miseria". ".

¿Cómo se lo dijiste a tu pareja? ¿Hay alguna forma de hacer esto sin lastimarlos más adelante y, aún así, hacérselo saber antes de que la relación se vuelva muy seria?
Me siento perdido porque la mayoría de mis amigos se casan, tienen hijos y se preguntan por qué soy el único que no está interesado. Y sí, me encantaría relacionarme con un hombre humano, pero no sería sólo él con quien me acostaría.
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Mucha suerte cuando abras tu corazon y se lo digas a la persona que amas! Espero te acepte bien y que sea parte y complice de tus fantasias!
Abrazo grande!
 
LilyBlue said:
Sorry for the long title. I know there are a few women here, maybe not as noisy as the men, but I have been meaning to ask this question for quite some time.
If you are a female and involved in the lifestyle (let's say dogs is your fancy), how did you first open up to your partner. Was it early when you were dating? Later when the relationship was serious? Or maybe, you haven't said anything?

I am longing for a relationship with a human, a person who can accept me the way I am. I do have this taboo which I know won't go away. I have tried being "normal", but it just isn't me. Yet, I don't want to "cheat" or go behind my partner's back and engage in sex with my dog as I would feel guilt and shame. At the same time, how do you tell someone that yes, this is me, and if you want me, then you will have to accept that I will be having an intimate relation with my dog.

Not only will you freak them out. You will also risk starting rumours if things fall apart. What is worse, however, is the legality. Tell it to the wrong person, or the person turns on you later, and you will end up with a mugshot and being thrown to the press as the crazy woman who has sex with her dog who then has to be put out of his "misery".

How did you tell your partner? Is there anyway one can do this without hurting them later on, and yet, let them know before the relationship is very serious?
I feel lost as most my friends are getting married, having kids and they wonder, why am I the only one not interested. And yes, I would love to engage with a human male, but it wouldn't be only him I go to bed with.
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For my part, one of my most fundamental values is honesty because my level of conscience is too high and guilt makes me suffer.

I will never tell anyone, ever. When the relationship goes bad it's rare to see people with high emotional intelligence and the risk of going to prison, and inflicting shame on my whole family and being scorned and singled out for the rest of my life doesn't interrested me

So yes, I'm alone and I watch my friends live as happy couples with their children and I suffer from it sometimes but it's a little suffering compared to being denounced.
 
I am probably not a great person to answer this question because I keep it a super secret. I casually date humans and I keep my relationship with my German Shepard a super secret.

It works for me and if someone I am dating tries to get to close I will typically end the relationship. It’s hard, but I have to keep my secrets a secret
 
I eased into it with one partner with a reaction to a news story. his first take was “that is fucked up”. Which I think even a closet zoo would say. So I followed up, what if you found out someone in your family had participated in that? It soft cracked the ice. later some back and forth about what if you had an offspring that told you they were gay, and eventually what if they told you they were a zoo? Somewhere in there you will get a response “I would support them” or you will get ”I would get them mental help” … either way the door is either still partly open or totally shut and locked.

my other advice is to bring it up as early as possible. 1. You do not want emotional attachment only to be shut down and live a lie 2. The longer they know you, the more of your friends and family they can potentially put you to. 3. And this is the hard one - there are a lot of guys who love the kink, but do not want “their woman” doing it, so be careful. That “hell yeah” guy. May watch once and ghost. Take your time to really feel them out.
 
I watched this week the video of the arrest of a young zoophile woman (I would not name her)
She was walking with her striped uniform, handcuffs and chains on her feet, surrounded by two police officers and cameraman who followed her by filming her
She was walking with a sad and shameful air
This young woman made a bad decision and she was going to pay for the rest of her life her mistakes
Just to see the video had my heart torn and I almost wanted to cry
No I will never talk about my zoo life to anyone ever
 
I feel very torn. At least, I know I'm not feeling this way alone. I envy those who have been able to make it work with their partner. Maybe it is better if it comes later in life as a "fun thing" or "mid-life experimentation...

I've had one terrible outcome once. It has blocked me emotionally for over three years. Part of me would have wanted to be a "normal girl", the other part says I could never have enjoyed sex and the closeness I feel with my dog.
I am afraid of getting caught. I am afraid of having someone shame me and even tell the police. The picture @knotarguing is scary, but true. I could have been that girl once. I don't want to try my fate again. Yet, I have this agonising pain that I also want closeness with a human, a family.

Maybe I'll be that old aunt who never got married and had kids and spoil her nieces and nephews with Christmas gifts...:(
 
LilyBlue said:
I feel very torn. At least, I know I'm not feeling this way alone. I envy those who have been able to make it work with their partner. Maybe it is better if it comes later in life as a "fun thing" or "mid-life experimentation...

I've had one terrible outcome once. It has blocked me emotionally for over three years. Part of me would have wanted to be a "normal girl", the other part says I could never have enjoyed sex and the closeness I feel with my dog.
I am afraid of getting caught. I am afraid of having someone shame me and even tell the police. The picture @knotarguing is scary, but true. I could have been that girl once. I don't want to try my fate again. Yet, I have this agonising pain that I also want closeness with a human, a family.

Maybe I'll be that old aunt who never got married and had kids and spoil her nieces and nephews with Christmas gifts...:(
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Don’t give up. Maybe you could find a man to love through the community your in? You never know. But staying quiet until you find someone you feel is worth sharing with then investigating slowly like that one person said, asking if they ever heard of it or what they would think of someone they knew was doing it etc. I’ve had a few people bring it up to me and I didn’t confess my true feelings cus I was scared so I’m sure that happens a lot too. People say no when they mean yes cus they don’t wanna seem like the odd one.

I hope you can find fulfillment in your life with animals and humans loving you! I’m sure it’s what we all want, ideally.
 
LilyBlue said:
I am afraid of getting caught. I am afraid of having someone shame me and even tell the police. The picture @knotarguing is scary, but true. I could have been that girl once. I don't want to try my fate again. Yet, I have this agonising pain that I also want closeness with a human, a family.

Maybe I'll be that old aunt who never got married and had kids and spoil her nieces and nephews with Christmas gifts...:(
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@LilyBlue
I feel your pain through your text and I have a bit of the same pain, except that I have not yet been able to experience with a dog, while you have this chance

As an idealist, I am disappointed to see that the zoo community does not stand up
Why would you try to tell a future partner when there are these people here with whom you could be friends or lover, (sorry my point may not be clear, but English is not my language)
In other words, why look elsewhere for what you could have here
For my part, I would really like to make zoo friends here and in real life, and yet after 5 years I have not yet succeeded, and when I talk about a friend I am not talking about a woman with a dog , not simply a friend who is like me
 
LilyBlue said:
At least, I know I'm not feeling this way alone. I envy those who have been able to make it work with their partner.
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Yes you are certainly not alone in that, and I'd like to validate your feelings. I feel similarly and have read many other posts peaking to that pain as well.
 
Just a comment from a man I am a horse lover. I would love to meet a woman who is into this otherwise I laid a very normal life.
 
I can tell you how I did it with my wife.
First I opened up the subject, not saying I preform these acts but it was just an odd kink to watch the porn.

Leave nothing in texts. Face to face only. You can judge by their reaction if you should tell more. If they react poorly then say no more, and it is just their word against yours.

(I hate to sound so cold and untrusting, but when it comes to this lifestyle. Rule 1 never leave a trail. face in video or text logs. Rule 2 trust is earned not given. )

She seemed indifferent and not out right put off. So I went 1 step further. Now of course this was over time, years, just highlighting the major points. I didn't just drop everything on her in a weekend.

I asked her as a "special gift" for me if she would perform some acts on me while I watch the "Oh so knotty porn" 🙂🙃

She was down and really saw how much I got off on it. So it became our thing.

Last step was mutually assured destruction. You got to protect yourself. I thought it like a prenuptial agreement. With her permission of course, I asked her if I could video us watch porn together for my later use. Which was very true and by this time she was having a great time with this kink. Never to show anyone. No mater what you do, you need to involve them. Now it's yalls Secret. Not just yours to be told.


This was 20 years ago. Now she is fully involved and we will never leave each other. We can't, and I'm ok with that.

All that to say. Protect yourself every step of the way, and introducing this lifestyle slowly is key. Involve them in some type of way.

If you can't do even one of those things, laying all the cards on the table will never be a good idea.
 
I am not a woman and have only shared this with an active woman long ago in my past. I have never shared that with anyone real time. We actually met on a now gone yahoo k9 chat. You should have some idea of how your mate would respond to it. If your unsure it might be best to keep it to yourself.
 
LilyBlue said:
Sorry for the long title. I know there are a few women here, maybe not as noisy as the men, but I have been meaning to ask this question for quite some time.
If you are a female and involved in the lifestyle (let's say dogs is your fancy), how did you first open up to your partner. Was it early when you were dating? Later when the relationship was serious? Or maybe, you haven't said anything?

I am longing for a relationship with a human, a person who can accept me the way I am. I do have this taboo which I know won't go away. I have tried being "normal", but it just isn't me. Yet, I don't want to "cheat" or go behind my partner's back and engage in sex with my dog as I would feel guilt and shame. At the same time, how do you tell someone that yes, this is me, and if you want me, then you will have to accept that I will be having an intimate relation with my dog.

Not only will you freak them out. You will also risk starting rumours if things fall apart. What is worse, however, is the legality. Tell it to the wrong person, or the person turns on you later, and you will end up with a mugshot and being thrown to the press as the crazy woman who has sex with her dog who then has to be put out of his "misery".

How did you tell your partner? Is there anyway one can do this without hurting them later on, and yet, let them know before the relationship is very serious?
I feel lost as most my friends are getting married, having kids and they wonder, why am I the only one not interested. And yes, I would love to engage with a human male, but it wouldn't be only him I go to bed with.
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Where are u living hun
 
I'm not sure how common this would be but for my wife and I, there was not ever really any 'coming out of the closet' moment or any grand declaration. It just happened gradually as we got to know one another, with subtle clues and little comments being made by either one of us to the point we both kind of knew without overtly saying.
As I learned later, she had been active for a couple of years already when we met, and still was. I had begun to suspect. But never overtly asked her. She had never told anyone about it ever. Little by little as we dated over six months or so, hanging out together more and more at her place, and as I got 'adopted' by her and her dog, it was the three of us a lot... the way she was with him... I just knew. And she knew I knew.
When the bedroom door was closed, and he was still in the room with us, I definitely knew. She was taking a leap of trust, and I remember saying to her I was the new one of the three, I was not there to judge or change anything, just felt privileged to get an invite to their world.
Once I did, I was hooked. Truly the most exciting time of my life.
 
My husband and I were watching main stream porn when a doggie clip popped up.
We could not believe how hot it was watching this beautiful woman enthusiastically taking a knot. This led to us actively seeking out zoo vids, then talking about what it would be like to actually try it. We are both so turned on by the thought of hubby watching (he already loves to watch me fuck other people) the conversation just naturally progressed to us looking for an experienced owner to help us learn about and explore zoo.
 
SluttyPants said:
Mi esposo y yo estábamos viendo pornografía convencional cuando apareció un clip de un perrito.
No podíamos creer el calor que hacía ver a esta hermosa mujer hacer un nudo con entusiasmo. Esto nos llevó a buscar activamente videos de zoológicos y luego a hablar sobre cómo sería probarlo. Ambos estamos tan excitados por la idea de que mi esposo mire (a él ya le encanta verme follar con otras personas) que la conversación avanzó naturalmente hacia nosotros buscando un propietario experimentado que nos ayudara a aprender y explorar el zoológico
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genios! Hermosa experiencia!
 
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