Public shame

[daikon_radd]

It finally happened to me. I've been recommending to several people here that if they're ashamed of it that they seek therapy. Recently I was in a public forum, and someone asked the humorous question "what you you ask your pet if they could talk?" And I made the mistake of answering at all. Normally I'm a silent lurker, but for some reason (half a bottle of whiskey) I thought it would be funny to say that it would be illegal for me to answer the question. Everyone knew what I was getting at and I immediately felt public shame and ostracism. Now I don't know how I feel about this. Am I ashamed? Am I proud? Am I indifferent? I can't take back the things I've done and said, and now I have so many mixed feelings that I don't know where I stand. I sincerely want to be a good person, and have some religious pressure dictating my behavior, but I don't know how to move forward with the way I'm feeling. I don't know if I'm ashamed because of public opinion or if I legitimately want to rid myself of these thoughts and feelings.

 

[Vexed]

Societal norms, as they call them, are engrained in us from the moment we come into this world. What's right, what's wrong, what's good and bad, taboo, etc. The thing about it all is really it's not our personal norms that we find as we grow older. It's those we've been taught based on the ideologies of others. Not to say that the most basic norms such as respect, do no harm, kindness, etc. aren't tantamount to our coexistence, however, everything else is subjective, perspective, objective, and personal preference. When I started in the BDSM lifestyle it was just beginning to come out from the underground, in some of the worst ways. Portrayals of Sadists as kidnappers and psychopathic murders on cop shows, taboos such as pegging and fisting weren't even considered mainstream porn. Don't get me started on extremes like blood play and hard Sadism. I knew what I was but I still wouldn't talk about it because I felt that initial shame based on the portrayals of my lifestyle and how the religious subtext of our culture determined our lifestyle standards. This lifestyle, zoophilia, has a long way to go and will likely never be accepted, but it doesn't change that if you have a desire, a fetish, an attraction; you are faced with something very real within you. You know it's not healthy or good for you to eat one food or another, or smoke or vape or even drink every Friday night, but if you want it, despite the number of warnings in the world, you'll do it. How many people eat their RingDings and Hoho's in secret because someone out there is shaming their addiction to food?

 

[JT Bullitt]

I can't take back the things I've done and said, and now I have so many mixed feelings that I don't know where I stand. I sincerely want to be a good person, and have some religious pressure dictating my behavior, but I don't know how to move forward with the way I'm feeling. I don't know if I'm ashamed because of public opinion or if I legitimately want to rid myself of these thoughts and feelings.

Without trying to assume too much about your situation, this is an example of why you should keep your personal identity separate from your online persona. No matter what people say or think about you online, as long as they can't associate your profile with you in real life, it doesn't matter.

Which implies that you should only share personally identifiable information with people you trust completely.