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Not zoo exclusive but need some advice on something

rainbowzluzhy

rainbowzluzhy

Tourist
So I recently started dating and getting together with my partner who is very anti zoo, we're planning on living together at some point so any and all advice on how to deal with this would be good. (Also pls lmk what section better fits this thread/question)
 
Um. She is very anti zoo?
How have you got to that conclussion. Have you talked her about any interest of yours? Cause it does not feel like as the usual small talk at coffee time.

Also. How important is zoo to you? Cause it looks possible you need to choose.
 
I opened up to him before and lied a little, we've talked about zoo before and they don't support it obviously. I'd say zoo is pretty somewhat important to me, maybe we can have a talk about it at some point and try to get them to accept it (if things go south I'll just lie and pretend to be a anti zoo again)
 
rainbowzluzhy said:
I opened up to him before and lied a little, we've talked about zoo before and they don't support it obviously. I'd say zoo is pretty somewhat important to me, maybe we can have a talk about it at some point and try to get them to accept it (if things go south I'll just lie and pretend to be a anti zoo again)
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It is up to you, knowing the persons, to see the chances however...

Antizoo, quite difficult they come to terms to your interests.

Best situation would be he says "ok" but finally still has a gut hurt every time he thinks of it. In the long term it would be very damaging for the relation.

Worst situation, the zoo shit surfaces with every moment of tension, whether you still act on it or you abandoned it for his sake.

Also worst situation, you *pretend* to accept abandoning the zoo part but kerp on it. Count it as cheating and will be a weigh on your relation. Let alone he comes to *know* you lied about something important.

All in all, I think you should agree a full transparency about it, negociate limits, and, if important, consider what and what not you are willing to sacrifice. Lying should never be an option if the relation is serious and meant to last.

Just my two cents. Someone else may chime in with a brillant plan though.
 
That's a hard one. I personally don't think I could live with a partner who, if they knew about me, would condemn me. I know there are many out there who make such relationships work, so it does seem to work for some.
I think if your desire is to maintain that relationship and be an active zoo, you'll need to keep the two aspects of your life fully isolated from one another. The risk of them finding out and reacting negatively seems high, so I would advise great caution.
 
rainbowzluzhy said:
So I recently started dating and getting together with my partner who is very anti zoo, we're planning on living together at some point so any and all advice on how to deal with this would be good. (Also pls lmk what section better fits this thread/question)
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Honestly I reckon you'll have to choose. They probably won't change their mind. Lie and you probably will get caught eventually
 
Your partner is very anti zoo so it isn't a smart idea to try and hide this from them. I recommend not getting a companion of your own but finding people on here that you can have experiences with. You don't want to run into a situation where your partner turns on you after somehow finding out. I don't know how else to go about this. That's a hard situation and I'd almost say don't get involved if you value your relationship with them.
 
MypupandI69 said:
Your partner is very anti zoo so it isn't a smart idea to try and hide this from them. I recommend not getting a companion of your own but finding people on here that you can have experiences with. You don't want to run into a situation where your partner turns on you after somehow finding out. I don't know how else to go about this. That's a hard situation and I'd almost say don't get involved if you value your relationship with them.
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I wouldn't try to find other people to do meet ups just to have some fun and then head back home... Let's assume this dude is an asshole and wants to find out why she hasn't came home yet, or suddenly there's something out of place, like random dog hair.
Can't really explain that off if he's that anti.

Personally, I wouldn't hang with someone and try to just hide it since after awhile it's going to start eating at you.
Unless you're able to still talk it out and hopefully come to an agreement with something. Just going by the description it sounds like he's not gonna change.
 
rainbowzluzhy said:
(if things go south I'll just lie and pretend to be a anti zoo again)
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As a zoo exclusive I really can't comment on the relationship part, but I will say this is a probably a bad idea. If he is really anti-zoo than he is more than likely to try to out you and maybe have collected evidence to use against you.

I would say you might be at a point where you have to make the decision to suppress your zoo side or decide if this is a relationship you want to have. But than again that's easy for me to say. Do what you feel is right.
 
I can't live with anyone that hates me, and the only reason they don't hate me at the moment is because I've lied about my sexuality. Sure they don't hate you right now, but they hate the idea of you being a zoo, and you are a zoo. You are lying, and that's the only reason they are still with you.

Leave.
 
To add my two cents, do whatever makes you happy. I have kept my relationship with my k9s from all my partners. I was sexually active with k9s for about 6 years before I lost my virginity to a human. Sometimes I do wish my partner knew so I wouldn’t have to hide it and worry about being caught, it would be nice to be able to share my lifestyle.
 
Err not to sound crude or anything, and this is just my personal opinion, but if you think that the "zoo" part of you is important, why would you even consider being in a relationship with someone who is obviously anti-zoo?

If you decide to hide that part of yourself from your partner that's one thing.. but if you already popped questions about it to find out their stance, then the seal has already been broken. Most anti-zoos would probably get suspicious just from being asked about it, and they might be looking for signs to prove their theories.

Be careful who you let in on this little secret of yours, unless you want someone to end up using it against you at some point... Remember that it is against the law in most parts of the world, and even where it is not, it is still usually just a short stretch for people to call it animal abuse and cause mayhem that way.

Lies don't always cover your back when things go south.

If you wanna do the zoo, i'd advise against a relationship like that, but i don't got all facts on hand.
And those are just my five cents anyway, you may very well feel differently.
 
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Stupidest recurring question ever ! Again if you're trying to force something upon someone who doesn't like/enjoy the idea all your asking for is trouble !!!!! If you're really zoo either give it up or keep it a secret period ..... My suggestion look for someone with the same interests as yourself .....
 
So much of the same info above is my opinion too…. He’s most likely not going to be into it …as u stated .. he is “very anti zoo”…
It’s wonderful to hear u spoke about it but I blv the answer will n that you will need to choose…. A relationship cannot b based on a lie nor a big part of who you are is hidden from him?.
I wish you all the best and good luck!?
 
rainbowzluzhy said:
I opened up to him before and lied a little, we've talked about zoo before and they don't support it obviously. I'd say zoo is pretty somewhat important to me, maybe we can have a talk about it at some point and try to get them to accept it (if things go south I'll just lie and pretend to be a anti zoo again)
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Others have already given advice that you asked for, so I guess I can add some unsolicited input: Please stop lying and pretending that you would be anti-zoo. There are enough anti-zoos already. It is wrong and disheartening when people who know better nevertheless support anti-zoo sentiments. You don't have to out yourself of course, but it's not okay to reinforce anti-zoo arguments yourself that you do not believe in.

If your partner couldn't even accept that you have a neutral opinion on that topic, then you would be with the wrong person in my opinion. I also doubt that lies about your inner self work well as a stable foundation for a lasting, happy relationship.
 
I'm going to put my two cents in. Keep in mind I am not the greatest with this kind of thing, but I have experience. Choose to follow my advice or not. I won't mind if you think I'm a fool.

I dated the most wonderful girl, but she was anti-zoo. She knows I'm a zoo, but she still cares a hell of a lot about me, even after we broke up (and before anyone asks, it was for unrelated reasons). I didn't deny that I am a zoo, and she and I are still close. She doesn't know about my experiences, and she never will, but I would rather leave her in the dark than not have her in my life at all. Besides, we're not together anymore, and she's not interested in hearing about my sex life.

That being said, despite my identity as a zoophile, I would have given it all up for her. As much as I love animals, another human can do so much more for me outside of sex and companionship. I don't want to go into examples right now, because that's beside the point. I don't think she'll come back, but I would choose to have her back over the hottest animal sex imaginable.

Ask yourself these questions:
1. Do you love each other?
2. Is he more important than zoo sex?
3. Is this a sacrifice you're willing to make?

Chances are, if you answered yes to all of these, you should keep him around. And even then, you could still try some things when he's not around—provided you have a plan for when he drops in unannounced.

Don't lie to yourself. You're a zoo. But if you love him enough, it's worth either sacrifice or secrets—but that part is up to you.
 
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