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My Girlfriend Left Me Yesterday

wood_thrush

wood_thrush

Tourist
It was during my work, while I was away and I wasn't expecting it at all. We were living together, and when I came home yesterday all of her belongings were gone. No note or anything either. While I'm not completely shocked, I'm still surprised and I'm in deep pain. I had invested so much of myself to correct my past mistakes, make her stay as comfortable as possible, and take accountability for whatever my current actions and thoughts had been. I've called her twice with no response, and she's left our house group chat. It's over.

We had been in a difficult temporary living situation and there was a lot of pain and frequent strife in our relationship at times. She found out I had had sexual contacts with animals a little over a year ago, and I said was interested in future sexual explorations, however we had agreed not to talk about it while we were together. We had been planning for her to move out once she was able to to get a better job than driving for Uber, and then we agreed we'd be friends after that. We had lots of good and great times dating too, and I learned so much about what it truly means to love someone in my relationship with her.

I'm not interested in bashing her. I love(d) her. I can really use some emotional support and hugs right now though. I'm looking forward to my therapist appointment next week - he knows about my zoosexuality and understands my relationship dynamic with her too.

I know that I'll never get the answers to these questions, although I can't help but ask them to myself: Why exactly did she leave? Why not tell me about it? Why not leave a note? How long was she planning it? Had our last days, weeks, months together been real, or had she checked out and acted like she loved and/or liked me? How did it come to this?

I'm not looking for answers or speculation - I'm simply sharing what's been on my mind today. I'm not looking for advice either - Google has provided ample advice and I have my therapist. I'm not concerned about any kind of retaliation from her, it's not in her interest or character. Any words of support are needed though and would be welcome. I'd greatly appreciate it and it would help get me through the next few weeks.
 
wood_thrush said:
It was during my work, while I was away and I wasn't expecting it at all. We were living together, and when I came home yesterday all of her belongings were gone. No note or anything either. While I'm not completely shocked, I'm still surprised and I'm in deep pain. I had invested so much of myself to correct my past mistakes, make her stay as comfortable as possible, and take accountability for whatever my current actions and thoughts had been. I've called her twice with no response, and she's left our house group chat. It's over.

We had been in a difficult temporary living situation and there was a lot of pain and frequent strife in our relationship at times. She found out I had had sexual contacts with animals a little over a year ago, and I said was interested in future sexual explorations, however we had agreed not to talk about it while we were together. We had been planning for her to move out once she was able to to get a better job than driving for Uber, and then we agreed we'd be friends after that. We had lots of good and great times dating too, and I learned so much about what it truly means to love someone in my relationship with her.

I'm not interested in bashing her. I love(d) her. I can really use some emotional support and hugs right now though. I'm looking forward to my therapist appointment next week - he knows about my zoosexuality and understands my relationship dynamic with her too.

I know that I'll never get the answers to these questions, although I can't help but ask them to myself: Why exactly did she leave? Why not tell me about it? Why not leave a note? How long was she planning it? Had our last days, weeks, months together been real, or had she checked out and acted like she loved and/or liked me? How did it come to this?

I'm not looking for answers or speculation - I'm simply sharing what's been on my mind today. I'm not looking for advice either - Google has provided ample advice and I have my therapist. I'm not concerned about any kind of retaliation from her, it's not in her interest or character. Any words of support are needed though and would be welcome. I'd greatly appreciate it and it would help get me through the next few weeks.
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I only have two sentences for you and I hope it helps.

Move on when you're ready to let go of her. It wasn't meant to be.

TBH I can share my two cents about her too when you're emotionally ready to read it.
 
Can be extra challenging with it being so abrupt and having some lack of clarity as too the full reasons. It’s sometimes best to just focus and work on yourself and let you both move on.
 
Thank you everybody. I greatly appreciate all of your responses. She got in touch with me a couple days after to talk, and so we scheduled a phone call today. We called today, however she had a migraine so we rescheduled for later this week. I'm glad we are going to talk, hopefully some good can come out of it.

I know things are over romantically. Deep down I do want the romantic relationship to be over, and I know it's for the best to for us to move on. We are not a good fit for each other. Her absence hurts so, so much though - I miss her voice, I miss her touch, I miss her presence. Today has been very difficult, with lots of tears. I feel lonely today.

I'm seeing my therapist tomorrow too, so I think that and a good night's sleep will help. It's been hard sleeping anticipating the phone call today with her. Writing about it helps too.

@Sheppermutt Yes, our intimate relationship has been on the unusual side. We started off as friends with no intention of dating, although we steadily fell for each other. We knew very early on that we were not going to stay together dating indefinitely, although we decided to date each other to explore new things and learn/grow with each other. We had always wanted to be friends after, and were quite honest about this for the duration of the relationship. There are times where the relationship dynamics were extremely difficult, and there were times where they were absolutely wonderful and blissful too. Because of the situation that formed with her living with me, yes I had been feeling a tension in myself as to what my relationship to her actually was. It did indeed seem to me that she was dependent on me to some degree, and I knew in my heart it was time to break off the romance too. However I didn't want to change gears to friends while she was still sleeping in my bedroom. I knew I couldn't handle that.
 
I'll honor your request for "no speculation or advice" and simply say that I wish you luck in future relationships and that I hope that your pain goes away quickly. Maybe someday you'll know all the "why's", until then take care of yourself, be good to yourself and stay safe.
 
wood_thrush said:
It was during my work, while I was away and I wasn't expecting it at all. We were living together, and when I came home yesterday all of her belongings were gone. No note or anything either. While I'm not completely shocked, I'm still surprised and I'm in deep pain. I had invested so much of myself to correct my past mistakes, make her stay as comfortable as possible, and take accountability for whatever my current actions and thoughts had been. I've called her twice with no response, and she's left our house group chat. It's over.

We had been in a difficult temporary living situation and there was a lot of pain and frequent strife in our relationship at times. She found out I had had sexual contacts with animals a little over a year ago, and I said was interested in future sexual explorations, however we had agreed not to talk about it while we were together. We had been planning for her to move out once she was able to to get a better job than driving for Uber, and then we agreed we'd be friends after that. We had lots of good and great times dating too, and I learned so much about what it truly means to love someone in my relationship with her.

I'm not interested in bashing her. I love(d) her. I can really use some emotional support and hugs right now though. I'm looking forward to my therapist appointment next week - he knows about my zoosexuality and understands my relationship dynamic with her too.

I know that I'll never get the answers to these questions, although I can't help but ask them to myself: Why exactly did she leave? Why not tell me about it? Why not leave a note? How long was she planning it? Had our last days, weeks, months together been real, or had she checked out and acted like she loved and/or liked me? How did it come to this?

I'm not looking for answers or speculation - I'm simply sharing what's been on my mind today. I'm not looking for advice either - Google has provided ample advice and I have my therapist. I'm not concerned about any kind of retaliation from her, it's not in her interest or character. Any words of support are needed though and would be welcome. I'd greatly appreciate it and it would help get me through the next few weeks.
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Like all moments in life, this time will pass too. Youll be alright, theres plenty of other great people out here and youll notice that. Good luck dude and stay strong!
 
Sorry to hear that well dont expect anything unfortunately she wont come back and the best thing you can do now is distract yourself and also make sure she has no way to come back at your home like with an key to open door.
 
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