wood_thrush
Tourist
I posted a thread entitled "Letter from my sister" awhile back, and this is the second and probably final part of this series. I know this is a long post. Thanks in advance for your patience should you want to read it!
At the end of April, I met with my dad to tell him about my zoosexuality. Although I was terrified about this, I had long before decided that it was something that I had to do. This was the final step for me to feel right about my close relationships.
He was pleased to see me, with a smile on his face and in a good mood. Although my dread to melt, I was still afraid. I began telling him everything: how I had found that I was attracted to animals and had had mild sexual experiences with them. I told him about how I had hurt my girlfriend by lying about my sexual interest in animals. I wanted hear from me first that upon telling my siblings my relationships with them were now tenuous at best. I wanted him to see me for who I was.
He listened intensely, deeply, and thoughtfully. My nerves calmed. I could see that he wanted to listen and was giving me the space to talk freely. He calmly asked questions about how I first came across zoosexuality, and how long I had been engaged with it. He asked me few other questions too I think, but I don't remember what they were. He wanted to understand, not to judge.
He shared his thoughts on bestiality and recognized that it's been going on throughout humanity's existence. He had some concerns he wanted me to think about however, some of which are familiar to me from my girlfriend saying them.
His primary concern is that of addiction. I am an addict and prone to addictive behavior. I've been addicted to / dependent on drugs (namely caffeine, marijuana and alcohol), video games, and porn. He and my girlfriend are concerned that my addiction could be manifesting itself in zoosexuality. While I no longer play video games or take recreational drugs they are concerned that there is some underlying cause related to my addiction connected to zoosexuality.
Another concern was that of legal consent. Although I'm sure people have expressed thoughts on that topic here, I'm simply sharing what he related to me. He expressed that the concept of consent is a human-created legal construct and that it is impossible for an (albeit sexually willing) animal to consent (by human definition) to sexual activity. Another concern was that I was choosing to put myself on the lowest rung on the social ladder by pursuing and being open about my zoosexuality. His last concern was that he felt I was at risk of ensconcing myself in an echo chamber by joining an online community for something taboo.
I thanked him for sharing his perspective and promised him I'd think about these things and talk about them with my therapist. I started crying when he said that he wasn't going to ostracize me. I could tell that he truly cared for me, and that he was simply concerned. He wasn't trying to change me, or telling me what I should do. His voice was full of gentleness and I knew that we were still on the same loving and compassionate terms we were on before I walked in.
We talked a little more, and I shared about how I was trying to be more honest with people generally. Lots of crying from me. I had so much emotion pent up over this from the previous two weeks. He gave me a long hug, and there were tears in his eyes too. I told him that I would figure things out even if I didn't know what it would end up looking like, and he accepted that. Throughout our meeting I felt wonderful floods of relief, crumbling the boulder that had been crushing me.
Since meeting my dad, I haven't able to see my therapist unfortunately but I have thought about his concerns. I want to know what people here think about them. That said the addiction one is probably for me to figure out with my therapist. I do want to ask this though: do people ever engage in bestiality to cope with anything, or assuage an addiction?
*** Please know I am not interested in debating, arguing, or judging - I want to know what people's perspectives and experiences are, even if they differ or are unusual. I'm not looking for a battle over right or wrong, but I do want to know what people think.
Thank you for reading!
At the end of April, I met with my dad to tell him about my zoosexuality. Although I was terrified about this, I had long before decided that it was something that I had to do. This was the final step for me to feel right about my close relationships.
He was pleased to see me, with a smile on his face and in a good mood. Although my dread to melt, I was still afraid. I began telling him everything: how I had found that I was attracted to animals and had had mild sexual experiences with them. I told him about how I had hurt my girlfriend by lying about my sexual interest in animals. I wanted hear from me first that upon telling my siblings my relationships with them were now tenuous at best. I wanted him to see me for who I was.
He listened intensely, deeply, and thoughtfully. My nerves calmed. I could see that he wanted to listen and was giving me the space to talk freely. He calmly asked questions about how I first came across zoosexuality, and how long I had been engaged with it. He asked me few other questions too I think, but I don't remember what they were. He wanted to understand, not to judge.
He shared his thoughts on bestiality and recognized that it's been going on throughout humanity's existence. He had some concerns he wanted me to think about however, some of which are familiar to me from my girlfriend saying them.
His primary concern is that of addiction. I am an addict and prone to addictive behavior. I've been addicted to / dependent on drugs (namely caffeine, marijuana and alcohol), video games, and porn. He and my girlfriend are concerned that my addiction could be manifesting itself in zoosexuality. While I no longer play video games or take recreational drugs they are concerned that there is some underlying cause related to my addiction connected to zoosexuality.
Another concern was that of legal consent. Although I'm sure people have expressed thoughts on that topic here, I'm simply sharing what he related to me. He expressed that the concept of consent is a human-created legal construct and that it is impossible for an (albeit sexually willing) animal to consent (by human definition) to sexual activity. Another concern was that I was choosing to put myself on the lowest rung on the social ladder by pursuing and being open about my zoosexuality. His last concern was that he felt I was at risk of ensconcing myself in an echo chamber by joining an online community for something taboo.
I thanked him for sharing his perspective and promised him I'd think about these things and talk about them with my therapist. I started crying when he said that he wasn't going to ostracize me. I could tell that he truly cared for me, and that he was simply concerned. He wasn't trying to change me, or telling me what I should do. His voice was full of gentleness and I knew that we were still on the same loving and compassionate terms we were on before I walked in.
We talked a little more, and I shared about how I was trying to be more honest with people generally. Lots of crying from me. I had so much emotion pent up over this from the previous two weeks. He gave me a long hug, and there were tears in his eyes too. I told him that I would figure things out even if I didn't know what it would end up looking like, and he accepted that. Throughout our meeting I felt wonderful floods of relief, crumbling the boulder that had been crushing me.
Since meeting my dad, I haven't able to see my therapist unfortunately but I have thought about his concerns. I want to know what people here think about them. That said the addiction one is probably for me to figure out with my therapist. I do want to ask this though: do people ever engage in bestiality to cope with anything, or assuage an addiction?
*** Please know I am not interested in debating, arguing, or judging - I want to know what people's perspectives and experiences are, even if they differ or are unusual. I'm not looking for a battle over right or wrong, but I do want to know what people think.
Thank you for reading!
