Lost a friend, losing hope

[pricklypear]

The first person I told was my best friend, and they responded really positively. It gave me a lot of hope. Then yesterday I told my only other close friend and she seemed to understand, until this morning when she basically cut ties with me entirely. It's just... so incredibly frustrating to be faced with the reality that no matter how much someone trusts you, even if they're fully willing to hear you out, and you know that they're a safe person to tell, it doesn't mean that they won't decide to end the friendship over it. It just makes me feel incredibly hopeless. I hate friendships that are held up by false pretenses and yet it's incredibly evident that even for the weird fucking people I make friends with, honesty is incredibly risky in terms of maintaining the relationship. How do you guys cope with this?

 

[pes]

Most people do not tell it to anyone.
Why did you decide to tell that to a person who is not already into it?

 

[pricklypear]

Most people do not tell it to anyone.
Why did you decide to tell that to a person who is not already into it?

I stated this in my post. I'm friends with weird fucking people (who I generally consider would be more understanding than the average person) and I value honesty in friendships. I don't see the point in being friends with someone if they were to completely drop me upon learning some things that are very intrinsic to who I am as a person. That doesn't change that it still hurts when it happens.

 

[nekdoneco123]

you can be honest with your friends while not mentioning you find animals sexually attractive and/or have sex with them. not saying something isn't lying... it's just keeping stuff that should be private private.
there are no "false pretenses", it's just your need to be validated or whatever that got you where you are.

i don't have to cope with this at all. i have my set of friends (some of which are "weird fucking people" too) and i just never told them i'm a zoosexual who frequently has sex with dogs since it's simply none of their business... i never ask them who they fuck as well.

 

[egoldstein]

Speaking as someone who's was largely out for a long time, it doesn't really gain you much and comes with some pretty significant risks.
I'd argue any friend you lose over it wasn't much of a friend, but I think it's better to keep the details to oneself except when yo're very sure of the response. Evaluate people very carefully and I tend to encourage people to seek like-minds online where it's safer and easier to find others to talk to.

 

[finepple]

I wouldn't tell anyone unless i think she is also into it and let me watch her do it with her dog hehe ?