Hello everyone, I feel like i need to tell my story. Maybe it will help anyone else out there who was or is struggling like i have for over half my life. I fell into beastiality around 12 years old. I believe it stemmed from having my first orgasm rubbing myself against a stuffed wolf that i got during a family trip to the zoo. Growing up with the new age of the internet, i was always looking for new movies and pictures. To the point where i would say i was addicted. I would spend countless hours on Limewire trying to download movies while simultaneously destroying the family computer. Beastiality has been part of my life since i can remember, and still is to this day. Over the years ive had serious relationships and kind of just kept it to myself for fear of being judged or left. I did introduce it to 3 girls that i dated for a long time. The first one found no sexual attraction towards the dog but just the act of sex. She didn't mind but also wasn't into it. The second one was similar, she was not into beastiality but liked the idea of playing a puppy. Eventually we split up and went our own ways unfortunately. The 3rd, she absolutely loved the idea of beastiality. She loved watching videos, the idea of it, the concept of knotting, everything. This is the greatest feeling in the world. This girl that i have loved for over half my life is into beastiality. We knew each other for over 20 years but never got a chance to be together because we lived so far away from one another. Eventually as we got older we decided to date (2 hours separated us), she knew nothing of my love for beastiality for 2 more years. When it was finally introduced some how (don't remember how) she was curious. The lead me into telling her about everything. We both felt the same way of how to wanted to live our life. For us a dog wouldn't just be a sex partner, but also a lover, a part of the relationship. The emotional bonding and love was just as sexy as the act itself. We both agreed that we wouldn't do anything until we decided to move into together and raise a puppy all as one. Sadly to say, we couldn't make it work. My career being where i am, and her career being where she was. The 2 hour drive daily killed us both and took its toll. We ended up splitting and never got to live the life we planned. This devastated me. I went down a very dark hole for a very long time. Knowing the chances of ever finding a girl again that would want to live that lifestyle; are slim to none. It has been almost 5 years since we broke up. Ive never dated again since. I don't think i would or could date unless the girl knew from the very get go. We all know the chances of that... So what now? I ask myself that everyday. Do i find someone to be with and just ignore something i am so passionate about? Do i just stay single forever? What do i do? That is where i am, and have been for a very long time. Ive been on anti depressants and anxiety pills for most of my life, it does get very hard some days knowing that i might spend forever by myself. Sometimes to the point where no one should have to be.
As much as i love talking to people on here about it and other online platforms. It will never replace that companionship or closeness that i am looking for. I want that special person to spend the rest of my life with.
What do other people do to subside this or to cope? Thank you for taking time to read all this. I hope it does help someone who feels like i do.
As much as i love talking to people on here about it and other online platforms. It will never replace that companionship or closeness that i am looking for. I want that special person to spend the rest of my life with.
What do other people do to subside this or to cope? Thank you for taking time to read all this. I hope it does help someone who feels like i do.
