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Is coming out as a Zoo really the right thing to do for us? Have you experienced serious ramifications?

A

Alpha Cat

Guest
I have noticed this trend in Zooville's threads about Zoos coming out to friends and family members. I have put some serious thought into the matter and no matter how many perspectives I try to look at the situation from, I can never see this as a good idea. In fact, the idea of a Zoo outing themself seems like the worst idea possible. Let us look at various scenarios.
1. You are beastialist. You are not Zoo exclusive but you are attracted to women who are into it. Okay, if you go up to a woman and she has not expressed any indication on her own that she might be into it. Already, you are taking a risk; there is 50/50 chance that she will not be into it. She could end up reporting you to the authorities. Let us say that you do go out with her and she is into it. One day she opens her mouth and tells a friend about it. The friend tells the cops. Third scenario. You marry the woman. You have a great relationship and she has sex with Fido while you watch. Then one day she files for a divorce. She wants alimony, so the day before she filed for separation she set up a hidden camera while having sex with Fido. She hands the video to her lawyer and she tells the judge that you forced her. You go to jail and when you get out you have to pay her lawyer fees, and you have to pay her alimony.

2. You are a Zoo who is an exclusive Zoo. It gets stressful trying to live a double life. You want to tell your family. People on Zooville tell you it is a great idea. Right now, no one knows that you are a Zoo. Your friends and family love you. People in the town respect you. No one really judges you but they do ask when are you going to start a family. You decide to tell your family. Your father never looks at you the same way again. You feel like you are always having to get him to respect you but he makes it clear by his actions that you are someone else to him now. Your mother cries over the phone and tells one of her friends. Her friend spreads it to her gossip circle, those total losers who have nothing else to do with their boring pathetic lives but talk shit about other people in order to get high off of the latest drama. People stare at you everywhere you go. You can hear them whispering behind your back. You don't even know who most of these people are. Before they were just strangers who looked the other way when you passed them by, and now, they all know you and you only exist for them to pass condemnation upon you. After, a month of people self-righteous people passing judgment on you and reporting you to the authorities, law enforcement stops by your house and takes your beloved animal partner away from you. You hire a really good lawyer who manages to get the charges dropped. As you go to get your dog back you find out that your dog bit three of the cops so they had your beloved dog of five years put to sleep. Your dog has been killed by the government, you have been publically humiliated by the media, your town has ostracized you, and most of your friends and family will always subconsciously see you as a pervert. Your father will never be proud of you again. You would be better off moving to another town and changing your name.

Remember that homosexuals put up with persecution all of the time but they have never had to worry about going to prison for it. WE DO! They can afford to come out. We cannot. If you come out you could end up seeing your dog getting gunned down by the cops in your front yard. Do you really want to see your husky take fifteen rounds of nine-millimeter? You'll watch your dog die before your eyes as you are thrown to the ground and kicked repeatedly by the police. You will go to jail and when you get out people will laugh at you behind your back for the rest of your life. Think it can't happen? I knew a guy in Texas that it happened to. He had a job as a computer programmer and made $60,000 a year. After, two failed marriages where both his wives cheated on him, he got involved with a husky. He said the dog was far more loyal to him than any woman. He came out to his parents and he was later arrested. It was his dog that was shot. He had to quit his job and leave town. He had to take a job as a truck driver and only made $12,000 a year. No, coming out to anyone but your partner is a very bad idea.

Burt was a good man. R.I.P Suicide is never the answer.
 
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I think coming out as zoo can be bad and it can be good. I consider myself a good judge of character and have successfully come out to several friends as a matter of confidence and trust in them and it has strengthened our friendships.

I also figured I'd just add that homosexuals are indeed still imprisoned and killed around the world for their sexual orientation. People are shitty, but a person can be good.
 
Thank you for this. I think sometimes, we get too caught up in the fantasy of being accepted, and some of us need a hard dose of reality. It's great that some people have very open-minded families, but most don't. We will never be fully accepted for who we are. Our attractions will forever be seen as a sin, a crime, or the disgusting perversions of a very mentally unstable individual. It's sad and it's painful to think about, but that's how it is, and it's better to keep it a secret than have your life ruined.

Thank god we have this forum to open up to. Other than that, it's best to keep your mouth shut.
 
Nope its stupid..... what will change for you if you do personally? People will hate you, disown, attack, call the police, expose you and all kinds of stuff if you do. Besides i really dont know why the fuck some people even consider it to tell people... very few will accept and what do you expect if they dont judge, you wanna make out with your dog in public?
 
Yes, more dirty snitches ruining the lives of young women who did nothing wrong. That is what is truly sick.

Unfortunately, they don't see things like we do. Their whole lives, they've been told that anyone who has sex with animals is wrong and evil. They act out of fear and disgust without questioning what they've been told. They have it so tightly screwed in their heads that we're the enemy that they feel compelled to bring us down.

I wish more people opened their minds to the endless realities this world offers.
 
Nope its stupid..... what will change for you if you do personally? People will hate you, disown, attack, call the police, expose you and all kinds of stuff if you do. Besides i really dont know why the fuck some people even consider it to tell people... very few will accept and what do you expect if they dont judge, you wanna make out with your dog in public?

I wouldn't even consider telling anyone, but I can see where others are coming from. It's pretty stressful, feeling like you have to hide a part of yourself from those you care about. Keeping secrets isn't easy for some. Especially not one that's universally hated by society.
 
Unfortunately, they don't see things like we do. Their whole lives, they've been told that anyone who has sex with animals is wrong and evil. They act out of fear and disgust without questioning what they've been told. They have it so tightly screwed in their heads that we're the enemy that they feel compelled to bring us down.

I wish more people opened their minds to the endless realities this world offers.
Yes, 50 years ago they said that homosexuality was a mental illness and persecuted Gays endlessly.
 
I don't think you should come out to your partner either.... unless you know she likes it somehow before you tell her. There are many narcissistic people in this world, one bad break up and she feels like its all your fault and your whole life is ruined. I dated one and boy the stuff she made up about me as well... wasn't anything related to beastiality but if she knew she'd probably do
 
i don't think it even is a 50/50 chance for potential partner to be into it... more like 2/98.
telling anyone about it is very naive thing to do, nothing is confidential these days and it will come back to bite you in the ass.
i'm sorry for your friend.
 
I wouldn't even consider telling anyone, but I can see where others are coming from. It's pretty stressful, feeling like you have to hide a part of yourself from those you care about. Keeping secrets isn't easy for some. Especially not one that's universally hated by society.
Yeah, it is really hard but it does get easier as you get older. You kind of get desensitized to the sense of isolation.
 
I wouldn't even consider telling anyone, but I can see where others are coming from. It's pretty stressful, feeling like you have to hide a part of yourself from those you care about. Keeping secrets isn't easy for some. Especially not one that's universally hated by society.
I Dont personally but maybe its just me. The way i see it is, why would anyone care in general who you have sex with? Or if you are in a relationship with your pets its not like they will ask you hmmm are you into beastiality? Haha unless you make it obvious.
 
I don't think you should come out to your partner either.... unless you know she likes it somehow before you tell her. There are many narcissistic people in this world, one bad break up and she feels like its all your fault and your whole life is ruined. I dated one and boy the stuff she made up about me as well... wasn't anything related to beastiality but if she knew she'd probably do
Yeah, that is why I get so agitated when I meet these young guys who are white knights and think that all women are virginal saints. They have no idea how ruthless women can be. I have dated a few crazies in my day. They never show their true colors until after a month or two.
 
I used to have a best friend back in middle school. I never knew if he considered me his best fried or not, but I knew at the time he was mine. He seemed like a very down to earth, loyal, intelligent, and fun guy. In late 6th grade he came out as homosexual, but with tooth and nail I defended him against anyone who dared try to bully and make fun of him. Funny enough until I found out he was gay, I was actually fairly homophobic. Finding that out about him changed my entire perspective of the matter.

We lost contact after 8th grade. He made some poor choices in his life and was forced into an "Alternative school" for his high school years. In that school he flourished and was set on the right path. It wasn't until I was 18 and out of school that I found him again and reconnected. It was like old times again, he and I reconnected and we pretty much picked up right where we left off. He was to me the same intelligent, kind, and funny person I knew back in middle school. At the same time this was happening I fell in love with my neighbor's dog that they mistreated and abused. She and I really clicked and I spent countless nights crying over her unnecessary treatment. My friend and I were hanging out regularly but for the most part I kept everything about my love affair with this dog a secret. That is until she one day disappeared without a trace. I was almost certain she was killed because her POS owners let her run around the country neighborhood unsupervised and she's already been hit by a car before I even met her. (I later found out she was alive, but that's a different more person story.)

I was broken. She was really my first love and a love partner I truly cherished. Nothing would convince me she didn't get ran over and killed in my state in mind. In that time of desperation I decided to confide in who I thought was my best friend. I told him everything! The love, the sexual contact, my feelings for her, how much she meant to me, and how mentally broken I was due to her loss. I cried in front of him. At the same time he let me know that one of his friends recently died in a car crash and it was really messing with his emotions as well. He too was not in a good state of mind. We ended up crying together, a couple of sad sacks depressed over two different reasons.

A few weeks go by and we are still hanging out and talking to one another like good pals. I'd visit his house and hang out and he'd visit mine. But I noticed he started getting more and more distant as time was marching forward. Then out of the blue one day I get a frantic message from him. He was questioning how I was sure I wasn't raping animals, how I was sure that they could even enjoy sex with humans, and how I was sure that I wasn't causing them mental harm by engaging in them sexually. I answered all of his questions with my best reasoning that I could muster. I let him know, that yes, sex does happen, but that not important, the love that we felt for one another. The love of the relationship was really the only thing that meant anything. I also explained the biology as to why animals can and do enjoy sex. (It also didn't help that he was curious a week or two prior and asked what kind of porn gets me off. So I showed him the video "Creamy not Chunky" from PetLust since it's quite obvious she is enjoying herself.) He stated that he actually found it a bit arousing, mainly due to the guy in the video.

After I answered all of his questions, he was like, "Yeah, that makes since. I know you are an animal lover and wouldn't cause any harm to them. I should have known better than to question you." I thought that was that. I hung out with him one more time and he and I smoked some weed and had a great time. Plenty of jokes were made and it was like nothing had ever happened. But, little did I know, that would be the last time we ever hung out. After that, he cut all contact with me. All the history we had, all the moments we shared, all the times I stood up for him against his bullies, all of it was gone. I tried reaching out to him multiple times and he'd just see my message and leave me on read. I tried infrequently for the next year but never got a response.

He messaged me one time after a year stating that I didn't deserve his treatment. But after that... nothing. I realize now that our friendship wasn't meant to be. We'd probably still be "good friends" now if I've never told him of my zooey side. But it is what it is. I cannot change the past, I can only move forward. Losing him as a friend really did hurt at the time, and it's made me keep my mouth pretty much shut about it ever since. But at the same time, I've told one other non-zoo friend about my sexual orientation with animals and he couldn't give two craps about it. So you never know how someone will react. I was lucky that he never outed me because plenty of people have been outed this way.
 
We'd probably still be "good friends" now if I've never told him of my zooey side. But it is what it is. I cannot change the past, I can only move forward. Losing him as a friend really did hurt at the time, and it's made me keep my mouth pretty much shut about it ever since. But at the same time, I've told one other non-zoo friend about my sexual orientation with animals and he couldn't give two craps about it. So you never know how someone will react.
Coming out to other people about being a Zoo or Zoo-lover is like rolling five six-sided dice, any combination of outcomes may come up but don't expect a Yahtzee.
 
To me, coming out is a very bad idea, at least in today's society. People are still too close minded :/
Scenario 2 is the reason why I don't come out. Just imagining the possibility of that happening scares me to death D:
Not only for being zoo, but also for being gay. So that's double the risk for me :/
I prefer to continue living a lonely hidden life, rather than risk having it destroyed :(
Will that change in the future ? I don't know. All I know is that society has a lot to evolve yet.
 
I unfortunately expect I will have to come out to my parents one day. They already almost think I am homosexual and find it odd that I do not have any human partner. I thought my mother had an idea that I might be zoo, but she probably found it too improbable and went for homosexual instead. I am preparing for it, but it is going to be extremely hard. We have good family relations and hiding this will get increasingly hard.
 
Do you really want to see your husky take fifteen rounds of nine-millimeter? You'll watch your dog die before your eyes as you are thrown to the ground and kicked repeatedly by the police.
That's not gonna happen, the moment I see my partner is getting shot I'm opening fire. Still almost the worst case scenario, being put to sleep for good while I'm fighting in the court would be the worst. I have recently managed to set up a plan in case of police raid to avoid casualties. They will not shoot unless threatened. So if I manage to secure the muzzle on time in some visible way it should be good. There is a risk of them not noticing so the best way would be to tell them directly before contact. Both actions require buying time, so most important part is to know they are coming: lock the door. If you manage to "secure" the animal and they still order to open the door, you can tell them while opening. If not, threatening to commit suicide should buy a few required seconds. Just do not do anything they could see as dangerous to them, or you will get shot. I don't know how to ensure my animal ends up in the right hands afterwards yet but that can differ between countries.

I have told 3 friends so far after feeling them out for a couple of years, the first time went... neutral, she just doesn't want to talk about it but doesn't care either. The rest was positive(ish) and I don't regret it at all. Still, doing this recklessly indeed asks for trouble right now, be absolutely sure the person you are coming out to is not going to tell anyone else or event suggest it by mistake. On the other hand, if someone knows me for a week and knows about zoos, he's going to be 95% sure I'm one of us. This is just impossible to hide, the only reason I have not been found out is that people don't even consider this option. So I have to consider the possibility anyway. Not only that, you can get swatted for no particular reason, some idiot not liking you is enough. Just try to prepare.
 
Yeah coming out doesn't really seem worth it for me. Too risky. I wonder if it might be possible one day, but personally it doesn't bother me, no one has to know what I do in my bedroom ;)

but they have never had to worry about going to prison for it.

That is wrong. Even now there are a lot of countries where you can go to prison for being gay, in a few countries it's even punished by death. In the past I think most countries punished homosexuality by imprisonment

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I unfortunately expect I will have to come out to my parents one day. They already almost think I am homosexual and find it odd that I do not have any human partner. I thought my mother had an idea that I might be zoo, but she probably found it too improbable and went for homosexual instead. I am preparing for it, but it is going to be extremely hard. We have good family relations and hiding this will get increasingly hard.
what makes you expect you'll have to come out one day if i may ask? is claiming asexuality not an option? or just go with the homosexual (well, it probably won't answer the "why no partner" bit unless you claimed you're just very picky or something)
 
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what makes you expect you'll have to come out one day if i may ask? is claiming asexuality not an option? or just go with the homosexual (well, it probably won't answer the "why no partner" bit unless you claimed you're just very picky or something)
It is like replacing one lie with another lie. Asexuality would be hard for me to fake. :D I often make sex jokes I am openly a sexual being. Saying I am asexual would not be convincing I do not even know how such people feel or act. While the homosexual option seems easier I am not sure I will be able to maintain it for a long time.
 
I'm one of the zoos that has come out to close friends and my current girlfriend. Thank you for posting this, I think it is extremely important for people to have a reality check and understand the potential consequences of coming out. For me, I still did it besides the risks because I already knew the people I came out to were extremely open minded, and I tested the waters in other ways that weren't too obvious trying to get their opinions on the subject matter. In the end, it made our friendships grow closer and I think was overall a good choice for me. At this point in my life, even if things go south for some reason, I always have plausible deniability. They can say whatever they want about me, but they have no proof and probably never will. Not only have I never done anything with an animal, I would never record it if I were to. I wouldn't tell anybody about it, either. I could say the same things about them, and have the same amount of evidence that they do, which is pretty much nothing.

I completely agree that nobody should be coming out just to anybody willy-nilly. Although I do think that there are some ways to come out (to the right people) if you so choose and still be safe about it. The biggest piece of advice I would probably give to this would be to try to see what their opinions are on the subject way before hand, but do it discretely. Easy example: watch an episode of family guy and when they make a bestiality joke (theres like one every three or four episodes lol), discretely bring up the subject and try to have a conversation. But anyways, thank you again for posting. I feel this is something that everyone should read if they are thinking about coming out to understand the real risks.
 
I used to have a best friend back in middle school. I never knew if he considered me his best fried or not, but I knew at the time he was mine. He seemed like a very down to earth, loyal, intelligent, and fun guy. In late 6th grade he came out as homosexual, but with tooth and nail I defended him against anyone who dared try to bully and make fun of him. Funny enough until I found out he was gay, I was actually fairly homophobic. Finding that out about him changed my entire perspective of the matter.

We lost contact after 8th grade. He made some poor choices in his life and was forced into an "Alternative school" for his high school years. In that school he flourished and was set on the right path. It wasn't until I was 18 and out of school that I found him again and reconnected. It was like old times again, he and I reconnected and we pretty much picked up right where we left off. He was to me the same intelligent, kind, and funny person I knew back in middle school. At the same time this was happening I fell in love with my neighbor's dog that they mistreated and abused. She and I really clicked and I spent countless nights crying over her unnecessary treatment. My friend and I were hanging out regularly but for the most part I kept everything about my love affair with this dog a secret. That is until she one day disappeared without a trace. I was almost certain she was killed because her POS owners let her run around the country neighborhood unsupervised and she's already been hit by a car before I even met her. (I later found out she was alive, but that's a different more person story.)

I was broken. She was really my first love and a love partner I truly cherished. Nothing would convince me she didn't get ran over and killed in my state in mind. In that time of desperation I decided to confide in who I thought was my best friend. I told him everything! The love, the sexual contact, my feelings for her, how much she meant to me, and how mentally broken I was due to her loss. I cried in front of him. At the same time he let me know that one of his friends recently died in a car crash and it was really messing with his emotions as well. He too was not in a good state of mind. We ended up crying together, a couple of sad sacks depressed over two different reasons.

A few weeks go by and we are still hanging out and talking to one another like good pals. I'd visit his house and hang out and he'd visit mine. But I noticed he started getting more and more distant as time was marching forward. Then out of the blue one day I get a frantic message from him. He was questioning how I was sure I wasn't raping animals, how I was sure that they could even enjoy sex with humans, and how I was sure that I wasn't causing them mental harm by engaging in them sexually. I answered all of his questions with my best reasoning that I could muster. I let him know, that yes, sex does happen, but that not important, the love that we felt for one another. The love of the relationship was really the only thing that meant anything. I also explained the biology as to why animals can and do enjoy sex. (It also didn't help that he was curious a week or two prior and asked what kind of porn gets me off. So I showed him the video "Creamy not Chunky" from PetLust since it's quite obvious she is enjoying herself.) He stated that he actually found it a bit arousing, mainly due to the guy in the video.

After I answered all of his questions, he was like, "Yeah, that makes since. I know you are an animal lover and wouldn't cause any harm to them. I should have known better than to question you." I thought that was that. I hung out with him one more time and he and I smoked some weed and had a great time. Plenty of jokes were made and it was like nothing had ever happened. But, little did I know, that would be the last time we ever hung out. After that, he cut all contact with me. All the history we had, all the moments we shared, all the times I stood up for him against his bullies, all of it was gone. I tried reaching out to him multiple times and he'd just see my message and leave me on read. I tried infrequently for the next year but never got a response.

He messaged me one time after a year stating that I didn't deserve his treatment. But after that... nothing. I realize now that our friendship wasn't meant to be. We'd probably still be "good friends" now if I've never told him of my zooey side. But it is what it is. I cannot change the past, I can only move forward. Losing him as a friend really did hurt at the time, and it's made me keep my mouth pretty much shut about it ever since. But at the same time, I've told one other non-zoo friend about my sexual orientation with animals and he couldn't give two craps about it. So you never know how someone will react. I was lucky that he never outed me because plenty of people have been outed this way.
Well just dont tell anyone....
 
For most people this is not a good choice. Not for the person, not for the people hes coming out to, and not to the critter either. The odds of even a little acceptance are not high; all it will accomplish is spreading whatever misery caused you to want to be "out "onto people you care for. It will put you at risk of a possible jail term or other restriction, it risks losing familial relationships, and your critter at risk of possible euthanasia. For what? Your peace of mind is not more important than anyone else's, and certainly not as important as your pet's life. Your friends, family and critters didn't force you into this. You may or may not have made a choice about this, but THEY certainly did not. Do you have the right to cause them anguish? The right to risk the critter you claim to love? What will being out get you you dont already have? The answer is: nothing
 
Coming out to your family? Not a good idea as it's highly unlikely that they would accept any of it.
Outside of here and formerly BF and a few people that were zoo, no one knows that I've been in relationships with zoo women. Am I embarrassed or ashamed? Hell No. I feel honored that the women that I knew were brave enough to trust me when I was with them. And I would never do anything to break that trust.
But it's just not worth the crap to deal with society and their bullshit. It's always going to remain a closed and tight knit community for a reason.
 
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Seriously, no.

As i said in another thread, it's only one part of your personality, and a very personal part none the less.
You may have luck with people that know you long enough and trust you wouldn't harm any animal or force them to do stuff they don't want.
On the other hand you may lose friends and family, even your job etc.

I'd think one should try to find out why a coming out is so important for oneself before doing it.

And if someone ever needs to talk about ones desires, this forum will be the best place for it.
 
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