jesshotdog
Tourist
My (31m) wife (28f) proposed an open marriage to explore her zoophilia
We have been married four years but have been together since college. A few years ago she confessed to being sexually attracted to male dogs and other male animals. Eventually she admitted that she has never been attracted to men at all, though she still loves me. It has been a challenging issue to work through, to say the least. She has felt shame-ridden about it for a long time and only recently has started to feel okay about her zoophilia.
Nonetheless, I was shocked the other night when, over dinner, she broached the subject of an open marriage. Under the arrangement, she would be free to explore sexual and romantic relationships with dogs and I would be allowed to have sex with other women. It’s clear she has thought about it in a lot of detail. She had terms and conditions for me ready to go (e.g. limits on money spent on girlfriends, not bringing them around family, acknowledging that romantic feelings are inevitable, etc.). She envisions that we will likely stop having sex, though remain loving and affectionate. In exchange for the above, she would be free to be as emotionally and physically intimate with her lovers as she likes, without guilt over cheating on or betraying me. Basically, if I agree to all this, she expects her new lover or lovers to become her main romantic focus. She emphasized for me to consider that it is possible she could fall in love and that could drastically impact our marriage in ways hard to predict.
I am torn. I want her to be happy and experience the intensity of love and passion that she’s kept herself from all her life. On the other hand, of course I feel a degree of loss with the revelation that I can never be the object of such desire. And now there is no putting the cat back in the back. To me, the very fact that she so lucidly proposed all this can’t be undone and has made everything irrevocably real.
How should I figure out my feelings about all this? Does anyone have experience with a similar open marriage situation? How did things develop? Good/bad? Will the jealousy be crippling? How will I feel the first time she does it?
We have been married four years but have been together since college. A few years ago she confessed to being sexually attracted to male dogs and other male animals. Eventually she admitted that she has never been attracted to men at all, though she still loves me. It has been a challenging issue to work through, to say the least. She has felt shame-ridden about it for a long time and only recently has started to feel okay about her zoophilia.
Nonetheless, I was shocked the other night when, over dinner, she broached the subject of an open marriage. Under the arrangement, she would be free to explore sexual and romantic relationships with dogs and I would be allowed to have sex with other women. It’s clear she has thought about it in a lot of detail. She had terms and conditions for me ready to go (e.g. limits on money spent on girlfriends, not bringing them around family, acknowledging that romantic feelings are inevitable, etc.). She envisions that we will likely stop having sex, though remain loving and affectionate. In exchange for the above, she would be free to be as emotionally and physically intimate with her lovers as she likes, without guilt over cheating on or betraying me. Basically, if I agree to all this, she expects her new lover or lovers to become her main romantic focus. She emphasized for me to consider that it is possible she could fall in love and that could drastically impact our marriage in ways hard to predict.
I am torn. I want her to be happy and experience the intensity of love and passion that she’s kept herself from all her life. On the other hand, of course I feel a degree of loss with the revelation that I can never be the object of such desire. And now there is no putting the cat back in the back. To me, the very fact that she so lucidly proposed all this can’t be undone and has made everything irrevocably real.
How should I figure out my feelings about all this? Does anyone have experience with a similar open marriage situation? How did things develop? Good/bad? Will the jealousy be crippling? How will I feel the first time she does it?
