I feel depressed by the lost of the love of my life some years ago...

So when I was in puberty I ordered something from the internet, and when the delivery man came to my house and I opened the door, a stray lovebird came flying to my shirt and stay hanged weakly from my chest. She looked so dirty and slim, so we though she escaped from another house and was fighting for her life, so we took her to the vet to see if she was going to be okay, that time we discovered she was female, so I named her Penny.

After we took her as part of my family, she soon became extremely attached to me, to the point she hated everyone else at home. She got healthy really soon and she looked gorgeous. We learned how to communicate with each other using whistles, so we created a language just for us.

Penny was almost all the time outside her cage, on my shoulder or my chest, and she surely loved to sleep while I pet her softly on my hands. She was so cute and beautiful. After a couple of days, she then started giving me kisses. It was so cute how she opened her beak a bit and used her tongue to give me little kisses. She then learned how to get to my mouth and started kissing me there, so soon she was making out with me for hours. I was falling for her extremely hard, to the point I though about her as my wife.

After some time, she started to become an extremely horny bird. Some lovebirds rub their cloaca like really hard with pointy objects to relieve themselves and she was no exception. She then started to use my toes, my fingers and my nose. I was getting extremely horny by her insistence and her noises. She looked like she was feeling really good so I used my tongue a bit, and after some time I took out my dick and she rubbed herself with the tip. I can swear I've never felt so good in my life, I came almost instantly. I got her cloaca really dirty and I think a bit got inside as well, it was so hot and pleasurable we repeated it lots of times. She was not only my wife, but my lover as well at that point. I don't know much about sexuality of birds, or even if she was feeling good, but I was passive so she was the one that always used my body to please herself.

One day I had to get out of my house to go to an exam, and it was really hot. We live in a very hot area, so we needed to take extreme care of her. After half an hour outside, my father texted me that she died on his hands by a heatstroke. She got really nervous I was not there, so she escaped from my parents and went to a hot place in my house.

I swear that, at that moment, my thoughts were to kill myself. I just lost the love of my life. She was my everything. After I got to my house we buried her in our garden, and every single day since then, for years, I always stopped before her to cry a bit.

She were with us for three years, and I know it was not much, but she was with me like almost 24/7 so it was like I became her other lovebird. I always think about her as my first true love and I cannot look at any other lovebird the same way. I just traumatized... My father offered to look for another lovebird bu he cannot understand my pain, she was unique.

Today I looked at her pictures and I cried heavily. I just felt the urge to tell someone about it. This is not something I could ever talk to my psychologist, not even my family. They knew we were really attached but not to the point we were lovers. Sorry if it seems weird or stupid. Thank you for reading. I might post two pics I have from her so you can see how she looked.

1690925998166.png
This was her after a couple of days at home. She still looked unhealthy but was recovering really good.
1690926072258.png
This was her after we became lovers. She was enjoying my pets while sleeping peacefully.
 
I'm sorry you had to go through that loss. Your relationship is a bit unconventional but you two obviously loved each other. I know how it feels to have your lover choose you first. Unfortunately, it's the zoophile's curse to loose their lovers over and over again. I hope you can let another into your heart.
 
I'm sorry you had to go through that loss. Your relationship is a bit unconventional but you two obviously loved each other. I know how it feels to have your lover choose you first. Unfortunately, it's the zoophile's curse to loose their lovers over and over again. I hope you can let another into your heart.
I just wish she was here with me
 
They all pass way too soon for sure, but the shock of an unexpected end like, that is really a total blow.

I also used to have small birds and grew absolutely attached to them. To the point I have none now. First I lost was devastating. Next ones just a little less each time just because I sort of "armored" myself.

In any case, as a friend said,
"Where there is love, shape does not matter"

Btw, there is also the "Rainbow Bridge" forum section if it helps you.
 
So when I was in puberty I ordered something from the internet, and when the delivery man came to my house and I opened the door, a stray lovebird came flying to my shirt and stay hanged weakly from my chest. She looked so dirty and slim, so we though she escaped from another house and was fighting for her life, so we took her to the vet to see if she was going to be okay, that time we discovered she was female, so I named her Penny.

After we took her as part of my family, she soon became extremely attached to me, to the point she hated everyone else at home. She got healthy really soon and she looked gorgeous. We learned how to communicate with each other using whistles, so we created a language just for us.

Penny was almost all the time outside her cage, on my shoulder or my chest, and she surely loved to sleep while I pet her softly on my hands. She was so cute and beautiful. After a couple of days, she then started giving me kisses. It was so cute how she opened her beak a bit and used her tongue to give me little kisses. She then learned how to get to my mouth and started kissing me there, so soon she was making out with me for hours. I was falling for her extremely hard, to the point I though about her as my wife.

After some time, she started to become an extremely horny bird. Some lovebirds rub their cloaca like really hard with pointy objects to relieve themselves and she was no exception. She then started to use my toes, my fingers and my nose. I was getting extremely horny by her insistence and her noises. She looked like she was feeling really good so I used my tongue a bit, and after some time I took out my dick and she rubbed herself with the tip. I can swear I've never felt so good in my life, I came almost instantly. I got her cloaca really dirty and I think a bit got inside as well, it was so hot and pleasurable we repeated it lots of times. She was not only my wife, but my lover as well at that point. I don't know much about sexuality of birds, or even if she was feeling good, but I was passive so she was the one that always used my body to please herself.

One day I had to get out of my house to go to an exam, and it was really hot. We live in a very hot area, so we needed to take extreme care of her. After half an hour outside, my father texted me that she died on his hands by a heatstroke. She got really nervous I was not there, so she escaped from my parents and went to a hot place in my house.

I swear that, at that moment, my thoughts were to kill myself. I just lost the love of my life. She was my everything. After I got to my house we buried her in our garden, and every single day since then, for years, I always stopped before her to cry a bit.

She were with us for three years, and I know it was not much, but she was with me like almost 24/7 so it was like I became her other lovebird. I always think about her as my first true love and I cannot look at any other lovebird the same way. I just traumatized... My father offered to look for another lovebird bu he cannot understand my pain, she was unique.

Today I looked at her pictures and I cried heavily. I just felt the urge to tell someone about it. This is not something I could ever talk to my psychologist, not even my family. They knew we were really attached but not to the point we were lovers. Sorry if it seems weird or stupid. Thank you for reading. I might post two pics I have from her so you can see how she looked.

View attachment 444788
This was her after a couple of days at home. She still looked unhealthy but was recovering really good.
View attachment 444790
This was her after we became lovers. She was enjoying my pets while sleeping peacefully.
I feel so sorry for your lose I know what you are going through as I can understand as I went through the process as you are when I lost my old dog, if you ever need to chat I am always open @MasterOfSlaves
 
They all pass way too soon for sure, but the shock of an unexpected end like, that is really a total blow.

I also used to have small birds and grew absolutely attached to them. To the point I have none now. First I lost was devastating. Next ones just a little less each time just because I sort of "armored" myself.

In any case, as a friend said,
"Where there is love, shape does not matter"

Btw, there is also the "Rainbow Bridge" forum section if it helps you.
I totally understand you. For me it's now impossible to think about any other bird. She was everything so I am totally armored about it.

What is that Rainbow Bridge section about?
 
i am very sorry, knew the feeling that a beloved animal tears a hole into u when it left into the eternity

only thing is to keep going on and at the natural end u will be united again
 
I totally understand you. For me it's now impossible to think about any other bird. She was everything so I am totally armored about it.
Do not block 100%, just... um... know it can happen and armour against that.

In my case it was rescued sparrows. Short lived and the first one was incredible. I kept finding one at times and cared, but in the end each one was... dumber? less interesting than the other.

So I finally thought the fun was not worth the lose. IF all had been like that first one, even the second... I'd still have one no matter the outcome

What is that Rainbow Bridge section about?
Special section for grieving and remembering passed animals.
This post (maybe lighter on graphical sex description) is exactly what it was intended for. Finding understanding in people who know what you feel. :)
Also protected zone against harsh disputes.
 
I see.
Do not block 100%, just... um... know it can happen and armour against that.

In my case it was rescued sparrows. Short lived and the first one was incredible. I kept finding one at times and cared, but in the end each one was... dumber? less interesting than the other.

So I finally thought the fun was not worth the lose. IF all had been like that first one, even the second... I'd still have one no matter the outcome


Special section for grieving and remembering passed animals.
This post (maybe lighter on graphical sex description) is exactly what it was intended for. Finding understanding in people who know what you feel. :)
Also protected zone against harsh disputes.
I see, thank you for letting me know, I will keep that in mind for future posts in case I need to. You are all so kind, I appreciate your understanding and compassion.
 
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