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How would you go about bringing up "we can have fun, if you'd like" to a newly adopted dog?

nekdoneco123

nekdoneco123

Esteemed Citizen of ZV
got a feeling that i should start this by stressing out that SEX IS NOT (AND SHOULDN'T EVER BE) THE MAIN OR A GOOD REASON TO ADOPT A DOG! i will also admit that i'm partially guilty of that, i did mainly focus on browsing through intact boys when looking for one to adopt, but he will have the final say in trying anything intimate and will be loved and cared for no matter what his decision will be. dogs deserve nothing less.

so with this out of my chest, i'll be meeting an intact boy in a few weeks. his current owners and i have come to an agreement that i'll be taking him in as a foster and if he "clicks" with me and more importantly with the other dogs (intact girl and "fixed" boy) i'll be keeping him forever.

last few days i'm kinda scratching my head over this (pretty dumb) thing: how does one even go about telling a dog "i'm available if interested" or how long does one wait for that? i mean, obviously you make him feel safe and cared for first. then you start building a relationship. i am pretty afraid my lust will get the better of me (i didn't do any "stuff" with a boy since may) and i'll do something inappropriate as soon as his ex-owners leave my house... potentially ruining his trust forever.

my only experiences with showing my partners we can be more than friends so far were:
my girl, she was a gift from a friend as a puppy, i showed interest in her "fun parts" when she was on her second heat. we had a very solid relationship by then. now she comes onto me when in heat.
my late boy, when i got him he was in no shape (both mentally and physically) for anything and to be honest i didn't take him in with a "vision of sex".. he was just an old boy nobody wanted who needed help. and we kinda grew into loving each other over time as both his body and spirit slowly healed... i'll probably never stop loving him

now, this boy, in his prime, not even 3 years old, strong, healthy with the only misfortune in his life being that his owners can't (or won't, i don't know for sure) care for him anymore... it's actually fairly intimidating, it will be a completely new experience for me.

anyone went through something similar? or just has some thoughts that might help? i really don't want to mess this important point of my life up. the only "plan" i currently have is to masturbate before they arrive so i hopefully don't get an erection when petting him "hello". might sound funny, but it really is a problem i have when touching most dogs and current weather we're having here (very very very hot) does not really support wearing jeans.
 
I think the dog will probably need a month to two months to acclimate to having a new owner and adjusting to the new home. Just focus on petting the dog, and let it sit on the sofa with you. Let it go from there I guess.
 
Establish a relationship. Get close. Play lots of regular play gets the fluids going. See how he is if you happen to brush by his personal aria. If you can catch him mounting things or you a good soft rub in the sweet spot can do the trick. If you can’t after a play section just rub his bits a bit and if he’s ok with it give him a soft jerk should do the trick.
 
With all of the dogs I have had, I always try and get to know them and their personality. I'll do things they like eg going on walks at the park, gift them the types of toys they like, buy a special bone, and tons of cuddles when I get any second of spare time. Dogs are creatures of body language once you feel ready and feel like you two have bonded enough trust wise depending on how you want to play broach the topic slowly. Depending I would start with belly rubs and licks to the face and go from there. I don't know if this helps. I would like to say that jumping right in does create a bridge of distrust for some time but thats all the advice I believe I can offer. Just remember that the way to any mammals heart is tasty food :p (including mine haha). He's in his prime and probably horny so just treat him like he is the center of your world and you both should be able to have a healthy and happy relationship.
 
Just a thought that I have, @nekdoneco123: maybe he will take that burden off you and bring it up himself. :) The second dog I've had the honor to be together with was trying to get onto me or at least hump some part of me on our second or third day already following innocent play in the garden. I just had to quickly get inside with him then in order not to worry the neighbors.

QuantumHusky said:
Just remember that the way to any mammals heart is tasty food :p (including mine haha).
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Indeed! My longtime four-legged partner often solicited sex after great meals. Also, the first time ever that he mounted me was after he had raided the kitchen in my absence. I thought the food was safe from him, but he proved me wrong. I can't say that I regretted my error though, given how frisky he was then. :)

Like @QuantumHusky said, this is not about bribing a dog with food. I've never used food in a sexual setting—it's neither a lure into the bedroom nor a post-sex reward. It's just that a happy dog whose appetite for food has been satisfied apparantly has a free mind for other fun activities. Maybe there's also some evolutionary mechanism behind this? Maybe being able to provide great meals makes us more attractive as mates.
 
guess i am mostly worrying over nothing after all, maybe he will bring it up himself in due time... maybe he'll react happily when touched there, who knows. or worst case scenario happens and my girl doesn't even like him, she is kinda picky with other dogs (well mostly with females, she liked every male so far)
gotta stay "in control" when around him tho, but that can probably be managed by simply masturbating more or at least before interacting with him
 
nekdoneco123 said:
guess i am mostly worrying over nothing after all, maybe he will bring it up himself in due time... maybe he'll react happily when touched there, who knows. or worst case scenario happens and my girl doesn't even like him, she is kinda picky with other dogs (well mostly with females, she liked every male so far)
gotta stay "in control" when around him tho, but that can probably be managed by simply masturbating more or at least before interacting with him
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How did you get your “fixed” god to mount? Mine will lick me and let me suck him off constantly but he never mounts ?
 
Bbw_k9love said:
How did you get your “fixed” god to mount? Mine will lick me and let me suck him off constantly but he never mounts ?
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this whole thread is about getting an intact boy soon-ish. i do have a "fixed" one too, he's not interested in anything intimate so i don't even try anymore. i got him mainly for my girl so she has a company while i'm at work after my first boy passed away. she picked him herself in the shelter. this particular boy this thread is about is my pick.
 
update: so instead of "in a few weeks" the meet and adoption happened today (i learned the poor boy being given away is a result of a divorce resolving sooner than anticipated) and it went fairly well. he seems to be the sweetest guy ever (a leonberger/gsd mix, more of a leo in appearance/size).

i'm just letting him acclimate, he takes being left kinda badly. switches from coming for pets to going to the gate whining a bit. and my girl seems to block some doorways for him "for funsies". i'm torn between intervening and letting them sort this out themselves...
 
so, it turns out i really was worried over nothing. he loves to cuddle and during one cuddling session i just kinda brushed along his sheath in a spot where the "behind the knot" should be and he humped away while laying on his side. i then stopped and got up, he got up as well and nuzzled my hand then turned his side to me which i interpreted as "more of that, please". ended up with me giving him "a hand" and a suck... plus side is that he stopped going to the gate after that. presumably looking for his ex-owners, tho i highly doubt they cared for him very much in the first place. they gave him over with nothing but his leash. no toys, not even his bowl and his vaccines are out of date, we are already booked at my vet.
 
Congrats on the new addition, sounds like you're both doing just fine. Reading your post brought back memories of when I got my lab boy and how it didn't start off so well. First my boy tried humping me in front of his ex-owners when I met him for the first time and i don't know how I kept my cool ? Then after I took him home, he spent the next 6 weeks constantly humping and play biting me. I resisted trying anything with him in case it made it worse and with training and settling in his dominant behavior stopped.

Back then one thing I learnt from BF is that dogs love routine and it helped me a lot. Before "fun time" maybe try doing something particular like get out a certain blanket or get naked and play fight with him, over time he will learn it as a cue to "it's okay to get horny now" and also it may help stop him humping everyone he meets ? Hope he settles in well
 
I'm glad it went so well!!. My best wishes to both of you!

I'm planning on doing something similar, trying to get an adult unfixed male dog once I can settle again.

Labraguy5 said:
Congrats on the new addition, sounds like you're both doing just fine. Reading your post brought back memories of when I got my lab boy and how it didn't start off so well. First my boy tried humping me in front of his ex-owners when I met him for the first time and i don't know how I kept my cool ? Then after I took him home, he spent the next 6 weeks constantly humping and play biting me. I resisted trying anything with him in case it made it worse and with training and settling in his dominant behavior stopped.

Back then one thing I learnt from BF is that dogs love routine and it helped me a lot. Before "fun time" maybe try doing something particular like get out a certain blanket or get naked and play fight with him, over time he will learn it as a cue to "it's okay to get horny now" and also it may help stop him humping everyone he meets ? Hope he settles in well
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Lol, yeah it's a good idea to make them associate sex with a special situation (even if we fantasy to fuck everywhere and all the time :husky_wink:). Just like only after being naked and in some particular area, like the bed (or at least the bedroom) and not in the middle of the living room with clothes on, since there is more chances for them to want to fuck your guest :husky_laughing:
 
thanks, the very first thing i gotta deal with about him is his very poor socialization.. he tries to lash out at pretty much everything, his ex-owners were actually pretty amazed he didn't went straight for my neck, too. just grinned his teeth and growled a bit. i let him sniff my hand and gave him a little scratch behind an ear and he calmed down. i don't think we zoos have some sort of "aura" they can sense, he might have just sensed me being super chill when meeting him...

he used to live in a pretty small flat and judging by the calluses on his legs i'd say he didn't see much of the outside, so it's no wonder he acts like he does when seeing anything... we're taking it super-slow. short walks, we'll maybe meet a single other person in a week or so. he seems pretty overwhelmed by just having a garden to explore and 2 other dogs to interact with.
 
what I'd do is once he was comfortable with me as his owner, if get naked,a nd copy what he does.... *shrugs* but ive never owned a dog
 
nekdoneco123 said:
thanks, the very first thing i gotta deal with about him is his very poor socialization.. he tries to lash out at pretty much everything, his ex-owners were actually pretty amazed he didn't went straight for my neck, too. just grinned his teeth and growled a bit. i let him sniff my hand and gave him a little scratch behind an ear and he calmed down. i don't think we zoos have some sort of "aura" they can sense, he might have just sensed me being super chill when meeting him...

he used to live in a pretty small flat and judging by the calluses on his legs i'd say he didn't see much of the outside, so it's no wonder he acts like he does when seeing anything... we're taking it super-slow. short walks, we'll maybe meet a single other person in a week or so. he seems pretty overwhelmed by just having a garden to explore and 2 other dogs to interact with.
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That sucks, I definitely think dogs can sense it. My girl was scared of everyone and everything when I got her a few years after my boy but she was fine with me, it took about a year to get her fully confident.

Yeah it sounds like he doesn't trust anyone to be in charge including his ex-owners, so he feels he has to protect himself. Once he learns he can trust you to be in charge he will relax, and it sounds like he already knows that. Your other two dogs will help teach him as well, I wouldn't be surprised if he starts to copy what they do.
 
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