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How was it accepting yourself?

ConfAndConf

ConfAndConf

Tourist
(Lemme know if this is in the wrong place or something)
Did you already know? Did it take a while or was it quick?
For me, honestly figured I'd stay the same with my feelings, or at the least they'd take a while to get through. Went pretty quick once I went through some stuff in the forum.
 
It was a slow an stressful process for me.
It took a while until I found other people on the internet with the same feelings that helped me to accept what I was.
Until that time I was not exactly sure what I should do.
 
I was in denial and ashamed for a period even after committing my act. Cognitive dissonance. It feels better to be open and honest with myself now.
 
I think I am still accepting myself, every day. I think for me it was initially a combination of sexual curiosity and then quickly realizing the layers of double standards concerning animals that society has. And then, of course, realizing how deeply taboo this all is, feeling crushingly isolated and navigating that. In the present I have a large degree of curiousity but in my life there are other pressing financial goals that need to be met. I have a couple friends now though who I can talk to. I was dating someone who knew about this for me, and does not approve of any of this in the slightest. Even after we stopped seeing each other we have been unable to talk about it. I don't know if we ever will, or talk in general ever talk again..... This saddens me. We were best friends. 😔 At some point, I'd like to find a partner, or partners who do understand and enjoy this too, but right now I'm just focusing on myself and my wellbeing. 😊
 
I honestly never even really thought about it like most people do. No guilt, no shame, no worries about what others might think. None of that.

I also always knew that this is a secret and it stays that way except for a few select people. And, that's honestly the only negative thought I ever had about any of it, that is, this needs to remain a dark dirty secret to the grave.
 
It was extremely slow and full of stress. Now I have no shame, but the guilt and shame way back used to be immense.

I honestly am still accepting myself, having a community with others like me helps me accept myself and how I am embracing the lifestyle.
 
It all came as a rush to me. My first sexual partner, realizing I was bi, experimenting with different sex and thus experiencing with a dog. It made me realize that all these ideas I'd had in my head, and feeling not-normal compared to other girls at school we're as abnormal as I thought.
 
For me it was a long way...
I was quite young when started feeling this curiosity and desire to experience it, and didn't feel bad about it. Then, after my first experience i felt ashamed, too guilty, felt like i was a trash person who didn't deserve anything good in life. For many years after that i tried to be a "normal" guy, to forget that and avoid everything related. In that time i change my mind a bit. Grown up and realized than i worried a lot about what was correct for society or what people thought.

There's social stigma towards things that aren't that bad at all, and that stigma change over time and region, so i don't care too much about it right now. Now i use my own judgement and see this just as something, not bad nor good, just something.

Also worth mentioning that internet allowed me to found other people that had struggle with similar situations. The few people i've in contact with (hope will be more in the future) are just normal people who just happens likes animals in this way. No horrible trash person who deserves everything bad, or monsters without feelings, just people.

To this day i don't think i've accepted myself 100%, but close. Feel way more comfortable with the fact that i like this. I even had a recent experience that i enjoyed a lot and feel ok with that, without all the awful feelings from the first experience.
 
Difficult to quantify. Following my divorce and getting a dog for protection it just happened when he started showing an interest in that way, I now see it as a natural progression.
 
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