How to work through the feelings of "shame"

[ZeroSum]

I've finally found the confidence to post something and acknowledge the zoo aspects of my sexuality. It's been a struggle trying to come to terms with it, and I was curious how other zoos worked through the feelings of confusion and "shame".

I don't really have anyone to vent with that would really be supportive and accepting, so lurking quietly around the community has helped to see I'm not alone to a degree.

 

[ZeroSum]

Hello friend, I go through the same problem, if you like this pleasure, there's nothing to be ashamed of, try looking for groups of zoos and start talking a little, I for example followed that and with time it got smaller. And I also keep my social life normally, just keeping my feelings secret. I hope I helped, you're better friend.

Thank you for your kind words. ?

 

[AriesAngyl]

One thing that you need to wrap your head around is you have an interest that is very different than most people. Most people would shun you if they knew how you felt.

It took me a long time to come to grips with that and to understand it’s ok to be different and to like different things as long as no one gets hurt and the dog is well taken care of.

My lifestyle is a super secret, but at the same time I love and enjoy it. I am comfortable with myself and once you get to that point and not worry about others, you will be a lot happier.

My German Shepard lives a pampered life and is treated like royalty. In my world everything is good to go. If I were to share it openly, it would be a problem so I just don’t. I keep it my super secret

 

[DogSong]

For me it was deep, introspective pondering.

Sexuality is a functionally minor aspect of our lives that we give outsized importance to. It just feels important to us because it's such a strong emotion with a deeply ingrained biological component to it. It's really a tiny aspect of who we are as a whole.

I'm zooexclusive, with a strong attraction towards dogs and a very weak attraction towards human women (it would take a lot to get me even remotely interested). It was a bit difficult coming to terms with the fact that I'm built different from the norm. But as I went through an exclusive relationship, I realised that my path isn't that much different from others. I work, have friends, and do everything else like everybody else. Most of my life doesn't even remotely involve my penis, so why should I let who I want to put my penis into guide my life?

Just be sure not to sacrifice any part of yourself that you hold dear to your sexuality, and don't use your sexuality to deal with problems in other aspects of your life. I've seen people in real life that decided that their sexuality was more important than anything else and they... got weird (and their lives kinda fell apart). I've also seen someone who became very anti-gay after dating another guy because he was using his sexuality to deal with other issues he had (heck, incels do this all the time). I didn't need to learn these lessons from them, but having seen the problems in action, I'm sure to avoid them.

In the end, we live in a world where zoos can hang out online, people realize that sexuality is vague, sexuality doesn't necessarily mean sex, and the pope welcomes homosexuals to church. You just have to think about where the source of your conflict comes from and ponder why it makes you feel that way and what you need to do (or what you need to accept) to change that. It takes time this way (and you may never completely remove the guilt, depending on where it comes from) but you'll have a healthier and richer life.

Or, at least, that's how I see it.

 

[canecorso]

For me it was deep, introspective pondering.

Sexuality is a functionally minor aspect of our lives that we give outsized importance to. It just feels important to us because it's such a strong emotion with a deeply ingrained biological component to it. It's really a tiny aspect of who we are as a whole.

I'm zooexclusive, with a strong attraction towards dogs and a very weak attraction towards human women (it would take a lot to get me even remotely interested). It was a bit difficult coming to terms with the fact that I'm built different from the norm. But as I went through an exclusive relationship, I realised that my path isn't that much different from others. I work, have friends, and do everything else like everybody else. Most of my life doesn't even remotely involve my penis, so why should I let who I want to put my penis into guide my life?

Just be sure not to sacrifice any part of yourself that you hold dear to your sexuality, and don't use your sexuality to deal with problems in other aspects of your life. I've seen people in real life that decided that their sexuality was more important than anything else and they... got weird (and their lives kinda fell apart). I've also seen someone who became very anti-gay after dating another guy because he was using his sexuality to deal with other issues he had (heck, incels do this all the time). I didn't need to learn these lessons from them, but having seen the problems in action, I'm sure to avoid them.

In the end, we live in a world where zoos can hang out online, people realize that sexuality is vague, sexuality doesn't necessarily mean sex, and the pope welcomes homosexuals to church. You just have to think about where the source of your conflict comes from and ponder why it makes you feel that way and what you need to do (or what you need to accept) to change that. It takes time this way (and you may never completely remove the guilt, depending on where it comes from) but you'll have a healthier and richer life.

Or, at least, that's how I see it.

I value your post, but I don't think the sexual aspect is the lone contributor to the "outsized importance". A big part, IMO actually the central part, of it is that we struggle against severe social stigma, which we find isn't justifiable on rational grounds. And thus inevitably, for the likes of me, zoophilia became a lens of truth.

 

[DogSong]

Oops friend, I understand, but I share my vision about how it was for me to deal with this and live normally. today, I'm bisexual and I have a sexual zoo life (both there is no difference in preference), and over time I found myself and now I feel less guilty, and I know what it's like to have this feeling, but I hope I have helped at least one little the guy above.

Oh, I actually thought your original post was a good one. My intention was simply to explain the philosophy that helped me through it. I hope I didn't offend, as that was not my intention.

I value your post, but I don't think the sexual aspect is the lone contributor to the "outsized importance". A big part, IMO actually the central part, of it is that we struggle against severe social stigma, which we find isn't justifiable on rational grounds. And thus inevitably, for the likes of me, zoophilia became a lens of truth.

I could have probably been clearer (title of my biography) when I said "outsized importance". If I'm understanding you correctly, it sounds like it may have read as "outsized in society's view" (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). I meant it as "we view our own sexuality with outsized importance to the other aspects of ourselves". To be fair, I intended the statement to be a bit reductive as I am aware that, with the breadth of personalities that exist, there are some that live their healthiest lives with their sexuality as their defining trait. Much in the same way that there are plenty of folks who view their love of alcohol as a defining trait but do not suffer from alcoholism.

The important part is the self-discovery and contemplation. It took time for me to understand it, but it was through this that I realized I was viewing the conflicts that lead to The Shame as a set of false, binary choices. Once I realized that, it became easier to find my healthy mindset.
This was my way- and perhaps it won't work for everyone- but I hope it helps show that there are many routes to self-acceptance.

 

[hornedgoat]

I'm experiencing the same feeling and I'd say that you should try to find others who also are zoos and interact.

Realize you're not alone and slowly start to feel less lonely, there's many of us and you are welcome in the community.

Come to terms with the fact that this is a part of you and decide if you want it to explore it or not

 

[MisterMarshall _]

it's a bit of a hard question but i'll give it a try.

what are you ashamed of? are you ashamed of not being what others expect you to be? are you ashamed of being happy the way you are? are you ashamed because you've been told so many times that being like you is wrong?

dont get me wrong, those are valid reasons to feel shame, humans are hardwired to want to be part of a group, a pack, so its hard to get out of the box without feeling like you ran past the mall naked, but as long as you internal logic remains consistent, and you don't believe you are doing anything wrong, you should be safe to atleast being able to be true to yourself without feeling shame. think of that and speak to yourself the question "am i broken? or just different?"