So I've been into and watching zoo porn for years, and even though I'm incredibly kinky, have had multiple kink relationships with others, I always kept zoo stuff hidden from everyone - I didn't even know forums like this existed until a few months ago. Just hanging around on here, and learning more about this side of me and feeling relieved I wasn't an anomaly, it sort of ignited a fire like feeling in my chest, I'd been hiding a huge part of myself for a very long time, from people I loved and have trusted with my life. I couldn't hold it in anymore, I had to open a vent valve before the feelings of being crushed by the weight of hiding this side of me got too much.
Thankfully, I know someone and thought that if I could tell anyone, it's them. He's one of my ex's who was also kinky. Big into anal play and over time had gone from normal dildos, to larger dildos, and then onto dog, wolf, and horse toys. So I sat and gathered up the courage and thought about how I could go about this. I then decided that if I didn't tell him now, I'd never be able to feel like I could tell anyone again.
I was sat staring at our telegram chat, and I was nervous. My watch kept warning me of a high heart rate alarm (over 120bpm while idle), I typed out "hey, can we have an open and honest chat? No holds barred, anything goes?" Being that my ex and I are still close, the response was "sure, what's up?"
At this point I was shaking, I could barely hold my phone, I was feeling like I was about to be sick because I felt like what I was about to type would erase everything between us, destroy our friendship, and would be spread around the kink scene leaving me vilified and rendered an outcast, or worse. I'd written it down and he could report me to the police for it. Needless to say, I was a hair's breadth away from a panic attack and thoughts of how I'd end my life if this all went wrong.
I started off by asking him how he got into the dog/wolf/horse dildos and thing like that and told him I was really intrigued by them. Led the conversation down the route of how hot the dog and horse ones looked as he agreed. I couldn't really beat around the bush much longer, so I responded with something along the lines of "here's the no holds barred part, I think they look hot as fuck, but I really want to feel a real one, hold a horse or a dog cock and try and bring one to orgasm"
In the moments between the two ticks signifying the message had been read, and the typing animation showing he was typing, it felt like I'd been dropped into the floor so hard, my knees were now my feet, it felt like I'd been hit over the head and my vision was spinning - that's how nervous and freaked out I was waiting for the response. What I got in return was such a relief! I got a sticker of one character giving the other head pats and told that he also finds it quite hot, and would like to join in with some fun if I ever did get into a situation in which he would be welcome.
The best but was when I mentioned I want to experience a dog knot, he said he'd love to have his dick down my throat at the same time, but then wouldn't know who he was calling a good boy at the end of it.
To this day, he is the only person I have ever told about this side of me that I know in person, and I sadly think that it will remain that way and my dreams of getting some experience will remain just that, dreams.