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Tourist
I'm so happy to have found this place! I've always had zoophilic urges as well as gender dysphoria but only just accepted those parts of myself. I want to be mounted and knotted sometime soon so badly lol.
My family had a dog when I was a kid and I loved her a whole bunch in an initially platonic way and she slept in my bed with me every night. After I started puberty I was annoyed to feel a libido but no attraction to any people! It was frustrating to have those bodily feelings but nowhere to put them. That changed when I was 13 and had a dream where I had sex with our dog and from them on wanted to act on it in real life. I knew that it was "wrong" to have sex with animals but that didn't make my urges vanish, it just made me feel gross and perverted in a way I couldn't tell anyone about.
Later when I was home alone I gave in to those urges and tried rubbing myself against her side. She didn't seem to like it so I stopped and felt guilty about doing something sexual with a dog and maybe making her uncomfortable, though she still loved me more than anyone else in the house after that.
Since then I've repressed those feelings as hard as I could and always insisted that bestiality was wrong and harmful no matter what evidence I saw to the contrary and despite my own past actions. My feelings of shame only increased in tandem with my gender dysphoria and made me feel like a disgusting man that raped animals or something. In hindsight I was a sort of cocktail of terrible thought processes in a severely repressed and abused person. I couldn't accept that I might be trans for so long, or that I liked the male anatomy rather than female, or that it was possible for a healthy sexual/romantic relationship to exist between people and animals.
When I look back I realize how much pain I was in, that she seemed to be the only creature who loved me, and that I thought that as a "boy" I could only be with a girl romantically/sexually. Honestly if I just had a male dog that could top me back then a lot of these negative thoughts could have been avoided lol. Or more likely had an elder zoo/trans person to assure me that I wasn't just a sick degenerate and could explore my feelings in healthy ways rather than outbursts I would regret. As of now I think of myself as a straight trans girl primarily interested in male dogs though I wouldn't reject any other relations, I just won't put much effort in seeking them out. I've only had (unsatisfying) sex with men until now, the aforementioned humping incident is the closest I've come to having sex with a woman lmao.
I'm sooooo happy to see how many of us there are and that it's possible to be loved and accepted as I am. I'm so excited to talk to new people and make friends here, as I'm really shy in real life and have often been equally shy online. I live in Iowa, like video games, want to be a writer, haven't started presenting femme yet, and would love to talk about anything.
My family had a dog when I was a kid and I loved her a whole bunch in an initially platonic way and she slept in my bed with me every night. After I started puberty I was annoyed to feel a libido but no attraction to any people! It was frustrating to have those bodily feelings but nowhere to put them. That changed when I was 13 and had a dream where I had sex with our dog and from them on wanted to act on it in real life. I knew that it was "wrong" to have sex with animals but that didn't make my urges vanish, it just made me feel gross and perverted in a way I couldn't tell anyone about.
Later when I was home alone I gave in to those urges and tried rubbing myself against her side. She didn't seem to like it so I stopped and felt guilty about doing something sexual with a dog and maybe making her uncomfortable, though she still loved me more than anyone else in the house after that.
Since then I've repressed those feelings as hard as I could and always insisted that bestiality was wrong and harmful no matter what evidence I saw to the contrary and despite my own past actions. My feelings of shame only increased in tandem with my gender dysphoria and made me feel like a disgusting man that raped animals or something. In hindsight I was a sort of cocktail of terrible thought processes in a severely repressed and abused person. I couldn't accept that I might be trans for so long, or that I liked the male anatomy rather than female, or that it was possible for a healthy sexual/romantic relationship to exist between people and animals.
When I look back I realize how much pain I was in, that she seemed to be the only creature who loved me, and that I thought that as a "boy" I could only be with a girl romantically/sexually. Honestly if I just had a male dog that could top me back then a lot of these negative thoughts could have been avoided lol. Or more likely had an elder zoo/trans person to assure me that I wasn't just a sick degenerate and could explore my feelings in healthy ways rather than outbursts I would regret. As of now I think of myself as a straight trans girl primarily interested in male dogs though I wouldn't reject any other relations, I just won't put much effort in seeking them out. I've only had (unsatisfying) sex with men until now, the aforementioned humping incident is the closest I've come to having sex with a woman lmao.
I'm sooooo happy to see how many of us there are and that it's possible to be loved and accepted as I am. I'm so excited to talk to new people and make friends here, as I'm really shy in real life and have often been equally shy online. I live in Iowa, like video games, want to be a writer, haven't started presenting femme yet, and would love to talk about anything.
well I’m glad you’re all here too! The breast side we tend to have to hide irl buuut you should proudly present who you are as a woman! Be you!
