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Have you ever felt so strong, yet so weak at the same time?

CaptainK9

CaptainK9

Tourist
Sorry for the random topic, I'm just at a cross-roads right now (alcohol helps)

I loaned a friend $150, going out of my way, facing the horrible winds and [some] snow to get it to him. He's in a horrible situation as well, so it wasn't a pain.

What sucks is I'm close to being homeless and a dog that's very ill. I have the money to treat her, but only for a short time, which makes me cry like a child.

I suppose the point of this topic is: I'll always help a friend, but I can't help everyone. I feel so weak as a man :cry:
 
CaptainK9 said:
Sorry for the random topic, I'm just at a cross-roads right now (alcohol helps)

I loaned a friend $150, going out of my way, facing the horrible winds and [some] snow to get it to him. He's in a horrible situation as well, so it wasn't a pain.

What sucks is I'm close to being homeless and a dog that's very ill. I have the money to treat her, but only for a short time, which makes me cry like a child.

I suppose the point of this topic is: I'll always help a friend, but I can't help everyone. I feel so weak as a man :cry:
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I... I don't have any words. You're in a FUBAR situation and you're going out of your way to help someone else? Respect my friend, respect. If only there were more people with working hearts around...
 
Something I have to remind myself is this.
You can't help others if you do not take care of yourself.
If you do not do the things you need for you eventually you will run out and be the one in need. It is difficult to see others in suffering and trouble but also if you give up everything you will become that person in need and just be in the same place. I had to remove some people from my life because the only time I heard from them is when they needed things and I would help but as I was doing that my life was collapsing around me and it got to the point that I could do less and less. I realized I needed to fix my life and then if I could help others. I still will go out of my way to help people but I also know (and this it important) That sometimes I am the person I need to go out of my way to help.
Just something to think about.
 
It's funny (and not)..
The friend Ioaned money to had a chat with me this morning for about 2 hours, saying about how he "wants to die already" and tried to commit suicide. Preach to the choir, brother, because everything he said wasn't anything new that I haven't tried. I'm no Psychiatrist or Counselor, but I feel bad that I can't help him more.

Can't be helped if you can't help yourself, I suppose..
 
CaptainK9 said:
and tried to commit suicide
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I'm sincerely sorry, but suicide is fucking stupid. Unless one has a terminal condition that causes severe pain and is only going to get worse, suicide is a selfish cop-out. It takes away all you'll really ever have, and destroys those who love you. Tomorrow might be a brighter day. Or the next day. If you strip away all the useless shit we claim as "important" or "needed", all you have left is your life, which is short enough as it is.
I commend you on your selflessness. I, too, have given money to friends in need when I really needed it myself. You're a champion.
 
IHO said:
I'm sincerely sorry, but suicide is fucking stupid. Unless one has a terminal condition that causes severe pain and is only going to get worse, suicide is a selfish cop-out. It takes away all you'll really ever have, and destroys those who love you.
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Had to post a sad feeling about that - it shows a lack of empathy as to what would drive someone to attempt or commit suicide in the first place.
 
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IHO said:
I'm sincerely sorry, but suicide is fucking stupid. Unless one has a terminal condition that causes severe pain and is only going to get worse, suicide is a selfish cop-out. It takes away all you'll really ever have, and destroys those who love you. Tomorrow might be a brighter day. Or the next day. If you strip away all the useless shit we claim as "important" or "needed", all you have left is your life, which is short enough as it is.
I commend you on your selflessness. I, too, have given money to friends in need when I really needed it myself. You're a champion.
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Constant continuous emotional pain hurts as bad or worse than physical pain and it is more difficult to overcome and treat. The argument is the same it is just that emotional traumas can not be easily seen but can be more devastating than physical ones. I agree people should seek help and try every other method but not all are able to. I think people should not have to get to that point but I can understand the hopelessness that goes into such a choice. When potential oblivion is better than a current existence there has been a lot that has failed that person and the peace in not existing seems better than reaching for something you feel is always going to be out of your grasp. Is is rational, No it is not but that dark place is not a rational place it is a place one can not see hope and thinks that any hope will lead to pain as it will be crushed.
I ask that anyone in this place keep trying to reach out and also seek professional help but I will not judge those that do make that final choice. Their pain is just that great and it wears one down day by day, year by year.
 
Okay, you both are right. I hadn't thought of that. I have been there myself.. feeling like there is nothing worth living for. My response was insensitive to that.
 
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IHO said:
Okay, you both are right. I hadn't thought of that. I have been there myself.. feeling like there is nothing worth living for. My response was insensitive to that.
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Remember im about to experience that same feeling when my girl passes. I hope she lives longer then average. I love her to tears.
 
Reconscope said:
Remember im about to experience that same feeling when my girl passes. I hope she lives longer then average. I love her to tears.
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You and me both. People always ask "so what're you gonna do when your dog dies?" She's my everything, so my response is always "probably just kill myself"
Suicide is dumb, but I honestly can't see a life without her. Not to mention my health is declining anyway.

If you're already suffering in pain and will be dead, I think it's ok. The people that kill themselves for being bullied or are just angsty are fucking cowards. I was bullied plenty of times. Guess what?! I didn't shoot up my school or kill myself. Then again, I was raised better from my Nana. :)
 
My other half is the same way, CaptK9 .. He wars his heart on his sleeve and helps everyone (friends more than strangers, but he does try). I am the opposite (but help emotionally and talk to family and friends in need.) It drives me crazy sometimes for him to always go out of his way even when he, himself, needs help or doesn't have the $$$ to do so. I tell him that I would not ever try to change him! He (and you) are a rare breed in this world.
 
Kurious2Sum said:
My other half is the same way, CaptK9 .. He wars his heart on his sleeve and helps everyone (friends more than strangers, but he does try). I am the opposite (but help emotionally and talk to family and friends in need.) It drives me crazy sometimes for him to always go out of his way even when he, himself, needs help or doesn't have the $$$ to do so. I tell him that I would not ever try to change him! He (and you) are a rare breed in this world.
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I haven't always been so benevolent. Hell, there are still times I'd like to raze the city to the ground. I think it's just facing my own mortality and realizing that I won't be around forever that I want to do something noble before I go. That's why I've been helping anyone I can since my life has been shit. I've looked into going back to University to study up more on Veterinary Science.
 
CaptainK9 said:
You and me both. People always ask "so what're you gonna do when your dog dies?" She's my everything, so my response is always "probably just kill myself"
Suicide is dumb, but I honestly can't see a life without her. Not to mention my health is declining anyway.

If you're already suffering in pain and will be dead, I think it's ok. The people that kill themselves for being bullied or are just angsty are fucking cowards. I was bullied plenty of times. Guess what?! I didn't shoot up my school or kill myself. Then again, I was raised better from my Nana. :)
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About shooting up schools i mainly blame the bullies and the system. Bullies that torment for fun are scum imo while the system ignores the victim and protects the bully until its too late then gets surprised when the victim emotionally explodes then creates more victims due to this outburst of their failure as a system. I see it as a revenge vs the society. Suicide is only dumb if its meaningless when theres many life options still left. I believe ONLY consider it if practically EVERYTHING failed also if your only future is either potato/painful.
 
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