Good ER excuses from an accident
- Thread starter VinnyB
- Start date
dartel
Prized Citizen of ZV
To quote Cosmo Kramer:
Have you ever *met* a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. *Plant* yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they *stuck* something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one."
Have you ever *met* a proctologist? Well, they usually have a very good sense of humor. You meet a proctologist at a party, don't walk away. *Plant* yourself there, because you will hear the funniest stories you've ever heard. See, no one wants to admit to them that they *stuck* something up there. Never! It's always an accident. Every proctologist story ends in the same way: "It was a million to one shot, Doc. Million to one."
nekdoneco123
Esteemed Citizen of ZV
chances of that happening are so slim (the knot doesn't typically go in nor out fully inflated) i've never given it any thought... so i'd probably go with too large toy/person entering me.
applies to urologists as well. i used to play games with one and he had some pretty hilarious stories. some guys will let their dicks literally blacken with necrosis before seeking help, because it's apparently shameful or whatever to have something wrong with your penis. or a dude with a piece of tomato peel under his foreskin because washing it after anal sex with his wife never crossed his mind.
VinnyB
Tourist
and how would you clean the dog cum? just water or lea
did someone actually have a tomato peel under their foreskin? if so then I have questions
Aleeah2002
Tourist
yeah it's a whole double standard. society says women r supposed to douche, spritz, spray, and do everything under the sun but dudes don't have to wash their shit like ever.
N
NewCaineFluf
Guest
Yea there are an absolute ton of double standards out there, and in reality it honestly comes down to talking with that other person that why there won't be a double standard inside your own relationships of whatever kind with those people. Communication is both the gate and key to change things.
Bloodwolf
Dumpster Diver
You must know tank people then. I don’t even engage with my dog without showering myself.
saddlebum66
Supreme Citizen of ZV
Gotta wonder who taught such people Hygiene
Thisisnotabot
Tourist
Heh, already happened once to me, had rough entry with a dog, stabbed me a bit with his baculum and had a lot of bleeding, ended up being in pain for almost 2 weeks (not too bad pain, otherwise I would have gone sooner) before I ended up visiting a doctor. Mentioned all symtomps and and added a "hurt myself with a toy" at the end.
Goattobeloved
Esteemed Citizen of ZV
A excuse us evident the moment you try to volunteer all the unneeded details.
Have your whole story ready, but just talk about your problem. If any detail is needed, they will ask and you only give the necessary information as asked.
Have your whole story ready, but just talk about your problem. If any detail is needed, they will ask and you only give the necessary information as asked.
Riotinthesheets2
BANNED
oversized dildo, anal sex that was too rough, not enough lube. injuries should not happen if the dog is calm and stays still and the human is adjusted and trained for the size. A first timer should not be trying with a lab or st bernard as their first time.
As far as stories and excuses go, less is more. the more details you state without being prompted the more rehearsed it sounds and they will not believe it. Instead of saying it was a large pink dildo that was 10 inches just say the dildo was too big. if they ask the size then state the size. they probably won't ask how it happened or how fast you were going. they really do not care they just want to be sure nothing is stuck up there.
As far as stories and excuses go, less is more. the more details you state without being prompted the more rehearsed it sounds and they will not believe it. Instead of saying it was a large pink dildo that was 10 inches just say the dildo was too big. if they ask the size then state the size. they probably won't ask how it happened or how fast you were going. they really do not care they just want to be sure nothing is stuck up there.
VinnyB
Tourist
Being the genius that I am, i'd probably still try to take something like a st bernard as a first timer.
Like the others have mentioned, the excuse that you've taken a dildo a little too large for your rectum is the easiest and simplest excuse. Most doctors aren't going to laugh in your face, first priority is to get you treated, second priority is getting your money.
Yeah no. Not washing your junk is a good way to end up with an infection. Not only that, it's a good way for your female companion to end up with an infection as well. Before I even touch my girl, usually the first thing I do is hop in the shower and thoroughly rise my junk off, even if I took a shower 5 hours earlier. I'm not looking to give my girl a UTI. But I guess it's continent to lump all men into one stereotype.