goldenretrieverenthusiast
Lurker
I have a lot on my mind and this may be a long post. TL;DR choosing the best place to live is a big, tough choice, even tougher if you love animals, and even more difficult if zoophilia is a factor. Being somewhere you can make the most difference may require personal sacrifice.
To start with, I'd like to introduce myself. I am 32, male (he/him), zoo-exclusive, heterosexual and attracted to canines in that regard, and I live in the U.S. I have zero interest in a human romantic partner. Sharing my life with a wonderful dog or two is all I really want.
I have had one canine partner before. She was this neighborhood stray a friend of mine had been caring for, needed a home, so I adopted her. Mixed breed girl with a lot of corgi in her, big ol bat ears, dorky little legs, the cutest snaggle tooth. Despite being a feral street dog she was super sweet and well behaved. My career as a truck driver let me take her with me to work so she never had to be alone, and she seemed to really enjoy exploring the country with me. My co-pilot out there on the highways of America.
My favorite memory of her is the first time she saw snow. She was a stray from Texas, so she had no idea what she was looking at. Started barking at the snow, eating it, pouncing on it. I remember she jumped into a deep snowdrift and vanished. I had to dig her out.
Although she was intact and did go into estrus, she made it clear that she did not want anything to do with intimate handling, that she was very uncomfortable with it, and so I respected her and kept our relationship strictly platonic (except for French kissing if you count that as intimacy, an activity she seemed to really enjoy and often initiated).
She passed in 2016 to brain cancer when she was only four. Her loss devastated me so much that I quit my career and moved out of state to be near family. I've been stuck in a rut working dead end jobs since then, but things are getting better with time. I'm in college now, working on a computer science degree, with the goal of one day working from home since that would be perfect for a dog.
I've had a lot of time to think about the future, what I want to do, where I want to be. There's really no easy choices.
I'm in a northern state now that has amazing animal welfare, one of the best dog friendly cities in the US. That's why I moved here, and I do feel at peace compared to life back in Texas. While the lone star state has animal welfare laws on the books and certain cities are great, there's an ocean of difference between a law existing and a law being enforced.
I discovered this personally whenever I took the drive out to visit my folks in the country. They had neighbors a few miles away who ran a dog fighting ring. My folks reported them to the authorities, and the county animal control told them that they did not have the resources and would not be doing anything about it. There were also a lot of people who dumped dogs on their property, sometimes in bad condition, since it was a small town and everyone knew my folks were the local dog people who were always happy to foster and care for strays.
In my new city, there's nothing like that. Animal welfare is really strict here. There's deputized animal welfare officers who can intervene or even surrender a pet. I have never seen a single dog left outside all day on a chain like you see everywhere in the southern states. This is a city of dog lovers, my culture, my people, even if they would see me as the enemy if they knew the truth about me.
I'm at peace here. Not happy, but at peace. But, I can't stop asking myself if it's the right choice.
I feel like I took the cowards way out. Ran away from battle, for the sake of my emotional health. Maybe it was the right move, maybe it was the right decision at the time while I was in a deep rut of depression and grief, but maybe I shouldn't stay here forever.
Lately I've been thinking, after I graduate and get some career experience, a work from home job that lets me move anywhere, I might go back to the south. Buy a home in a rural area where animal welfare is a non issue.
The animals of my city are safe and loved. At risk pets have a social safety net. Local businesses make donations each year that guarantee the humane society can keep doing their amazing work. This is a good place to be an animal.
But who is going to love and care for the pets in a part of the country where being kind to animals is an alien concept? Where many -- not all, but many -- citizens and authorities either actively abuse and neglect pets, or look the other way. How much more of a difference could I make if I had a home like my folks did, in the country?
My abnormal preference for an animal partner is also relevant in this concern. Where I am now, I am the enemy. To remain here is to walk on eggshells, paranoid and cautious, weighing every single word I say. Paying big money for an attorney, building a legal defense, hoping for the best in case the worst comes to pass.
Insofar as bestiality is falsely linked to animal abuse regardless of context, it therefore stands to reason that a place where the way animals are treated is a lower priority and a place in the country where no one cares what their neighbors do would be a safe place to be a zoophile in the modern day.
Yes, I understand how small town America works. I haven't lived it, but I get that everyone knows everyone. The "new weirdo who moved in from out of town who likes dogs a bit too much" isn't going to keep his preferences a secret for long. But I get the feeling the reaction would be much less hostile than in a big northern urban area.
I could purchase a house in a rural area with a big yard for my own dogs and the countless strays that I will doubtless be caring for. There will be an endless expanse of untouched nature, which is basically paradise to a dog. Nature trails forever. Hiking, camping, swimming, boating, fishing trips. Just have to watch out for snakes in the south.
I could take a canine first aid course, roll up my sleeves, grit my teeth, and fight the good fight. Rehab and care for any injured dogs out there far away from the nearest vet clinic. Live in aggressive neutrality with the people out there responsible for dog fighting, understanding that there's nothing I could do. Not if the authorities don't care. You do not mess with dangerous people like that in the country, especially if you have pets you want to keep safe.
There would be plenty of good times too. Befriend some strays and make a bunch of new canine pals. Get in touch with local rescue groups and find homes for them, get help with feeding them all. Make a hell of a lot of difference in the world.
But this course of action would require sacrificing my emotional health. I was angry and upset all the time living in Texas, knowing the awful stuff that went on and feeling powerless to stop it. Of course, I didn't have a dog by my side during that chapter in my life. I was mourning the loss of a wonderful and sweet girl who had just started coming out of her shell and trusting strangers when an inoperable tumor took her away from me.
Maybe I'll feel better equipped to handle the negatives with the positive balance of doing good and caring for pups, with dogs of my own to offer the emotional support and love that only a dog can.
Do I stay here, in the north, in a big city that is the place to be for dogs and the people who love them? Or do I return to the part of the country where I was raised, and return with a vengeance, saving hundreds of lives and being a chaotic good force for positive change? With a quality college level career, I could also support the people and groups out in the country who do care and who share my ambition of making a difference.
I'll have five or six years to think about it while I'm on the grind, working full time and doing school part time. I don't know what the right answer is.
To start with, I'd like to introduce myself. I am 32, male (he/him), zoo-exclusive, heterosexual and attracted to canines in that regard, and I live in the U.S. I have zero interest in a human romantic partner. Sharing my life with a wonderful dog or two is all I really want.
I have had one canine partner before. She was this neighborhood stray a friend of mine had been caring for, needed a home, so I adopted her. Mixed breed girl with a lot of corgi in her, big ol bat ears, dorky little legs, the cutest snaggle tooth. Despite being a feral street dog she was super sweet and well behaved. My career as a truck driver let me take her with me to work so she never had to be alone, and she seemed to really enjoy exploring the country with me. My co-pilot out there on the highways of America.
My favorite memory of her is the first time she saw snow. She was a stray from Texas, so she had no idea what she was looking at. Started barking at the snow, eating it, pouncing on it. I remember she jumped into a deep snowdrift and vanished. I had to dig her out.
Although she was intact and did go into estrus, she made it clear that she did not want anything to do with intimate handling, that she was very uncomfortable with it, and so I respected her and kept our relationship strictly platonic (except for French kissing if you count that as intimacy, an activity she seemed to really enjoy and often initiated).
She passed in 2016 to brain cancer when she was only four. Her loss devastated me so much that I quit my career and moved out of state to be near family. I've been stuck in a rut working dead end jobs since then, but things are getting better with time. I'm in college now, working on a computer science degree, with the goal of one day working from home since that would be perfect for a dog.
I've had a lot of time to think about the future, what I want to do, where I want to be. There's really no easy choices.
I'm in a northern state now that has amazing animal welfare, one of the best dog friendly cities in the US. That's why I moved here, and I do feel at peace compared to life back in Texas. While the lone star state has animal welfare laws on the books and certain cities are great, there's an ocean of difference between a law existing and a law being enforced.
I discovered this personally whenever I took the drive out to visit my folks in the country. They had neighbors a few miles away who ran a dog fighting ring. My folks reported them to the authorities, and the county animal control told them that they did not have the resources and would not be doing anything about it. There were also a lot of people who dumped dogs on their property, sometimes in bad condition, since it was a small town and everyone knew my folks were the local dog people who were always happy to foster and care for strays.
In my new city, there's nothing like that. Animal welfare is really strict here. There's deputized animal welfare officers who can intervene or even surrender a pet. I have never seen a single dog left outside all day on a chain like you see everywhere in the southern states. This is a city of dog lovers, my culture, my people, even if they would see me as the enemy if they knew the truth about me.
I'm at peace here. Not happy, but at peace. But, I can't stop asking myself if it's the right choice.
I feel like I took the cowards way out. Ran away from battle, for the sake of my emotional health. Maybe it was the right move, maybe it was the right decision at the time while I was in a deep rut of depression and grief, but maybe I shouldn't stay here forever.
Lately I've been thinking, after I graduate and get some career experience, a work from home job that lets me move anywhere, I might go back to the south. Buy a home in a rural area where animal welfare is a non issue.
The animals of my city are safe and loved. At risk pets have a social safety net. Local businesses make donations each year that guarantee the humane society can keep doing their amazing work. This is a good place to be an animal.
But who is going to love and care for the pets in a part of the country where being kind to animals is an alien concept? Where many -- not all, but many -- citizens and authorities either actively abuse and neglect pets, or look the other way. How much more of a difference could I make if I had a home like my folks did, in the country?
My abnormal preference for an animal partner is also relevant in this concern. Where I am now, I am the enemy. To remain here is to walk on eggshells, paranoid and cautious, weighing every single word I say. Paying big money for an attorney, building a legal defense, hoping for the best in case the worst comes to pass.
Insofar as bestiality is falsely linked to animal abuse regardless of context, it therefore stands to reason that a place where the way animals are treated is a lower priority and a place in the country where no one cares what their neighbors do would be a safe place to be a zoophile in the modern day.
Yes, I understand how small town America works. I haven't lived it, but I get that everyone knows everyone. The "new weirdo who moved in from out of town who likes dogs a bit too much" isn't going to keep his preferences a secret for long. But I get the feeling the reaction would be much less hostile than in a big northern urban area.
I could purchase a house in a rural area with a big yard for my own dogs and the countless strays that I will doubtless be caring for. There will be an endless expanse of untouched nature, which is basically paradise to a dog. Nature trails forever. Hiking, camping, swimming, boating, fishing trips. Just have to watch out for snakes in the south.
I could take a canine first aid course, roll up my sleeves, grit my teeth, and fight the good fight. Rehab and care for any injured dogs out there far away from the nearest vet clinic. Live in aggressive neutrality with the people out there responsible for dog fighting, understanding that there's nothing I could do. Not if the authorities don't care. You do not mess with dangerous people like that in the country, especially if you have pets you want to keep safe.
There would be plenty of good times too. Befriend some strays and make a bunch of new canine pals. Get in touch with local rescue groups and find homes for them, get help with feeding them all. Make a hell of a lot of difference in the world.
But this course of action would require sacrificing my emotional health. I was angry and upset all the time living in Texas, knowing the awful stuff that went on and feeling powerless to stop it. Of course, I didn't have a dog by my side during that chapter in my life. I was mourning the loss of a wonderful and sweet girl who had just started coming out of her shell and trusting strangers when an inoperable tumor took her away from me.
Maybe I'll feel better equipped to handle the negatives with the positive balance of doing good and caring for pups, with dogs of my own to offer the emotional support and love that only a dog can.
Do I stay here, in the north, in a big city that is the place to be for dogs and the people who love them? Or do I return to the part of the country where I was raised, and return with a vengeance, saving hundreds of lives and being a chaotic good force for positive change? With a quality college level career, I could also support the people and groups out in the country who do care and who share my ambition of making a difference.
I'll have five or six years to think about it while I'm on the grind, working full time and doing school part time. I don't know what the right answer is.