The one girl I was talking to years ago said you need to train them when it's allowed and forbidden. Otherwise they might try and take you in front of company or even try humping the company. Probably would be the wrong kind of stuffing at the family Thanksgiving! She used different triggers to let her boys know over the years when it was allowed. One was a blanket she would take and lay out, another was a specific t-shirt she would wear. These were the triggers (Pavlov's dog?) that now they were allowed to mount her. Once they knew this, she never had a problem with them misbehaving and doing anything to embarrass or even give her secret away. She recommended this to anyone first getting involved and training their boy. Either a shirt, blanket, towel, throw rug, but something that was never seen or used unless for their time together. I think she also used something bright that would stand out from anything else she might have similar. This way she remains boss until it was his time to dominate her. Of course, I've also read women post here and elsewhere that they don't care about being in control, they say they submit anytime he wants it. So maybe in the long run it's up to how much control you want.