As planned, I'd like to briefly summarize my first time, which happened a few hours ago as I write.
There is still a lot going on in my head plus i really need to unwind my thoughts and impressions, so my text may is a bumpy read. Also I have the feeling I can not even express myself in a proper way in my first language to point out all the intricate nuonces of my feelings at the moment..the harder it is in english.
I found a lot of tutorials on this website do an awesome job in order to give an idea what will happen on a physical level but kind of lack the emotional aspect, so maybe the overload and confusion can turn out helpful for people who struggle and are afraid of what to expect .
Introduction
I'm 19 years old (turn 20 in a few months) and live alone at the moment. I had a first and only sexual encounter a few years ago when I was in school which were an few unique licks. I kind of enjoyed it but on the other hand it grossed me and i was ashamed of my positive reaction. My response was to strongly push away any thoughts related to this very subject and kind of force myself to feel bad for even thinking about it. I guess a lot of people had similar experiences as soon as they realized their own attitude.
Anyway - as I finished school and moved into my own apartment i had the chance to pick a puppy, since a neighbour's dog had a litter of small rottweiler (with a small amount of labrador influence) and they offered me to pick one, since they wanted to give them away to other villagers aswell.
For me he became a good friend, companion who brings so much joy in my life, especially since the lockdown took place, which cuts a lot of time with friends and makes it hard to meet friends on the weekend. I am really happy to have him around and being able to pass the time with him.
Almost 2 years passed since I got him and a few months ago I recognized a raising sexual desire..maybe I am projecting my own thoughts into his behavior but he became more interested (or at least I interpret something like this) in me.
It expresses itself by him trying to be closer to me, sniffing between my legs, initiating more plays and more body contact and on rare occasions I allowed him to lend me a hand, or a tongue. - I tried to limit it mostly because I'm the opinion that I, as a owner, should remain in control at any given time, so he can't hurt or scare other people due to aloofness and my concern was (and still is) that i loose control.
But also I really enjoyed him to lick me and the idea of going one step further became more present in my fantasy.
Preparation
As the mutual interest grew stronger, I started reading on this site to soak in every information - mostly tutorials or reports from people who are about to experience their first time or managed to try it. I'm glad I've found so many useful information, which corrected a lot of false expectations and ideas about sex itself.
But my discomfort did not vanished, I was scared to try it. I think a big reason is the social taboo and the corresponding feeling of being insane and something is just wrong with me for wanting it. Another reason were the reports itself, which frightened me. Since I'm rather small (164 cm, 51kg), I feared a huge discomfort and pain. Although it would be superficial to only emphasize the negative feelings. Before i started reading, my opinion was, that sex would be very similar as sex with a guy. The more my "knowledge" became reverted the more it aroused me that it will be an extreme rough ride. Nevertheless some insecurity remained and i created an account to solve my last remaining questions. In the last weeks I visited a vet to make sure he is healthy and I wont get infected with parasites. One thing i would never have thought of was the risk of getting an allergic shock, due to contact with his semen so i also made sure my body wont react negative by applying some amount on my skin.
I picked this weekend because postponing it furthermore will probably not result in more confidence but rather a habit do delay it more. Also this saturday is a holiday which gives me the confidence there will occur no interruption (postman ringing to deliver a package for neighbor or whatsoever). Additionally I have the sunday as a day of "security" to monitor a possible change in his behavior.
As briefly mentioned earlier in this thread, I consider myself very submissive, therefore my personal favorite outcome in the long run would be him being able to request sex in the apartment whenever he wants by bringing a special object.
Because all of you recommended to limit it to a certain room, i have followed your expertise by choosing the bedroom.
As object for him to trigger sex with me I choosed my carpet slippers. Everyone will think "Awww, what a cute and obedient dog, he even brings the slippers." (?) even though i never use them and prefer walking in socks. I guess it prevents to trigger it by accident.
Thank you at this point for answering my questions and for being such a helpful community to provide guides and assistance!
First sex
Today was quite a rainy day, so after the walk early this morning I needed to clean him, since he loves to play in the mud in the nearby fields, so I gave him an complete wash and cleaned his lower parts to minimize the risk of getting an infection. At this point my heart dropped into my gut since it was about to get serious. It was not a pleasent feeling because sex should be a fun and positive thing. I am not sure why it gave me the apprehensive mood..acually i was looking foreward to it for a few days now.
Quite strange - nevertheless my next goal was to make him comfortable with the slippers and try to establish a connection in his mind with "sex". Probably it is not the best way to train it but my idea was to have the slippers close to me while letting him sniff between my legs at the start. From time to time i put the slippers away from me and blocked all approaches and pointed at them.
It took a decent amount of time and food-rewards until he combined the area with the slippers.
As soon as he established an understanding and brought them to me multiple times, I took off my clothes, went down on my knees and repeated the process until i had a secure feeling the basic concept was understood. Here again i stopped him from licking my pussy, stood up, put my clothes on and moved the slippers away. I made sure he was only allowed to lick or hump me if he brought the slippers and i am entirely naked, no moment earlier.
I'm not fully happy but I guess the foundation is secure and the sometimes faulty outcome is yet a good basis to consolidate it in the future.
I really noticed his urge to have sex with me because it was sometimes hard to cut the interaction and repeat the process. This calmed me not to have a guilty conscience for "using" him as it was one of my fears.
What aroused me was his strength and determination.
I mean I knew how strong he can pull on the leash as soon he smells something interesting but the first dry-humps were indeed a turn on - feeling his fur on my back also his weight, paws and claws.
At this point he was kind of confused because he knew where my butt was but as soon as he jumped on he had problems to enter my vagina, so he jumped off sniffed and licked again just to jump on and fail again. At some point he tried several times to mount me sideways which really was cute on a unreal/absurd level.
I have to admit my anticipation mixed with disquiet, as it still felt incredible wrong what was about to happen and I considered to abort it.
Because he was so restless i could not really get a grip and lead his penis to my vagina, thus many minutes passed as he tried it once more - luckly I managed it to raise my hip a little and lower my upper body so he could get the right angle.
In this moment i instantly regretted it because the pain caused by him entering me was like a really heavy punch to my cervix and my entire body cramped, also for a short moment I had the fear he had really injured me. At this point I can give the advice not to underestimate the first thrust like I did. It is nowhere close to hard sex with a guy. Out of reflex i tried to increase the distance but I really noticed him preventing me from doing so..he increased the the grip with both his paws on my stomach and i think he tried to bite me in the neck. I'm not sure if he really did or if I mistaken the pressure of his chin on my neck in order to keep balance because i tried to move away from him.
Whatever it was, he extremely scared me and I was afraid of him for the first time.
At this moment a million thoughts came to my head simultaneously, it was a complete overstrain of emotions and I still struggle to sort my impressions half a day later.
I felt fear caused by pain, dominance and his total lack of caring but a splitsecond later it was such a huge turn on..I cant even describe it. The dog I trust and know as a tenderness, sensitive, reliable, protective friend fucked me so hard and did not even care for my discomfort. I never imagined he was able to trigger my unrestricted desire to obey him in a glimpse of an eye and it truly felt "right" he mounts me even though (or because) his body language was very aggressive.
Beyond that I felt like he made me his slut and I even pushed my hip towards him to take all the pain so he can insert everything.
Nevertheless i wanted his knot inside me just to be completely his whore. At this point i would have even offered him my throat to grab it with his teeth to be at the mercy of him. It was just pure strength and absolute dominance I felt while he penetrated me.
Right know i can't explain it and I feel staggered for acting like this. Perhaps there is no rational reason inasmuch as the decisions are made subconsciously. I really don't know...
All this felt like an eternity but just took 40 seconds or so until his knot caused additional pain by stretching me so far it felt like my skin is ripping followed by surprisingly warm thrusts of semen. Whithout any doubt this moment wiped aside any questions. Yes, he owns me - why even deny it? But oh my god, I've never had better sex. It was condensed degradation plus for completion he forced me to take his cum. At this point I did not even cared for my consent. It was his right to do whatever he wants and all this without saying a single word (obviously he cant speak ?) but I'm fascinated he managed all this with his body language alone.
We were tied for approximately 2-3 minutes unfortunatley.. I really would have enjoyed it, if it took more time. Maybe next time.
To sum it up this were the key aspects of my first time and my small journey... all this left me helpless as to what it will mean for our relationship in the future. The sex itself was just incredible and satisfying..more than i could imagine. I also see a potential benefit for our relationship from this extra layer of trust and mutual sexual satisfaction. He showed me a my real submissive character but at the moment I don't know if i want to act out this road.. After all I think I'm glad I took the courage to try it but the future will show if this will be a regular part of our life. I still feel soiled (and sore though ?).
