Avoiding awkward meetups and getting general advice

[GlimmeringGreen]

[Question] - For those who have met-up with owners to have their first time experience OR those who simply met up with owners for the first time to have an experience.. how do you go about doing it so it's not awkward, and what advice would you give to those of us who are new?


[Optional Rambling Thoughts] - Meetups in general seem like they can be an awkward and uncomfortable thing, especially for those who are new to the scene. I'm kind of curious how you break the ice and if there are any normal ground rules or acceptable expectations, for both your first time doing and first time meeting.

We're a couple who has not taken that first step so getting wisdom and advice from those who have would be great.

Honestly, I (M) am just here because I enjoy the fantasy of watching, but she is interested in the actual doing. So while I would be there for her safety, I am not sure how it would even work or not just be too awkward to ruin the entire mood or cause cold feet.

For us, because being discreet is key, there could absolutely be no videos. We definitely don't want anyone else being physically involved or making sexual advances.. or running into a situation where, "I'm just helping my boy" while being a bit too handsy type thing. Maybe we are overthinking things.

Then there's the question of how you leave after a successful meet up? Like is it, "oh wow, you're really awesome and appreciate you sharing your boy with us. Im glad he also had a great time. See you again sometime?" - as you awkwardly part ways? lol

Stuck in the think tank while we consider what the "next step" looks like and if we're ready for that type of thing.

 

[kyle_62]

Meeting for coffee and NOT talking about K9 is a perfect way to start

 

[dartel]

General tips and guidelines for meet-up safety.

As some of you are probably aware, I've decided to post some general guidelines for meet-up safety in the personals section. Does this cover every single aspect? It does not. But for the sake of length and general human attention span considerations, I've gone ahead and posted what I believe are...

www.zoovilleforum.net

 

[Clarreknine]

We get to know each other online, then vid chat, then in person. Then moving on. It takes time.

 

[Dogdaddy69]

Meeting for coffee and NOT talking about K9 is a perfect way to start

THIS. THIS THIS THIS THIS.

Do NOT talk about ANY of this shit publicly. EVER. And, if you aren't meeting someone PUBLICLY the 1st time, you are already fucking up and asking for problems. LOT's of problems.

You DO discus all that shit privately. And, I mean ALL of that. EVERY WORD of your questions needs to be discused and discused and discused until ALL parties are satisfied on ALL counts. That can be quick, or it can take forever and a day, it really depends on the individuals involved. I've had short discussions and longer ones, that does vary.

And that INCLUDES CELL PHONES. People have been known, FREQUENTLY, to attempt to sneak video. Simple answer is NO FUCKING CELL PHONES, except YOURS, for potential safety reasons. NON FUCKING NEGOTIABLE. That is NOT an unreasonable expectation, and if the other party thinks it is, they aren't the one. PERIOD.

I'm also coming at this from the owner side of the equation, so consider this, and it sounds like you HAVE considered it and realize already what I'm about to say...................................

Some contact is almost certainly going to happen, it's almost impossible NOT to happen because of the nature of the act. Unless the dog is already fully trained/accostomed to her as a mate, he is almost certainly not mounting entirely on his own.

And for the rest of zv reading this, what that means is NOT that you'll be forcing the dog to do anything, but that NO DOG in a new situation like that is going to just hop on and go to pound town, that's not how dogs work, assistance will be REQUIRED.

Assistance means the owner WILL come into contact with your wife's pussy, PERIOD. THAT, is incidental contact, and to your credit, you appear to already know that. What you're concerned with is INTENTIONAL contact, and that's how it needs to be discused. SET LIMITS, be as specific as possible and......most importantly, BE PREPARED to walk if any of that exceeds your parameters. Just pack up your shit and WALK.

Now, will you? I don't know, and maybe you don't either, but, you DO need to be of the mindset that you damn well will do so. That's going to be a game day decision and an in the moment call, we ALL know that. What I'm saying here is FACE THAT and do so right from the start.

All meetings like this are going to be a bit awkward, no getting around that really. HOW awkward varies. TRY to spend long enough time at the public meet to where you all feel at least half ass comfortable, every bit more comfortable you are there will contribute to it being less awkward next time for real. Or whenever the real time happens, there is no law that says one public meet and straight to the fucking next. Do MORE public meets if you need to do more for everyones comfort.

Meet in public, shake hands, do a hula dance, whatever the hell you do any time you meet new people. Doing whatever it is you always do takes some of the edge off because it's routine. When the meet in public ends, do the same thing, shake hands, whatever.

When you do get around to meeting to do the deed.......this is important..........meet on NEUTRAL GROUND. That is ESSENTIAL. NO meets at your house. And DAMN SURE NO MEETS at their house. Neutral ground almost always means a HOTEL. ALL parties know what to expect at a hotel. NO SURPRISES. Everyone knows what to expect. Meeting at somebody's house means SOMEONE in this equation is walking into the unknown more than they should be.

Is someone lurking in there to rob someone? Does someone have discreet cameras hidden throught the house? YOU DON'T KNOW. So, take NO chances.

Shake hands or whatever, say hi, and then proceed at your own pace for all that comes next.

When the deed is done, say thanks, shake hands, and Elvis leaves the building.

Be prepared also for a TOTAL fail as far as a successful mounting. It happens. And it happens more than people ever let on. Dogs are NOTORIOUS for being SUPER anxious in strange, different or new settings. An anxious dog DOES NOT FUCK. It happens, be prepared that it might.

Sometimes, if you CHILL and just hang out and chit chat, fido will get comfortable and THEN he can do the deed. And, sometimes NOT. While an owner who has done this before with THIS dog might have a very good idea that the dog will or won't, YOU have no idea. So, just be aware that is a possible outcome.

It might go off without a hitch, and I'm not at all trying to tell you it won't, I just say be prepared for things to fail, because it can and has happened.

That's all the really big points, there will be other things that concern you or them, but those are mine for the most part.

One other little tidbit from my own personal experience...........You SHOULD be doing this at a hotel, I already covered that.........BUT, you should also be operating AFTER MAID HOURS. Why? Because maids knock on fucking doors. Some dogs flip their shit when someone knocks on the door.

Knotted woman+maid knocking on door+overly protective natured dog = TROUBLE and more often than not, a knot yanked out. There are all kinds of nasty possibilities in just that one concept, so do yourself a favor and operate after 5pm.

 

[GlimmeringGreen]

THIS. THIS THIS THIS THIS.

Do NOT talk about ANY of this shit publicly. EVER. And, if you aren't meeting someone PUBLICLY the 1st time, you are already fucking up and asking for problems. LOT's of problems.

You DO discus all that shit privately. And, I mean ALL of that. EVERY WORD of your questions needs to be discused and discused and discused until ALL parties are satisfied on ALL counts. That can be quick, or it can take forever and a day, it really depends on the individuals involved. I've had short discussions and longer ones, that does vary.

And that INCLUDES CELL PHONES. People have been known, FREQUENTLY, to attempt to sneak video. Simple answer is NO FUCKING CELL PHONES, except YOURS, for potential safety reasons. NON FUCKING NEGOTIABLE. That is NOT an unreasonable expectation, and if the other party thinks it is, they aren't the one. PERIOD.

I'm also coming at this from the owner side of the equation, so consider this, and it sounds like you HAVE considered it and realize already what I'm about to say...................................

Some contact is almost certainly going to happen, it's almost impossible NOT to happen because of the nature of the act. Unless the dog is already fully trained/accostomed to her as a mate, he is almost certainly not mounting entirely on his own.

And for the rest of zv reading this, what that means is NOT that you'll be forcing the dog to do anything, but that NO DOG in a new situation like that is going to just hop on and go to pound town, that's not how dogs work, assistance will be REQUIRED.

Assistance means the owner WILL come into contact with your wife's pussy, PERIOD. THAT, is incidental contact, and to your credit, you appear to already know that. What you're concerned with is INTENTIONAL contact, and that's how it needs to be discused. SET LIMITS, be as specific as possible and......most importantly, BE PREPARED to walk if any of that exceeds your parameters. Just pack up your shit and WALK.

Now, will you? I don't know, and maybe you don't either, but, you DO need to be of the mindset that you damn well will do so. That's going to be a game day decision and an in the moment call, we ALL know that. What I'm saying here is FACE THAT and do so right from the start.

All meetings like this are going to be a bit awkward, no getting around that really. HOW awkward varies. TRY to spend long enough time at the public meet to where you all feel at least half ass comfortable, every bit more comfortable you are there will contribute to it being less awkward next time for real. Or whenever the real time happens, there is no law that says one public meet and straight to the fucking next. Do MORE public meets if you need to do more for everyones comfort.

Meet in public, shake hands, do a hula dance, whatever the hell you do any time you meet new people. Doing whatever it is you always do takes some of the edge off because it's routine. When the meet in public ends, do the same thing, shake hands, whatever.

When you do get around to meeting to do the deed.......this is important..........meet on NEUTRAL GROUND. That is ESSENTIAL. NO meets at your house. And DAMN SURE NO MEETS at their house. Neutral ground almost always means a HOTEL. ALL parties know what to expect at a hotel. NO SURPRISES. Everyone knows what to expect. Meeting at somebody's house means SOMEONE in this equation is walking into the unknown more than they should be.

Is someone lurking in there to rob someone? Does someone have discreet cameras hidden throught the house? YOU DON'T KNOW. So, take NO chances.

Shake hands or whatever, say hi, and then proceed at your own pace for all that comes next.

When the deed is done, say thanks, shake hands, and Elvis leaves the building.

Be prepared also for a TOTAL fail as far as a successful mounting. It happens. And it happens more than people ever let on. Dogs are NOTORIOUS for being SUPER anxious in strange, different or new settings. An anxious dog DOES NOT FUCK. It happens, be prepared that it might.

Sometimes, if you CHILL and just hang out and chit chat, fido will get comfortable and THEN he can do the deed. And, sometimes NOT. While an owner who has done this before with THIS dog might have a very good idea that the dog will or won't, YOU have no idea. So, just be aware that is a possible outcome.

It might go off without a hitch, and I'm not at all trying to tell you it won't, I just say be prepared for things to fail, because it can and has happened.

That's all the really big points, there will be other things that concern you or them, but those are mine for the most part.

One other little tidbit from my own personal experience...........You SHOULD be doing this at a hotel, I already covered that.........BUT, you should also be operating AFTER MAID HOURS. Why? Because maids knock on fucking doors. Some dogs flip their shit when someone knocks on the door.

Knotted woman+maid knocking on door+overly protective natured dog = TROUBLE and more often than not, a knot yanked out. There are all kinds of nasty possibilities in just that one concept, so do yourself a favor and operate after 5pm.

This is perfect. We did not even consider the whole hotel thing or protecting addresses, thank you. I also really like establishing almost a social rapport with the owner so it almost becomes like "friends" hanging out. Again, we still aren't convinced that we ever will take that next step, but it's absolutely something we want to make sure we are prepared for and doing safely and responsibly. Mahalo for your advice!

 

[GlimmeringGreen]

We get to know each other online, then vid chat, then in person. Then moving on. It takes time.

I agree with the online and then in person bit, but as someone who is overly paranoid and distrustful of human behavior, I would not do video chats. Too many 3rd party recording softwares. You have no idea if you're being recorded or if other people are watching. I also think it's incredibly important to use a VPN and/or a virtual client. I'd much rather meet up somewhere, have them arrive first (agreed upon) and then us meet soon after.. but again, I will admit to being overly cautious and skeptical of people. Establishing a rapport is important, and definitely giving it enough time between online discussion and meet up to help wash away any weirdos or dishonest types.

 

[Schuppentier]

I only read the first paragraph and allready found the problem.

You DO NOT meet up to have your first experience!
If that's your expectation, no genuine zoo will meet up with you. If you meet up just because you expect something like that to happen, than you will die on that hill.

Try to find people to make a genuine connection with them. Completely ban the "I just do this to find an animal to fuck with" - thougth out of your mind, burry it 6 feet under an throw the shovel into the ocean.
Than, with alot of work, you maybe find somebody that you like and that likes you back, and, after some time, that's interested in meeting you. What's happening from there, only time can tell.

 

[GlimmeringGreen]

I only read the first paragraph and allready found the problem.

You DO NOT meet up to have your first experience!
If that's your expectation, no genuine zoo will meet up with you. If you meet up just because you expect something like that to happen, than you will die on that hill.

Try to find people to make a genuine connection with them. Completely ban the "I just do this to find an animal to fuck with" - thougth out of your mind, burry it 6 feet under an throw the shovel into the ocean.
Than, with alot of work, you maybe find somebody that you like and that likes you back, and, after some time, that's interested in meeting you. What's happening from there, only time can tell.

We would never simply meet up with a stranger. I am too paranoid and skeptical of human behaviors and intentions for all that. Anyone suggesting that immediately triggers a red flag.. not only because of our own safety, but that's some insane level of "trust" that screams, shady, dangerous, and reckless.

Definitely looking for potential opportunities and connections.. and as I said, my wife and I are VERY new (1 year) to this scene and have only just recently ordered a toy. We are probably a ways out from reaching out to people or considering a meet up / experience. She is driving while I am just concerned about letting her explore SAFELY.. and even then, I am still unsure how I feel about the whole thing. It's a wild and wonderful fantasy and we love to watch good videos and pull outs, but I am sure IRL is VERY different.

Baby steps

Getting advice from those here who CARE and are experienced and want to lookout for members of their own community though is so important and appreciated.