urchins
Lurker
i've been lurking on zv for like a year+ now, and like most, stumbled upon some less moderated sites prior to making an account on here, some of which i'm pretty sure are banned to even mention or post on here. while those sites also have other disgusting problems like hosting cp due to the same lack of moderation that causes this problem, zv stands out on the internet as the most noticeably moderated and civil site catering to zoos on the internet. despite that, even some content on this site feels disingenuous or forced or forced in my opinion.
a gross trend i've consistently seen in zoo vids as long as i've "indulged" is dogs and other animals, but predominately dogs being mistreated and treated like sex toys. this has been an addressed issue, but as long as i've lurked on these parts of the internet i feel like over half of the zoo videos available are a dog super clearly being forced to mount someone or refusing to mount someone, the dog being corrected for not doing what they want, dildogging, or just generally rough/clearly uninformed handling of a dog.
i understand that there are a significant group of people that are purely into bestiality as a fetish with no "deeper" feelings toward animals, and alot of "professional" zoo content that was made, even before my time, was very fetish-focused, and the distinction between bestiality as a fetish and zoophilia is practically pointless to those in society who don't have these feelings, but i wish that THIS type of porn wasn't so common online, and casual on sites that host zoo content, to the point where it makes up what i think is fair to say most of the zoo content hosted online.
i was always a genuine animal lover growing up, before i hit puberty and all of those feelings fully manifested into me realizing i was a zoo or even gay to begin with, i just genuinely loved and appreciated nature and animals. i've always held the same empathy for animals as i did people, i was the type to feel bad over the typical "shoo, boy!" treatment of dogs when going over to my friends house, i could never mistreat my pets or treat them like they're worthy of less consideration than a person. the reason i've always wanted to have a pet is to give them a happy and healthy life to live, something to come home and kind of cater to like a child.
as my feelings started to develop and expand for animals enough for me to realize that i was actually a zoo, i felt so conflicted, and in denial to myself for a while. obviously not being comfortable enough with anyone around me to address the thoughts with another person, i went to the internet. my research on the internet presented 2 sides of people who acknowledged or shared this internal conflict i had.
non-zoo people portraying all zoos as the same cold-hearted abusers and animal rapists pursuing only their own sexual fantasies; then, contextualized by all i heard from the anti-zoos, i then discovered the side of the internet which DID cater to zoos and was easily accessible. ALL of the websites i could find catering to zoos were straight up porn sites, fetish sites with a zoo section hosting a selection of straight up abusive zoo content. especially being someone familiar with the behavior and body language of dogs, it was genuinely hard to bring myself to watch through half of any of these videos, the dogs were either clearly uncomfortable and half willing in the act, or very clearly were trained by people for the purpose of sex. all this completely disgusted me, and these entirely bestiality focused / porn sites were not going to address or even acknowledge the genuine love i felt. all this effectively made me feel guilty and gross for my physical attraction, and alone in my emotional or romantic attraction, something none of these people seemed to have beneath their sexual attraction, demonstrated by treatment of the animals in videos.
i was in a 'i'm better than them, i'm not like them, right?' state of denial for what was probably years, feeling guilty to even entertain the thought in my head of me actually being a zoo. this went on until some time in 2022 when i discovered ZV for the first time after struggling to find it through search engines. i hadn't made an account yet, so i just lurked on the non-nsfw boards, reading through some pinned informative and educational articles. it felt like i had just found a safe-haven of similar, understanding people. it sounds exaggerative, but what i read genuinely answered everything i had been feeling like i was going crazy about. for years it felt like i was somehow one of the only people with enough of a set of morals and empathy to have zoo attractions while also still putting the wellbeing and happiness of my pet first.
what i wish i could go back and say to my younger teenage self is, of course i'm attracted to certain things and have fantasies related to said things, the same way people attracted to strictly to humans do, my issue was that i saw my fantasies as gross intrusive thoughts that made me guilty of being a monster who wanted to harm the animals that i knew i loved. the shock factor of how taboo my own fantasies were prevented me from really processing the fact that, regardless of the species of your partner, you cannot have a happy and healthy emotional relationship with your partner if you prioritize your own desires while disregarding your partners. in "regular" human relationships, a fantasy is just viewed as a fantasy, a far-fetched, loosely associated with your sexual preferences thought that passes, something you can't let drive your actions in a relationship if you truly seek love out of it.
a gross trend i've consistently seen in zoo vids as long as i've "indulged" is dogs and other animals, but predominately dogs being mistreated and treated like sex toys. this has been an addressed issue, but as long as i've lurked on these parts of the internet i feel like over half of the zoo videos available are a dog super clearly being forced to mount someone or refusing to mount someone, the dog being corrected for not doing what they want, dildogging, or just generally rough/clearly uninformed handling of a dog.
i understand that there are a significant group of people that are purely into bestiality as a fetish with no "deeper" feelings toward animals, and alot of "professional" zoo content that was made, even before my time, was very fetish-focused, and the distinction between bestiality as a fetish and zoophilia is practically pointless to those in society who don't have these feelings, but i wish that THIS type of porn wasn't so common online, and casual on sites that host zoo content, to the point where it makes up what i think is fair to say most of the zoo content hosted online.
i was always a genuine animal lover growing up, before i hit puberty and all of those feelings fully manifested into me realizing i was a zoo or even gay to begin with, i just genuinely loved and appreciated nature and animals. i've always held the same empathy for animals as i did people, i was the type to feel bad over the typical "shoo, boy!" treatment of dogs when going over to my friends house, i could never mistreat my pets or treat them like they're worthy of less consideration than a person. the reason i've always wanted to have a pet is to give them a happy and healthy life to live, something to come home and kind of cater to like a child.
as my feelings started to develop and expand for animals enough for me to realize that i was actually a zoo, i felt so conflicted, and in denial to myself for a while. obviously not being comfortable enough with anyone around me to address the thoughts with another person, i went to the internet. my research on the internet presented 2 sides of people who acknowledged or shared this internal conflict i had.
non-zoo people portraying all zoos as the same cold-hearted abusers and animal rapists pursuing only their own sexual fantasies; then, contextualized by all i heard from the anti-zoos, i then discovered the side of the internet which DID cater to zoos and was easily accessible. ALL of the websites i could find catering to zoos were straight up porn sites, fetish sites with a zoo section hosting a selection of straight up abusive zoo content. especially being someone familiar with the behavior and body language of dogs, it was genuinely hard to bring myself to watch through half of any of these videos, the dogs were either clearly uncomfortable and half willing in the act, or very clearly were trained by people for the purpose of sex. all this completely disgusted me, and these entirely bestiality focused / porn sites were not going to address or even acknowledge the genuine love i felt. all this effectively made me feel guilty and gross for my physical attraction, and alone in my emotional or romantic attraction, something none of these people seemed to have beneath their sexual attraction, demonstrated by treatment of the animals in videos.
i was in a 'i'm better than them, i'm not like them, right?' state of denial for what was probably years, feeling guilty to even entertain the thought in my head of me actually being a zoo. this went on until some time in 2022 when i discovered ZV for the first time after struggling to find it through search engines. i hadn't made an account yet, so i just lurked on the non-nsfw boards, reading through some pinned informative and educational articles. it felt like i had just found a safe-haven of similar, understanding people. it sounds exaggerative, but what i read genuinely answered everything i had been feeling like i was going crazy about. for years it felt like i was somehow one of the only people with enough of a set of morals and empathy to have zoo attractions while also still putting the wellbeing and happiness of my pet first.
what i wish i could go back and say to my younger teenage self is, of course i'm attracted to certain things and have fantasies related to said things, the same way people attracted to strictly to humans do, my issue was that i saw my fantasies as gross intrusive thoughts that made me guilty of being a monster who wanted to harm the animals that i knew i loved. the shock factor of how taboo my own fantasies were prevented me from really processing the fact that, regardless of the species of your partner, you cannot have a happy and healthy emotional relationship with your partner if you prioritize your own desires while disregarding your partners. in "regular" human relationships, a fantasy is just viewed as a fantasy, a far-fetched, loosely associated with your sexual preferences thought that passes, something you can't let drive your actions in a relationship if you truly seek love out of it.
