A Friend Received this Advice
- Thread starter omonundro
- Start date
E
egoldstein
Guest
I've little doubt that the advice has some merit.
When I was a young man living on a farm, a neighbor was over negotiating for baling hay. He was a very odd fellow, friendly and likeable, but the most crass man I've ever met, at one point he turned to me out of the blue and said, "Make sure you fuck the young heiffers, those old cows will just shit on your dick."
The same man would also yell out when we were at a livestock auction, "[Farmer I lived with], you need to get them sheep; this boy needs a girlfriend. You want them ewes don't ya, Emmanuel?"
His typical greeting, always said at the loudest volume he could attain was typically along the lines of, "There's that cock-sucking, mother-fucker, god-damned useless piece of shit, good for nothing bastard! What are you fucking up?" First I heard it I thought the man was in a fit of rage, but no, that's just his typical greeting for people he liked. People he didn't like he'd not speak to at all and would only remark, often in their presence, "I wouldn't piss on that cock-sucker if he were on fire", "wouldn't piss down his throat if he were dying of thirst", etc.
I was pretty sure he was actively banging his livestock, but I never admitted anything to him. As I said, a very strange man.
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Zoolover4ever66
Zooville Settler
Thanks for this hilarious story about your childhood or young adulthood. It made me laugh so loudI've little doubt that the advice has some merit.
When I was a young man living on a farm, a neighbor was over negotiating for baling hay. He was a very odd fellow, friendly and likeable, but the most crass man I've ever met, at one point he turned to me out of the blue and said, "Make sure you fuck the young heiffers, those old cows will just shit on your dick."
The same man would also yell out when we were at a livestock auction, "[Farmer I lived with], you need to get them sheep; this boy needs a girlfriend. You want them ewes don't ya, Emmanuel?"
His typical greeting, always said at the loudest volume he could attain was typically along the lines of, "There's that cock-sucking, mother-fucker, god-damned useless piece of shit, good for nothing bastard! What are you fucking up?" First I heard it I thought the man was in a fit of rage, but no, that's just his typical greeting for people he liked. People he didn't like he'd not speak to at all and would only remark, often in their presence, "I wouldn't piss on that cock-sucker if he were on fire", "wouldn't piss down his throat if he were dying of thirst", etc.
I was pretty sure he was actively banging his livestock, but I never admitted anything to him. As I said, a very strange man.